Friday, December 28, 2007

Sad but Happy

It's a little bit of a sad day today. A lady that I have worked with (and absolutely adore) since I was 17, is retiring. I am so happy for her because this is truly a blessing for her and will be so good for her. But at the same time, it is quite sad. It is going to be so weird not having her around anymore. I really have a hard time imagining coming to work, walking in, and not having her smiling self say good morning. Or come down the hall and give me a kiss because she is after all, my mother hen!

To celebrate her retirement, we are taking her to lunch. I love Mexican food, so we are very lucky! From there, I will say my goodbyes and then be on my way to spend the rest of the day doing my own thing. I haven't taken any time for myself in a while, so I am taking this afternoon to do some things that I have been putting off.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend!!! I can't believe it's almost 2008!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Just Beautiful!

This is the view of Mt. Rose from my parents house Christmas morning. Absolutely gorgeous!!!

They are so lucky to have this view right out their living room window. It is just breath taking.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wonderful Christmas

This Christmas was by far the most wonderful yet, but also the most unusual. I got to spend Christmas Eve with my family, which I am always thankful to do. We had good food, yummy drinks, and played some games. Just having everyone together at the same time is a huge gift. Christmas morning was fun. This year it was just the two of us because the kids were with their mom, so we exchanged our gifts together in our new home. It was very sweet and really was such a great feeling to be with the man that I love in our house on Christmas morning. We then rushed up to my parents house to be with them. My sister was all sorts of sad that I didn't stay Christmas Eve with her, but happy that when she got up, I was there. We opened gifts and then had breakfast. It was so nice and relaxing.

Next we were off to his parents house. This was the part that was unusual for me. I have never not been with my family on Christmas. I know I was with them in the morning, but it was so weird leaving to go to another house without them. However, it was still a wonderful afternoon. We got the kids early which was so nice and we were both so very thankful for that. The afternoon was spent opening gifts, eating yummy food, playing games, and just enjoying being with each other. I was very happy when my parents showed up. They came to see the kids on Christmas and to give them their gifts.

The whole day was amazing...everything about it. I loved playing "Santa" and I loved more than anything just spending time with the people that I love. It really couldn't have been any better.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Letting Go

It is really crazy how people come in and out of your life. I am usually left wondering, I wonder what the purpose of that was. There are times when I realize, huh, they did this for me or I was able to do this for them. It is when I can put meaning on the 'relationship' that there was that I feel like there really was some sort of importance and the time wasn't wasted. I am not just talking about relationships with guys, I am talking about friendships as well. I have my few close friends, my best friends, and then I have many other friends, acquaintances. I care for all the people that I allow in my life and truly try to do right by all of them. I have had friendships end and instead of feeling sad, I always find the bright side in it.

A friendship of mine ended. I think it started coming to an end a couple weeks ago, but it literally died over the weekend. I can't say that I am sad because I would be lying. In fact, I know that it is truly for the best. Do I hate this person? No. We are just both very different and definitely see most everything opposite of each other. I am thankful for her for one thing where she is concerned - pushing me at the right moment back in May to send a text message that ended up changing my life for the better. Aside from that, there really wasn't much more to our 'relationship'.

Saturday night we spent Eli's birthday at Coconut Bowl. Everyone knows that he goes there for his birthday and my friends knew that is what we were planning (since August). The fact that his ex, who I was friends with was there, was a bit odd to me. I let it go because our night was going so well that we weren't going to let anyone get us down. We had the private bowling area reserved, but only for two hours, so after our friends moved over to be closer to the jungle gym since that is where the kids were anyway. Well the table they picked was close to where his ex was sitting. They picked the table, not us. They didn't know who the other people were nor did they care. They wanted to be close to where the kids come in and out so we could all keep an eye on the kids playing. His ex wasn't at the table when we got over to where everyone was at. I actually was at the table before Eli was. And it was then that his exes mom started shouting my name. I went over and said hi and it was then that she started making inappropriate comments. I smiled and shrugged it off. Well, when Eli came over to our table, she started shouting his name. Him, trying to be nice, went over to say hi to her. Not because he likes her because truthfully he can't stand her and has never had a kind thing to say about her (or anyone else in the family), but to be nice. He was in a great mood, it was his birthday, and he didn't want problems.

I am not sure what was said while he was over there, but he came back irritated. I guess she was making inappropriate comments to him as well and he doesn't put up with shit like that at all. And I don't blame him at all. We were minding our own business and enjoying the time with our friends while the kids played and that is when things escalated. We were informed by one of the people at our table that his exes mom was taking pictures of us. So Eli picked up the phone and did the same back and told her to grow up. My back was to the other table, so I have no idea what sent him over the edge, but he was done. He was done with all the nonsense bullshit that had ever arose from dating his ex. Her mom came over and was saying stuff to him, he was saying things back. Was he drunk? Nope, quite the opposite. He isn't stupid. We had the kids and he doesn't get drunk when we have them. He was pissed. He was pissed for the things his ex has done to me or said to me, for judging where his kids are concerned (no one messes with his kids), and the fact they wouldn't just let us be. Her mom came over and was trying to show him the camera to say she wasn't taking pictures of us, but he didn't want to see it and he kept telling her that and she kept insisting.

Due to the pushing, he finally let it all out. Everything that he had been wanting to say and had been holding back flowed out. Everything that he felt, thought, and never said, came out. The fact that I was even friends with his ex pissed him off to no extent. He absolutely despises her, loathes her, and literally has never said one kind word about her. I don't know exactly what happened between the two of them and truthfully, I could care less. It was many years ago and the fact that it seems to still be something that her and her family can't let go is quite sad. Yes, he said mean things to them. Do I blame him? Not so much. I was honestly shocked with how her mom kept pushing and the ugly, nasty things that came out of her mouth. It wasn't like we just sat down and then he flipped out. He was pushed to the limit and now it is all said and done.

I would never, ever forgive my mother for acting like that. If my mom ever got involved in my business like that and said the things that hers did, I would be mortified. And seriously, who on Earth goes up to someone and tries to make bets on how long a relationship is going to last? Yep, her mom. It wasn't until she made that comment to Eli about not putting a $100 on us lasting, that he told her that she was trailer trash, garbage, and to go back to the trailer park.

As all this was unfolding, I realized that it was far past the time that I should have let that friendship go. It was long over due. I realized that I have a great guy that is willing to stick up for his family - his kids and me and that he isn't going to let someone try to screw with us. After all was said and done, he just looked and me and told me how much he loved me and it was then I knew that I am a better person being with him. I am not meaner, bitchier, or weaker. In fact, I am stronger, I don't let the little things get to me, I don't let other people affect me. I am nice to those that are nice to me and are true friends. I am a bitch when it suits as are most other people. It is quite sad that someone that was a friend has used everything that was shared during our friendship to try to hurt me and our relationship.

I am thankful that Saturday night happened. I have been looking for an out in that 'relationship' for awhile and it just made it simple and easy and like I said before, it should have been done a long time ago. I don't need someone in my life that is constantly going to judge and ridicule me nor someone that sits and just waits to see if my relationship will unfold. Saturday night brought Eli and I closer than we were even earlier that day. I love him more and more each day and always will.

Christmas is Here!

I can't even begin to say how excited I am for Christmas! I am looking forward to all the family time. I am anxious sitting here at work knowing that when I get off and Eli picks me up, we are off to a house full of love and special family time. I am so very excited for my first Christmas with Eli and the kids. Tomorrow is going to be so much fun seeing their little faces light up. Both of our families are just so excited to spend time with them. It really is all about family and the kids at this time of year. We have everything done and are all set and ready. Now I am just filled with excitement and anxiety!!!

It is this time of year that I realize how lucky I am. I have the most wonderful boyfriend. Yes, there have been a couple down times, but we have risen above them and are only stronger, closer, and have a better understanding of each other. I am so in love was reminded of that all weekend and today.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. Enjoy and cherish all the time with your family, friends, loved ones - this time of year is so special and a time to really take it all in!

Friday, December 21, 2007


I have been tagged by Lindz for a meme - thanks Lindz!

~ Start Copy ~

Rules :
1. Copy from “Start Copy” until “End of Copy”.
2. Before “End of Copy”, share your best memories of 2007 include your name and your URL blog.
3. Share this tag to your friends.

This year has been a year of changes!

2007 brought:

Moving back to my old job. What a great move it was. It really was a healthy move. I actually like coming to work, I enjoy what I am doing, I have a ton of freedom and my supervisors are awesome.

Eli and the kids. I couldn’t ask for anything better. This relationship is truly the best thing that has happened to me and one that I cherish. I have learned so many new things and the meaning and feeling of true love. I cherish having the kids be a part of my life again and love so much watching them grow, learn, experience. It truly is a wonderful thing. My life feels whole, complete and like everything is just how it should be.

My trip to Park City to help my best friend plan her wedding and just an all around great time with my two best friends. Without them, my life wouldn’t be the same. I love them so much.

Our new house!! There are still so many things that need to be done and that I want to do, but I still love it. It is ours and just perfect for the four of us. Plus it’s a great neighborhood. We really lucked out.

My first cruise!!! The time away and it being just the two of us was just awesome. It was a nice get away and a great time to bond and get even closer. Not to mention the great places that we visited that were just beautiful!

Teaching my sister to drive my truck which is a stick. That was by far one of the funniest things ever. I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe and almost peed my pants. She is the cutest thing.

My discovery of pan roast. My papa always ate it, but I had never tried it until one time out with Eli. Boy had I been missing out!

Making new friends in the blogging world and getting to know new people from blogging.

Learning a new position for work and getting promoted!!!!!!!!!! New responsibility, new office, new title, more money! I like working and like it even more when I know that I am needed and thought of so well as an employee to be considered for such a move.

Alright, that is it for now because I have work I need to work on.

I tag Angie, Lainey-Paney, Patty, Megan

Thursday, December 20, 2007


I have never been a girl who gets all excited over flowers or expects them or anything. Could that be because I have never been with anyone worth while? More than likely. Nonetheless, I am still like that. I get asked all the time about this kind of thing and I always answer that flowers aren't really my thing. I am just not like that. I am not into presents all the time or being super pampered. Don't get me wrong, little things here are nice as long as they come from the heart. If I were to get flowers all the time, then there wouldn't be any joy and surprise when I do get them.

With that being said, Eli does simple little things for me all the time to let me know that he loves and cares about me. I have gotten roses a couple of times which were very much appreciated and all too cute.

Last night I got a text from him a little before 5pm saying that he would be leaving work at 5pm and that he loves me. I was absolutely freezing for some reason (could be that the heat was off all day and I was waiting for the house to warm up...), so I crawled in bed and snuggled and just waited for him to get him. He comes in and walks in to find me and first thing out of his mouth was, "What the fuck happened to your truck??" I looked at him like he was an alien.

Me: "Nothing happened to it. What are you talking about?"

Him: "Um, there is a six inch dent in the front of it by your wheel well."

Me: "No there isn't. I didn't see it."

Him: "You never notice anything and yes there is. What did you do? What happened?"

Me: "Are you serious???"

Him: "Yes, I just ran my finger along it."

Me: "I didn't do anything." -at this point I am about to cry, I hate when stuff like that happens-

He comes over and hugs and kisses on me and then I decide that it is time to go and check out this dent that I didn't notice that he is all upset over. I walk to the garage door, breath a heavy sigh, open the door....AND...on the hood of my truck are beautiful flowers. It was such a nice, wonderful surprise. I turned around and hugged him and then had to hit him for scaring me that there was a dent in my truck. They are seriously so pretty. Have a look!
The picture is a little blurry, but you can see how beautiful they are! I think they are so pretty. I couldn't stop smiling. He is so good about doing the little things at just the right time and letting me know that he loves me. I definitely am spoiled that is for sure.

We were supposed to go to another basketball game last night, but it ended up that neither one of us were in the mood to be around other people. Instead, we wanted to be alone - after all, the flowers really seemed to start to heat things up! So we shared a nice evening alone. ;)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


My sister called me after her appointment with the neurologist. At first I thought that she was crying, but then realized that she was just hurting due to her head. I was so anxious to hear what she found out and what the neurologist had to say. The neurologist doesn't "think" that there is anything seriously wrong with her. He thinks that she is just suffering from hereditary migraines. Crazy to me that they just all of a sudden started happening. I know that people get them, I just didn't realize that they happened so frequently.

So she was given some sort of nose spray that she is to take if she wakes up at night and feels a headache coming on. Then she was given a pill to take for when she feels one coming on during the day. And the was given yet another pill to take every day.

I guess I am happy that he thinks it is just migraines. It is just so very sad to me still that the sweet thing has to deal with such crap at a young age. I am very, very thankful that it isn't something life threatening or anything like that. I am just hoping the pills and nose spray really help her out so that the headaches aren't so often or near as bad. At least now, we can all rest at ease finally.


The sweet girl is having more issues with her headaches. The vitamins they put her on seemed to help a little bit, but didn't last long. On Monday she had to go home early from school because she was in so much pain. She slept for 6 hours. Her head was still hurting her so bad that she even stayed home from school yesterday. Mom called her doctor yesterday morning and she had to go in for and EKG to see how her heart is because they are going to put her on stronger meds. Today, she goes in to see a neurologist. I feel so bad for her. I hate that she is in so much pain. I was talking to her on the phone last night and you could just hear in her voice how much she was hurting.

I talked to my mom this morning to see how she was doing and my sister will not be going to school again today. I guess she was up over half the night in so much pain that she couldn't get comfortable enough to even fall asleep. So heartbreaking. Yesterday she finally told us that she is scared. She is scared because she doesn't know what is wrong with her and scared that it could be something really bad. She also said that the only time she doesn't feel it is when she sleeps...but that wasn't so much the case last night, so it makes me think that it is getting worse.

I am scared for her and worried. I just want us to get some answers and figure it out so that something can be done so she can start feeling well again.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Much Needed Humor

Could you imagine looking out your front window and seeing this???


Monday, December 17, 2007

Thought for the day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.


This Made Me Smile

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "No."

And she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank vodka tonics with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny and was never farted on.

The End

Weekend stuff & Sister stuff

Well, we didn't get the Christmas shopping done that I thought we might. But that is ok. We still have part of this week and an evening this weekend. Nothing like waiting til the last minute. This is the worst I have put it off yet. But that is what happens when you have a new house and oh so many bills. Well worth it and it will all get done, I have faith. I was starting to stress though last night. I have to get the presents for the kids wrapped and we only have tonight, Sunday night and Christmas Eve that I can do it. And Christmas Eve we are busy, so I am really looking at just two nights. I seriously can't even begin to express how excited I am for Christmas this year. It is going to be the best yet!

The weekend was a good one. On Friday night, I sent the boyfriend and his best friend to a concert and I had "girl" time with my good friend, Dawn. Tara stopped by for a little bit too, but seeing Dawn and talking and catching up with her was just awesome. She is just a genuine friend and one that I am so thankful and glad to have. We don't have to talk every week and see each other all the time and yet, we are still able to pick up right where we left off. And really, she cracks my ass up. She really is one of those people that comes off as so sweet and innocent, but really...she isn't! She is probably more sassy than I am and can have just as much attitude. I love it!

The rest of the weekend, Eli and I just spend together. Saturday was a relaxing day. We went to lunch together and then went up to my parents house. My sister had her Christmas Ball dance that night and wanted me to come help her. I played it off that I wouldn't be able to make it (guess she even pouted to mom about it), so when I showed up, she freaked out. It was so cute. Her, her best friend, and my cousin all got ready together. It was so fun listening to them and watching them. I couldn't help but think back to all the dances that I have gotten ready for. She looked so beautiful. And Eli was such a trooper listening to all the girl chatter, hair and make-up doing.

My sister and her best friend. Her friend is the sweetest thing ever and the two of them have so much fun together!
My sister, her friend, and my cousin. They all look so pretty!!!

Here are the cousins...stupid camera! So many of the pictures I took turned out blurry. Pisses me right off! Oh well, you can still see how gorgeous they are!

After the getting ready and getting the girls off to their dance, Eli and I went to dinner and then got a movie and just snuggled on the couch. Snuggling is the best time!

Yesterday we slept in, went to lunch with his parents and then got a couple drinks before going to watch another basketball game. Again, we had so much fun and are planning on going again. It is nice that we are able to enjoy stuff like that together. Then it was home, I cooked some dinner and then off to bed to be refreshed for this week.

Overall, it was a nice weekend. The next two weekends are going to be crazy busy for us. I will update you as they come!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Christmas Spirit

I am starting to really get in the Christmas spirit. It actually sort of started last weekend when we got our tree, but really kicked in last night. We took the kiddos to Grandma and Papa's and they got to decorate their tree. She also got a bunch of clear ornaments and some fun pens and everyone got to decorate their own. Such a simple idea, but so damn cute. And something that you will have for years to come. Being as I am not the craftiest of people, I only made one, but it turned out very cute and it is a "family" one and dated.

Then we just had our Christmas party at work. It is so nice having everyone get all together for good food and just a good time. Everyone was just so happy and in a good mood and festive. I never really realize how many people work in our department until get togethers like this. It is amazing how many people work every day that you never see.

And this weekend, I think we are going to be doing some Christmas shopping. We just have to buy some little things for each of our family and then we are done. Now I just need to get my butt in gear and get everything wrapped. I can't wait for the family to be all together again and sharing a great time. This has been the best year for holiday's yet with the three special people that I have in my life and their great family that I get to embrace as mine. I am one lucky girl!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Finally Busy

It is so nice. I love it. I am still bouncing between both positions, but I have found it to be good in the sense that I am always having something to do. There isn't so much down time at work. With the new position I am learning so many new things and the lady training me has completely backed off and given me everything. Most everything I know what to do, but there are certain times that there are more things to end of the year, balancing things, and so on. So I am doing the new stuff now. It is very refreshing and energizing to be learning new things and be trusted to do important stuff on my own in a job that is brand new.

But, with the responsibility, comes stress. The other job was so carefree. I had been doing it for so long that it was nothing to do it. I could do it in my sleep! Now I am just trying to find a balance. And it's not a bad stress, but a good stress. A stress of actually having stuff to do and having to prioritize things. I am just so happy and so thankful that all this is working out and that I am picking up and learning everything so fast. And I am very thankful for all the help and support I have gotten from my co-workers.

Alright, back to work now! Just wanted to update on how well things were going!


I used to go to the UNR basketball games with my ex a lot. There was one season a couple years ago and I think we only missed one or two home games. It was crazy. Last year I only went to a few. These games are seriously so much fun to go to. I love watching them play and I love just being out and doing something.

I was able to score Eli and I some free tickets from one of my hook-ups on campus for last nights game. We made a whole night of it. We both were home early, went to dinner, and then went to the game. It was such a nice, simple evening.

There was a guy sitting behind us that was seriously cracking my ass up the whole time. This guy would seriously just start screaming at the ref's and yet, was pretty far away that I am sure they couldn't hear him. He talked shit the whole time and was just hysterical to listen to. I couldn't help but laugh. Not only was the game good, but I had some extra entertainment as well!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


I really do find great pleasure in knowing that there are people that have nothing better to do with their lives than try to bring me down. I find even more pleasure in knowing that whoever (could be more than one person) it is takes the time to visit my blog, read my blog, and then create names and passwords just so they can leave a snide comment on my blog. I wonder if they really have nothing better to do with themselves.

I got this comment this morning when I talked about how cold it is in my office: "do you do anything other than complain?"

Ha! Obviously you don't read my blog in it's entirety.

The first negative comment (the one that got erased!) was posted on my post about what I was thankful for right around Thanksgiving. Who in their right mind would be mean to someone when the post is so uplifting and nice. Truthfully, it shows that the person doing it isn't a good person at all and has nothing but negative energy filling their heart. It is so funny to me because it doesn't ruin my day, it doesn't bring me down, it doesn't do anything but amuse me how immature some people are. The people that judge me and take the time out of their day to do stupid shit only shows me that they are unhappy with their own life and can't stay out of mine.

I realize that having this blog leaves me open to be judged and scrutinized. And that is ok by me. You don't have to like me, you don't have to like what I write, and you don't have to visit this blog. Blogging is something that I enjoy. It is a way of releasing things that are on my mind and finding support and new friends. I don't just write about happy times. I talk about the trying times and the not so good, as well as the happy and fun times. Most of the good is on my private blog, but I still share A LOT of good on this one as well. It truly has been a great experience that will not be ruined by immature people that have nothing better to do with their time than be assholes to other people. This is a time of year when people are supposed to be nice, caring, merry. So for those of you that aren't feeling that, I am sorry for you. I hope that in time you are able to find that eventually. It's time to grow up, let go, and move on.

Swoon Worthy

My boyfriend is awesome. I love him more and more every day. He is isn't the best about sharing exactly how he is feeling, so when he does, it makes me melt.

I got this text message the other day:

"I wish I had the words to express my love for you Stephanie. You mean the absolute world to me and always will til the end of time."

Definitely heart melting and swoon worthy.


Today I am wearing my new is so freaking cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eli's parents did a whole big order for the shop and I was lucky enough to get a really super cute purple form fitting jacket. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. And then I also got this way cute black zip up. I swear, I am so spoiled sometimes and so lucky at the same time. I just love them!


I have an office job. With that you would think that I wouldn't have to worry about being cold or uncomfortable. Not so much the case at all. Instead, I am constantly bundled up. Half the time, you will find me wearing my jacket (I am still wearing mine now). There is no wearing short sleeves and even with a long sleeve, it is still cold. We literally have to have personal little heaters to try to warm the office up. Ugh, so annoying.

Oh, and I am feeling much better. It took til over the weekend for my voice finally to be normal again. I still have a stuffy nose at times and a cough, but other than that, I am great. Thanks Lindz for asking!!! :)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Update on Sister

The MRI results came back and they were normal. So no tumor...thank God! What a huge relief that is for her and everyone else. Now, mom is just waiting to talk to the doctor on what to do next. I guess my sister started taking some vitamins that are supposed to help with the headaches, but she had one yesterday afternoon. I am sure that the vitamins need to get in her system though before you feel the effects of them. I am just so thankful that a tumor is ruled out.

Thank you all for all of your support, kind words, prayers, thoughts...everything. You guys are so wonderful. It truly means a lot to me.

Monday, December 10, 2007


I have such a bad headache. I am so sick of this shit. It looks like I am going to have to get an epidural. I need to schedule it and hopefully it will happen fairly soon because I need some sort of relief. I am so tired of the pain. I just hate this. It affects so much - especially my work. It is hard to sit on the computer all day when your neck is killing me.

I know I have whined over this before, but it is something that sucks to deal with and live with especially when I was pain free before the accident ever happened. What's even better, is I wasn't doing anything wrong the day of the accident. I was simply on my way to the gym at 4pm. What is more annoying is all the people involved that are claiming that they aren't at fault. The people that dropped the furniture that work for a big company here in town are saying, "Well, if people were paying attention, they would have slowed down or changed lanes and no accident would have happened even though there was something in the road." And then everyone else is saying that the accident happened because of that piece of furniture. I am just so lucky I was paying attention and came to a stop - even though I was still forced into my friend in front of me.

Ok, enough whining. I just want to feel better.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Simply Irritated

That is the genuine feeling that I am feeling right now. And really, that is all I have to say right now about it because I couldn't even put my feelings into words if I tried.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Extremely Worried

My beautiful sister:

There is something wrong with my sister, but they don't know what it is yet. For some time now she has been getting super bad headaches...not migraines though. But these headaches totally knock her on her ass. It is so sad. The poor girl is 16 and they happen at least once a week. When the problem first started, we thought maybe that her prescription had changed and so she got her eyes checked. Well, it hadn't changed, so that couldn't be the problem. Just last week, mom took her to the doctor and the doctor told my sister to take some kind of pill or something, but to get an MRI just in case.

Well, the sweet angel had to stay home from school, again, today. Her head hurt so bad that she was crying and didn't want my mom to go to work. You know she is sick when that happens! Today was her MRI and so now, it is just a waiting game. I am scared to death. I am so worried. She is so young and I just pray and hope that there isn't something seriously wrong with her.

It seriously scares the living shit out of me right now and my poor sister is trying to be so strong and act like it's not bothering her. But I know better. She always tries to act like she doesn't care or she isn't hurting even though inside she is torn up. I just wish that it wasn't her. That it was me instead. She shouldn't have to deal with the pain or the anxiety.

I just hope that it isn't something serious and that we don't really have to wait until Monday like the tech said to my mom and sister today. I hate waiting. But I am so ready for my sister not to have the painful headaches that she does and just to be a happy teenager.
I love you little Boo!!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

My Day is Made

Eli informed me last night that he would be working up at one of the new buildings on campus. This is exciting just because we would be working in the same vicinity, but realistically, that doesn't mean that either of us would actually have the time to see the other. Me, I am training on a new job and him, well...his job is so random that he could or couldn't get breaks and what not.

First thing this morning I pulled into the parking garage and the first thing that I saw was his crane out the opening. I instantly smiled. I know, I am sappy. I mean, we hadn't even been apart a couple hours. But still it made my heart thud. Then as I was walking out of the parking garage I sent him a text message saying, "I see you...!" By the time I walked out, he was peeking out the crane and instantly waved when he saw me. So cute. (I am sure some of you are barfing...oh well, I never get sappy on here) A few seconds later I got a text saying, "I love you." So freaking cute.

The day went on and we were texting. I was busy during his break. Then I was busy doing my new job and missed his lunch. I know, I suck and am an asshole. Oh well. I didn't think that I would see him because of that, but then, he surprised me and called when he left the job and stopped by to see me before he went back to the shop. I thought that was sweet considering we will be home together in just a little bit. The guy makes me smile that is for sure.

So, it is because of my sweet boyfriend that my day was made.

Can't Wait!!!

So a bunch of things that we ordered for the kids for Christmas came to the house. I am so very excited. Going through everything, I felt like it was Christmas and got so excited for them. I seriously can't wait to see how they are and how they react. It's going to be so great and so wonderful!!!! It's so fun being on this side of it and has been a great experience so far. I am truly enjoying it.

I still have so much that I need to do though. I haven't bought for any of my friends, still have my parents and sister to buy for and then some of the people on Eli's side. I swear I love this time of year so much, but it is so stressful at the same time. I wish that I would have been more prepared this year, but with so many things going on and a new house, you do what you can. And the house makes the stress more than worth it. I am just looking forward to all the family time. That by far out weighs everything.

Congrats Jen!!!! =)

I have heard that Jen had little Coleton!!! I am so very excited. I can't wait to hear more about it.

I heart all of you Jen!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Blogging Machine

I just realized that last month between this blog and the Hidden one, I posted 50 posts. That is insane. I couldn't believe it. I don't know what I had to say, but it much have been something. I have noticed that the more I am posting, the easier it is for me to write and to want to right. There are still times that I stress over posting certain things because I worry what people will think. And then I am getting to the point and just saying, "Fuck it," and posting anyway.

Sound like shit

It is so sad the way that I sound. I squeak, I cut out, I sound nothing close to normal at all. It all started Friday night. I was having a couple beers with a friend and the longer that I sat there, the more my voice would start to change and I would squeak. By the time we left, I sounded terrible and it just hasn't gotten any better. It's not that I feel bad because I really don't feel to bad. It's more that I sound absolutely yucky and now I am starting to cough. I am very curious how long this is going to last. It's already been 3 days! Eli says its hot. I don't understand how the hell that could be though!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Picture Meme

We were all tagged by Patty for this Meme. So fun and such a good idea.

1) Age at next birthday:
2) Place of Birth:

3) Place I want to Visit:

4) Nickname:

5) Favorite Place:

6) My Favorite Things:

7) Favorite Food:

8) Favorite Color:

Thursday, November 29, 2007

So Spoiled!!!!

That's right, I got someone to bring me Taco Bell. My little belly is now super satisfied...even if I am a fat ass for eating it!

Very Tired Today

This just goes to show you how laid back I really am:

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl
You can't be restricted by shoes for very long
And unsurprisingly, the same goes for men
Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

I found this one amusing:

What Guys Think of Your Long Straight Hair...

Sexy, desirable, and hard to please.
A girl who's so stunning that you've got them lined up around the block!

This is true for the most part. It didn't take me long to fall in love with Eli though!

You Follow Your Head

You're rational, collected, and logical.
Generally, it takes you quite a while to fall in love.
In fact, you've even been accused of being very picky.
While you're cool, you're not ice cold.
You just know what you want, and don't mind waiting to get it.

Ugh, this day is dragging and I am just ready to go home and go to sleep. I am definitely a tired kid.

Absolutely Starving!!!!!!!!

I am not joking. I didn't eat last night. Was busy until late and then didn't want to eat late because it is so bad for you. So now I am sitting here at my desk feeling like I am going to puke because I am so hungry. And the only thing that sounds good to me = Taco Bell. I know, I am weird, but seriously, that is all that my belly is telling me that it wants. It's only 10:45am people!!!!! I tried eating some wheat thins and peanut butter, but that didn't taste good at all and I still just want the shit food. :(

Only 3%

This makes me want to travel more and see more things! Guess I better start saving up.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's Turning

Yep, it's definitely turning into a long day. The morning went by rather fast. I was awake and happy and things were just moving right along. Now that afternoon has come, I am starting to slow down and not be so awake and get a little sleepy. I am however still very happy. But the rest...definitely fading. I could easily curl up in a little ball and just take a little nap. Maybe it being quiet around the office isn't helping much. Who knows.

I still have a sore throat. This morning it felt worse than it was yesterday, but it is alright right now. Other than that, but my neck is really starting to hurt me again. Those injections I got this last time didn't last near as long as the other time. I just got some pain pills yesterday and they are starting the process and paperwork in order to get me an epidural. The doctor is saying that is the only other option I have right now other than surgery and my doctor says I am too young for that. Not to mention, the thought of surgery scares the shit out of me. But then again, so does the epidural. I just need to do something though because I get so agitated, irritated, and cranky when my neck and back are hurting me. I shouldn't have to feel like this. Stupid lady that hit me!!

Oh and right before Eli and I went on our cruise, I had to do a deposition for the accident. There were a ton of questions that they asked that were so over the top and stupid. So much of it didn't relate to the accident at all. And they really got stuck on the fact that I used to play volleyball. They asked if I had ever been injured and I told them no. Cause truthfully, I never got hurt playing. Then I was asked if I ever got a bruise. I said yes and that turned into me and some crazy attorney telling me that a bruise is an injury and when you dive you and "throwing" yourself on the floor and hurting your body and so on. Oh this lady had no clue what she was talking about and I just wanted to scream at her. But I couldn't and I didn't. Turns out, they sent my medical records to a doctor and after he "reviewed" them he determined that my injuries I have an all my pain are "SPORTS RELATED". That's no joke. Such an idiot. That doesn't matter though in my situation cause that doctor has never seen me and is no where near as credible as my doctor. So that's where I'm at for now.

Two Good Nights

The last two nights have been such great nights - sleep wise. I have slept so great and not only that, Eli has been super cuddly. The night before last, he literally wouldn't let go of me. I later found out that he was having bad dreams and just wanted to be close, but it was such a great feeling to have him right there. There was no moving away from him at all. He is so cute some times. Then last night, I would try to roll away and he would reach out and grab me and pull me back to him. It was so cute and so nice and just made me love him that much more.

What was even better is before he has left the last couple morning he has just come and grabbed me and held me and kissed me. Such a sweetie I tell you. And it just starts my day off so good. Everyone at work has mentioned how happy I am. It's such a great feeling. I am definitely a lucky girl.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Wasting Time

I think I might be getting sick again. I don't know what is going on. I know there are tons of different little bugs going around, but I just don't want it. When we went to bed last night, I noticed that my throat was a little tight and then a couple times during the night I woke up and it was a little sore. And today, it has been bothering me just a little. Ugh. At least I wasn't sick for Thanksgiving. Maybe I caught something from the kids. Little Seth had a stuffy nose on Friday that lasted through the weekend and poor little Swae was coughing. I felt so bad for them. I don't like when they are sick.

Hopefully I am able to fight it.

In other news, was in another office all morning training on a different job. I find it to be something that is easy to pick up and catch on to. Things that have only been shown to me one time I am able to do on my own the next time they come around. It is really nice learning something new. Plus it is nice just being in a different office and a different environment.

So, it's been a good day. It's gone by fairly fast and I was able to go have lunch with my honey...always a treat. What's even better is that we have the kiddos tonight. Always something to look forward to and put a smile on my face.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Weekend Recap

It was a GREAT first Thanksgiving with my "new" family. I seriously had such a great time. And I think that Eli and the kids did too. We love each and every time we have the kids with us. We had to have the kiddos to their mom at 3:30 on Thanksgiving, but were able to do "dinner" with them while we had them. I swear they are the cutest things ever. Seth is such a ham when he is eating. Oh how I love them. After we dropped them off, it was off to spend the evening with my whole family. It was really a nice time. It is so amazing to me all the food that we have since my family is so big (there were over 30 people there). The table was insanely filled with food. I wish I had a picture of it to show...and that wasn't even dessert or appetizers.

Friday we got up, did some cleaning and before we knew it, we were off to get the kids to spend our weekend with them. We were super lucky and got to get them at 1pm, so we had a good portion of Friday with them instead of just the evening. The rest of the weekend was jam packed. We literally did something every day. It was a lot of family time and a lot of fun for the kids.

It was so nice all of us being together. I am seriously one lucky girl.

Meme - Suspicion

Shannon tagged me for a meme. Things that make me suspicious. This really isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I would have written it last week, but I just couldn't really come up with anything.

*whispering - I hate it. It fucks with my head. Even if I know that without a shadow of a doubt I am not being talked about, I still think that I am missing's so weird.
*closed doors - what is going on behind them, being said
*stuffing - it just looks like shit and doesn't seem right. I seriously can't eat it. Plus I hate mushy stuff. YUCK
*I can't sleep if other people are awake. I feel like I might miss out on something.
*where the hell all my money goes. seems my check disappears as soon as I freaking get it.

Damn this is so not easy. Ummm....

I really am going to have to think on this more. But in the mean time, I tag Jen, Angie, Megan, Babba, and Patty.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. And love the fact that I get to spend most of my day with the kiddos and Eli. I couldn't think of anything better. Then, after we drop them off to their mom, we get to go eat a bunch of yummy food with my family. It's going to be a great time. Then we get the kids all weekend and have all sorts of fun stuff on the agenda. I am so lucky to have such greatness and happiness in my life.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and long weekend. Don't eat too much!!!

Missing Comment

Shannon and Jen - trust me, I wish I still had that comment too because I really think you would have been as amused as me. I just wanted to be able to add what I wrote this morning before having it up there, and stupid yahoo deleted my trash on my email. Sorry girls. Next time I will leave it in the inbox so this doesn't happen.

Oh and Jen, your comment was funny shit. Thanks!!! :)

Just A Girl

Unfortunately, your comment is lost that you left yesterday. I wanted to comment on it before just allowing it to sit on my blog, but somehow it is even deleted out of my email. Anyhow, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to come and visit my blog and taking the time to comment, even if negatively. The fact that you posted the comment on a blog that was talking about good things in life and were trying to bring me down seriously amuses me.

What have I done in the last year to do anything bad in my life??? In the last year I have done nothing but improve my life - get rid of negative people, good jobs, good friends, and awesome boyfriend and the big bonus two wonderful kids. Yep, I am a horrible person.

I just wanted to say that if you think that your negative and vague comments are going to bring me down or upset me or even affect my life at all, you have another thing coming. If anything, it makes me stronger and makes me realize how many sad, negative, and immature so many people are in this world.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Super Thankful

* family
* my honey and his two precious kiddos
* for all the good in my life
* for it being Friday
* for next week being a short week
* and then 4 days off
* having lunch with my honey today (always helps with a smile)
* getting to meet baby Codi after work!!!
* oh, and seeing Shannon too (ha, kidding)
* that my day is almost over
* that I get to drink tonight
* my lovely friends
* all you lovely bloggers/readers

Thursday, November 15, 2007

YAY Shannon!!!!!

I will be thinking about you in the morning! I can't believe that you are going to have a baby tomorrow morning. I am so very excited for you and will be sure to call/text (hopefully you answer) so that I can stop by and see you guys either on my lunch or right after work...if you are up to it!!!!!

Good luck with the shaving and all that crap and I hope you get a little bit of sleep (yes, I know, that is a stretch!).

I still can't get over the fact that Codi is getting welcomed into the world tomorrow!!!!!!!! =)


And not for lack of eating. I have eaten two slices of cinnamon raisin toast, a lean cuisine, a slice of cheese, and not moving on to crackers with peanut butter on them! I swear it is like my stomach is endless! I could just eat everything right now. I think I am going to try drinking a few glasses of water to help satisfy this annoying feeling. Maybe some juice, maybe something...anything. Something has to help at this point.

And no, I am not pregnant ASSHOLES! ;)

Bee Movie

It is so freaking cute. It really is. I really enjoyed watching it. I loved that there was a lot of adult humor in it. The kids really liked it too. So, if anyone is looking for something fun to do, go see it!


It is so cold in my office. You would think that since we are in charge or making everyone else warm or cooler, that our office would be a steady temperature. Um, no. Not so much. Instead I have to sit here at my desk working wearing a damn jacket. How the hell does that happen!?!?!?!

Not even my hot coffee is helping warm me up!

Angie Tagged Me

4 dishes I like to cook:
1) spaghetti
2) taco's
3) chicken broccoli casserole
4) fettuccine alfredo

4 qualities I love in people:
1) honesty
2) sense of humor
3) good hearted
4) loyalty

4 places I have been:
1) Cabo
2) Florida
3) Texas
4) Colorado

4 things in my room:
1) bed
2) dresser
3) clothes
4) gun under bed (Eli's)

4 dirty words I like:
1) shit
2) fuck
3) jerk face
4) asshole!

And there is no one left to tag. So it ends with me! :)

Know what I hate?????

When you expect your night to go one way and then it goes the exact opposite. I really do. I was so looking forward to my night last night and then so many things came up and went the complete other way that I thought that they would. No, we weren't fighting or anything, it just didn't turn out like I expected. And you are always let down when things go other than how you thought they would. At least that is how it is for me.

Oh well. Today is a new day.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Not Feeling It

One night last week, Eli and I were doing who knows what and something got brought up about weight and he just so happened to tell me I am losing weight and my butt is getting smaller. First of all, I don't feel any different. I don't feel smaller, don't feel like I have lost weight (don't have a scale to weigh myself), nothing seems to be fitting any different. I feel just the same as always. Not to mention, my jeans still fit pretty snug on my ass. So I doubt that is where I would lose it from. I don't think my ass has ever gotten smaller. That has always been a constant which is good since I have ZERO boobs.

Anyhow, while we were at my parents house on Saturday, my sister pipes up, "have you lost weight?" Um, does it look like it because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it! My sister is so cute though. She is always telling me how good I look and so on. It makes me feel good, but I never know if she is being honest or not.

Whatever it is, they must be seeing something completely different than me!!!

First Award!!!!

I have been awarded by Patty! My very first one. I feel so special. What a great way to start my day! Thanks girl!!! I feel very privileged. Since reading Patty, I have learned so much and have found someone that I have a lot in common with. She is such a wonderful, caring, big hearted person. I have gained a friend and am truly inspired by her and love so much the advice she gives me and the kind words that she shares.

Shameless says: Those people I've given this award to are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honour, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc etc. Let's send a roar through the blogosphere!

The 3 things I think are necessary for writing are:

1) Honesty - you have to be able to be honest about things that are happening in your life and be able to share that with others and not censor it just for your readers. You need to be able to accept all that happens in your life and be able to share freely. I have found through my blog that I am able to be a more honest person and not try to hide the things that go on just so that people don't judge me. Judge me or not, I am who I am.

2) Humor - I find there are so many things that go on in my life that make me laugh and I just hope that by writing, I am able to bring a smile to other people's faces. Without laughter, life wouldn't be all that fun at all. It is healthy to laugh at yourself and it's nice to find humor when reading other people.

3) Openness - the more open you are, the more people are able to connect with you and enjoy reading what you write. They are able to relate, emphasize, and sympathize. Not to mention, you are viewed as a real person that not only has good times, but their fair share of bad times.

Now I get to hit 5 people:

1) Jen from Lost in Translation - she is a wonderful person and I enjoy reading her all the time. The way that she expresses herself is unlike anyone else I have ever read. I love reading about all her past experiences and even more enjoy reading about her life as it is happening.

2) Angie from Faith Trust and Pixie Dust - a new friend and someone that always has something positive to say no matter how shitty my situation. She just got engaged and her posts have been great to read. I am looking forward to all the wedding planning.

3) Megan from Yellow Polka Dotted Slugs - I enjoy reading Megan. She is someone that is so heartfelt and loves her family and friends so much. She shows so much compassion in her writing and I love it. Plus, she takes awesome pictures!! :)

4) Lindsey from Adventures of Lindz, in high heels of course - I really enjoy reading her writing. I love the way that she expresses herself and I welcome all advice and comments that come from her.

5) Babba from Babba Unknown - She has had a lot going on in her life and the fact that she is opening up and willing to share her story is very respectable. I am so happy that she is getting her life back on track and all is going well.

Friday, November 9, 2007

I thought I was doing better

Yes, I woke up this morning after sleeping all afternoon, taking meds and passing out all night and sleeping so well feeling a little better. I don't feel 100%, but I also don't feel like I just can't make it through the day. I got ready and got to work and my boss took one look at me and told me that I still didn't look good...that I look like shit. She is so nice! I didn't know that I didn't look good. She explained that she could just tell by looking at me that I still don't feel the greatest. It was funny. If I didn't like her or have the relationship I do with her, I would have definitely taken the comment personal.

Oh and the sweetest thing was, I got to work and right on my desk was a box of DayQuil pills. My co-worker, she is so cute, got them for me on her way to work to help me get through the day. How thoughtful huh?? I thought so. I took a couple, but they really don't seem to be making much of a difference. I will take a couple more here in a little bit and hope that helps.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


I am still feeling like super shit today. So much shit. I feel so bad and am so miserable, that I think I am going to leave work and go home for the rest of the day. The thought of a nap...being curled up wiht my blanket in my comfy sweats and sweatshirt. Yes, definitely better than sitting here at work and dying.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


Still. I am so over being sick and not being able to breath like a normal person out my nose. I am tired of talking funny and tired of sneezing. I have been sneezing all damn day!!!! I just hope that I am able to kick this cold soon because I am more than over it.

Oh and do I have a rant that I will be posting on the Hidden Blog about something that happened last night...and no, nothing to do with Eli, the kids, or anything like that. It's something else and I would really like some advice on what to do or how to think because right now, I am left feeling...very...deflated on the situation. Everything else is great though, other than being sick.

Ok, back to work!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Today is Definitely...

No better than yesterday. Shit. There really isn't anything to be done. I have been caught up for almost three hours. Just makes for such a long day. And you sit here thinking about all the other stuff that you could be doing instead of sitting at work with absolutely nothing to do. Oh well, I am getting paid.

On another note, I am going to get my hair done this afternoon. This will be the first time since before I went to Cabo. That was in April. Yea, that long ago. I am so not good at keeping up with that kind of thing. I am lucky to keep up with my nails...that happen to look like super shit right now! Oh well, what can you do.

Let's see, what else? I am caught up on every one's blogs. All bills are paid. Yep, there is really nothing else and nothing to do. BLAH!

Monday, November 5, 2007

F-ing SLOW!

I wish I had more to write about since I am sitting here at work bored out of my mind and have absolutely nothing at all to do. But no! I only have stuff to write and talk about on the days when I am so busy and have zero time to write and tell all. Then by the time I have time to write, half the shit I wanted to talk about I can't even remember and makes no sense anyway.

So instead, I catch up on every one's blogs and am left bored again and nothing to do. I even came to work late and left for a long lunch. And it didn't help at all. Why does work have to be so slow right now????

Stupid Cold!

I have managed not to get sick for so long and this weekend a cold finally hit me. My throat started hurting on Saturday night. It was ok yesterday, just a little scratchy. Then, last night when I went to bed, it got bad. It hurt so much and would get so dry sleeping that I couldn't even swallow when I tried, which by the way is freaky! Oh well. I haven't had this for a while and hopefully it will go away soon. I can stick it out!

Had a good, relaxing weekend. We didn't really do much other than some grocery shopping, cleaning, stuff around the house. But it was all stuff that needed to be done and we were able to spend some down time together rather than always being on the go. It was nice.

Oh! We went to see Saw IV Saturday night. Holy SHIT! I don't know what I was expecting, but I sure wasn't expecting what we saw. Now I can't wait for them to hurry up and get on with another one so I can figure out more. It was nuts. For those who have weak stomachs or don't like scary movies, DON'T go see this movie. I have recently got into scary movies and I am hooked on all the Saw ones. This one way by far the worst yet as far as being scary and all the blood. I think I will need to watch it at least one other time because I am sure there are some hidden messages that I missed. Such a good movie!

Friday, November 2, 2007

So, I just realized that I sucked ass at blogging last month. Absolutely pathetic. It is only the second day of the month and I am almost at half the posts that I posted last month.

I'm a shit. No wonder all you were ripping my ass! I deserved it!!!


My sister drew her first deer tag this year. She was so excited. I come from a family of hunters. Everyone hunts and even the young girls are getting into it. My cousin who is a year younger than my sister got her second deer this year. My sister has always gone on the hunts, but has never put in for her own tag for the first time and was lucky enough to draw. She spent hours and hours practicing shooting. And let me tell you, that girl is a good shot.

We went two weeks ago...the weekend of the 19th. My parents and her left early Thursday morning with my grandpa. I didn't go til Friday morning because I didn't want to take too much time off work. Her tag was in the Rubies which are right outside Elko. I have never been there before, but have heard how gorgeous it is from Kylen because his family has a house there. So finally, I got my chance to go. I rode there with my aunt, uncle, and cousin. It was a long drive, but once there, it was all worth it.

This is what I saw when we got there Friday night looking over Ruby Valley. It was so beautiful!

Another angle of the valley from where we were staying.

Here is my dad and my papa going over hunting tactics. My dad is my favorite person ever and my papa is awesome! He is so smart when it comes to hunting since he has been doing it so long that you learn so much from him.

Here is my mom and my aunt doing breakfast dishes after the morning hunt.

Me and my papa getting ready to go up on the hill to spot for my sister. We saw a crazy amount of deer!

Oh yes, that is snow that you see. It snowed off and on ALL damn day on Saturday. It was crazy insane. But oh so beautiful seeing it up on the mountains and the way it made the valley look.

My uncle and papa...always talking hunting. It's so funny to be around these guys on hunting trips.

Here is the sunset from Saturday night. It is pretty, but not as pretty as how it really was standing outside, not seeing it as a picture. (Megan, you were my inspiration on my scenery pictures)

And this is the mountain Sunday morning after the snow on Saturday. Oh so freaking beautiful!!! I would love to have a place in the Rubies. This place was literally breath taking in so many ways. To look at this picture and then know first hand how many animals are up there and around there is just amazing. The experience was awesome.

Here is my beautiful sister. She didn't get her deer. I felt so bad for her because she cried and felt like a failure. This was a hard area for her to hunt. There were so many hunters in the area and they screwed up EVERY situation for her. Not to mention, she is short and to stand and shoot and get a good shot with there being brush...not gonna happen. But she had fun and she learned a lot. I was so thankful I was able to be there with her. She is such an amazing person and a great sister. I just love her!

Dad and Uncle Mike cleaning stuff up before we head home. That house (doesn't even show half of it), is where we stayed.

Another view of the valley before we left for home.

The trip was amazing. I love spending time with my family. And I love to be outdoors. I so love beautiful places. I wish I would have got better pictures of how many different colors there were on the mountains with all the changing leaves. It was so serene that you could just sit outside, even with it being freezing and just look at your surrounding. The time away came at a much needed time and is something I will keep with me forever.

Crazy Dream

I can't believe I am actually sharing this on my blog, but here it goes. And no, its not sexual. So don't get your hopes up.

I don't really remember how the dream started, but what I do remember was being pregnant...very much pregnant. Big, cute belly and all. I remember having all the feelings that I read that Jen and Shannon have and everything. The dream was SO FREAKING REAL! I remember going to the hospital to deliver and they did an ultrasound and told me that I wasn't going to be able to deliver natural because the sweet baby inside me had the cord wrapped around her neck and was holding onto it. I remember this plain as day! So, c-section it was. I wasn't worried about anything other than having a scar. I know that in real life, the scar isn't big, but in my dream the scar was HUGE and it freaked me out bad. But the result...a beautiful baby girl. I'm not lying, she was gorgeous. Dark hair and just perfect in all aspects that a baby could be.

This isn't where the dream ended though. I was a mom for quite a while.

Then, I woke up. And I was like, "what the fuck was that all about???" Then forced myself to go back to sleep. Normally when I do this, I don't remember my dreams, which is probably why I don't remember the very beginning or the end that much. But the middle, plain as day I tell you. It was one of the most real dreams I have ever had in my life. It was insane.

So yea, not to sure why I would have such a dream like that. But I do know, it was a little random and a little weird. But the baby...oh so freaking cute!

Makes Zero Sense

I am dragging my ass with tiredness. And there really is no excuse for it. I'm not pregnant, I didn't go to bed late, I am not hung over...nothing. In fact, my old ass went to be at 9pm. Yep that's right 9pm and I am still tired today. It just doesn't make much sense to me really. I realize I got up at 4:45am, but that is still a good amount of sleep to be getting. But NNNOOOOOOOOO, I get to still drag ass and wait for the day to be over and day dream about taking a lovely nap that I would so love! That and get all my shit done so that I can post more. I had the craziest dream the other night and I want to share it. It weirds me out. So I am gonna go and get my work done and be back this afternoon to share my dream!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Wow...I'm Here Still!!!!

Not need to worry my little readers. I have had so much to tell and so little time to actually post. But I am alive, I am well, and life is great.

Last week was a busy one for me, even with it being a short week. I felt like I had stuff going every day and just so little time to take and do anything that I wanted to or needed to.

On Wednesday my best friends and I hosted a Body Shop party. I went straight over there after work and helped get all the food and drinks ready. Our party turned out so well. We had over $700 dollars in sales and half the people that said they were going to come didn't. It was still so nice. We just laughed and tried out the new holiday line they have out right now. Kara made sure to have her house all decorated for Halloween and we had a yummy drink...something with apple cider and tuaca. It was just nice and relaxing and nice being around friends and of course pampering yourself.

Friday night I went with my boss and her husband to the Sugarland concert. I am so excited I went. I almost didn't buy the tickets, but did last minute. I went over to my boss's house to hang out before the concert and have some snacks and a couple drinks. The concert was awesome. I had so much fun...even with Kasey and Kelly making sure to talk shit and be annoying. It is just so amusing to me that they can't just get over how things have turned out and mind their business. It was nice that they didn't start anything. Just ran their mouths, which can't hurt me. Words are nothing.

I had a wonderful weekend just relaxing and spending time with the kids and Eli. Sunday we went to the pumpkin patch which was a great time. I will have to upload some pictures for all of you.

Ok, that's all for now. I will update the Hidden Blog as well because I do have more to say. No more whining now Jen. I will be better about posting! :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


I have been going to some volleyball matches the past couple weeks...volleyball is my passion and I love watching it. Coaching and playing are just as fun. I have seen all my girls that I used to coach and it really has just been a great time. I miss coaching, but I don't miss the stress nor the hours that it takes out of my life for months at a time. Tonight is senior night up at McQueen and I am going to go and surprise my old team and be there for them. Right now they are first in their league and just playing awesome.

I am really looking forward to going. And I think I am going for a couple beers after. Can't beat that!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My Little Boo

I can't get over just how grown up my baby sister is getting. She isn't a baby any longer, but it seems as though she should be. I still am in shock that she is a junior in high school. The girl is absolutely gorgeous. She is smart, has a good personality, is a great friend and sister. I honestly couldn't ask for anything more from her. I remember when she was little and she used to drive me crazy and even being 9 years apart, we would fight all the damn time. Well my mom always said, "You guys are going to be great friends one day." I never believed her. I figured YEA RIGHT! The little shit drove me crazy. Always getting into my stuff, following me around and had to do EVERYTHING that I did.

But here we are today and we are the best of friends. She tells me anything and everything and I can talk to her about most things too - I do keep in mind that she is my 'little' sister and there are some things she shouldn't hear, wouldn't understand, and just aren't appropriate. She is always there for me. She calls me daily just to tell me she loves me and see how my day is. She really is the sweetest thing and I can't get over how wonderful she is and how much I love her!

Friday, October 12, 2007

My Poor Grams

My great-grandma is almost 90 years old and last Friday she fell and broke her hip. For the last year she has been hospitalized for congestive heart failure and has been struggling staying healthy and strong. So this was something that is just not so good. She was completely drugged up on morphine the first couple days she was in the hospital. The doctors knew they would have to do surgery on her, but had to wait to make sure her heart was strong enough and she would make it through the surgery.

Surgery came and she did well. Doctors were proud of how good it went and said that now it was just a matter of making sure she doesn't get blood clots and then of course, rehab. Well, I got the call this morning that she took a turn for the worse and developed a blood clot. So right now she is on super-duper blood thinners and is requiring a ton of rest. It just breaks my heart. My grams is the sweetest, most lovable woman ever. I just want to squeeze her. They don't want anyone visiting her really because she needs her rest and they can't take the risk of her possibly getting sick. They don't want anything weakening her system. I hate the thought of her laying in a hospital bed and hurting.

All this has really stressed out my Papa. He adores his mom and is always doing everything that he can for her. Her fall happened while he was out hunting and he didn't take the news of what happened so well when he got home. He is the type of person who is constantly worrying about things and stresses over everything, so with this he has been very upset and not getting much sleep. This of course wears on my Grammie because she absorbs all his moods. Last night she got up to do something and her foot was asleep and she isn't really sure what she did, but she must have stopped wrong or something because she hurt her foot so bad that she can't even walk on it. So her and my Papa spent a good amount of time in the ER.

It is all just so sad. My heart goes out to my family right now. I pray so much for my grams to be strong and pull through and stay healthy. And I hope that my Grammie's foot gets better. Oh and for my Papa to get rest so he doesn't end up making himself sick - that really worries me.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Pretty Amused

As you know, my relationship with Eli isn't liked by all. I think the only people that have a problem with it are his ex and her family. This isn't something that has bothered us or even become a factor in our relationship. We got into our relationship knowing that his ex and her sister would try to cause problems, but decided not to let them keep us from being together. As all my readers know, they did cause drama in July. Although Eli and I went through a shitty couple of weeks, we are now stronger because of it and closer than ever. So many good things have happened in our life and there are more coming.

I had a huge feeling that something was going to happen as I expressed here. I couldn't have been more right. It seems that I guess things for him and I were going to good that now his ex felt the need to "stick it to him" or something. I understand and have been fully aware of the agreements made by them since I was friends with her at the time of the divorce, so I am fully aware of what he is responsible for. What I don't understand some of the money she is asking from him. It actually blew my mind when I read the letter that she handed him Tuesday night when we dropped the kids off and was amusing. It is like she is "reaching". I am not sure what is trying to be proved or why it is being brought up now, but whatever. The only thing that I can think of is that she is jealous and having a hard time with us being a couple still and how well things are going. I would be surprised if she found out a couple things that I have written on the other blog and that is what sparked it. Whatever it is, it really doesn't matter. Once again, something that like made us stronger. It brought us closer together. So really, rather than being slightly annoyed, I should be thankful. Because really, it is stuff that like that truly make our bond tighter.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I am so spoiled at my job, I really am. I have always been the princess around my job and was very much reminded of that this morning when I walked in and saw the following posted up for me!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

To add to my loopiness...!

It isn't even fucking 2:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This day is going by so slow! It really feels like the day should be long over. :( Guess it is just what it is after the night I had.


Loopy Today

I don't know what the hell went on last night, but I think last night was one of the worst night sleep that I have ever had. Eli and I were of course very busy after work until after 8:00 and then we still had a couple things to take care of, including eating dinner. By the time we sat down, it was well after 9:00 and all I could think of was crawling in bed and laying my head on my pillow. Somehow I managed to keep my little peepers open til almost 10:00 and I excitedly went to bed...only to fucking lay there wide awake. I don't know what it was. I was so exhausted and yet, sleep wouldn't come. I guess it could have been that there is a lot to think about and that is on my mind, but still. You would think that after falling asleep and being so tired I would have slept like a baby all night.


I was awake every damn hour for the rest of the night. It was such bullshit. I was up at two different times because I couldn't get comfortable and was tossing and turning and didn't want to wake up Eli. It was so annoying that I almost started crying. Come 4:00am, I started wondering what the use of even trying to get some sleep was. I did however get my best sleep after that and until the alarm went off for Eli to get up. I have been awake since then. In fact, I was even to work 45 minutes early because I couldn't go back to sleep. Now I am sitting here tired, but even now, I don't know that I could sleep.

What the hell is going on with me??? I love my sleep so much, it sucks when I don't get any and I don't sleep good. The good thing is, I am not cranky.

Monday, October 8, 2007

It's Like Christmas!

But it is only October. I just got a new computer at work. It is so nice. They installed Windows '07 and I got a bigger screen. Lucky me. Not only that, I have no work to do so I get to screw off and play with it and even catch up on blogs. Yay me.

Got lots of personal stuff to do this excited, but so stressful. It will all be worth it in the end. Other than that, everything is wonderful...other than my mom having serious issues letting go. Ugh, that is a whole other story in itself.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Finally Caught Up

I can't believe how long it took me since being gone to get caught up. My goodness. A week and a half. Oh well. I was busy while doing and now I will have all sorts of down time to get caught up on reading blogs and posting some of my own.

The weekend did turn out to be very nice. The only downfall was Eli being sick, but we made the most of it. This week has been crazy for me so far and I don't even know why. I just feel like there is so much to do and I haven't had time to do it. With the pile that I had on my desk, I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere or making any progress. But now that it is gone, I am feeling a little bit more relieved.

So many crazy things are going on...people being sick, my friends sister over dosing on pills. When I heard the news of their sister being in the hospital and what had happened, I couldn't even believe it. I know that she was going through a rough time, but I can't believe that should would try to kill herself. Long story short, their sister had been cheating on her husband. Well over the weekend, her husband actually caught her in the act of cheating and told her that she wanted a divorce and it set her over the deep end and she took a bunch of pills. She made sure to wait til the pills were absorbed enough before admitting that she needed to go to the doctor. She is now in the hospital and for the last three days her liver hasn't been functioning at all. It is so bad that they already got her qualified for a liver transplant, but that takes time and they have to get her stable. So the girls flew out this morning to go be with her. My heart breaks for how them and their family must be feeling and their poor sister. Just so crazy that this happened.