It is really crazy how people come in and out of your life. I am usually left wondering, I wonder what the purpose of that was. There are times when I realize, huh, they did this for me or I was able to do this for them. It is when I can put meaning on the 'relationship' that there was that I feel like there really was some sort of importance and the time wasn't wasted. I am not just talking about relationships with guys, I am talking about friendships as well. I have my few close friends, my best friends, and then I have many other friends, acquaintances. I care for all the people that I allow in my life and truly try to do right by all of them. I have had friendships end and instead of feeling sad, I always find the bright side in it.
A friendship of mine ended. I think it started coming to an end a couple weeks ago, but it literally died over the weekend. I can't say that I am sad because I would be lying. In fact, I know that it is truly for the best. Do I hate this person? No. We are just both very different and definitely see most everything opposite of each other. I am thankful for her for one thing where she is concerned - pushing me at the right moment back in May to send a text message that ended up changing my life for the better. Aside from that, there really wasn't much more to our 'relationship'.
Saturday night we spent Eli's birthday at Coconut Bowl. Everyone knows that he goes there for his birthday and my friends knew that is what we were planning (since August). The fact that his ex, who I was friends with was there, was a bit odd to me. I let it go because our night was going so well that we weren't going to let anyone get us down. We had the private bowling area reserved, but only for two hours, so after our friends moved over to be closer to the jungle gym since that is where the kids were anyway. Well the table they picked was close to where his ex was sitting. They picked the table, not us. They didn't know who the other people were nor did they care. They wanted to be close to where the kids come in and out so we could all keep an eye on the kids playing. His ex wasn't at the table when we got over to where everyone was at. I actually was at the table before Eli was. And it was then that his exes mom started shouting my name. I went over and said hi and it was then that she started making inappropriate comments. I smiled and shrugged it off. Well, when Eli came over to our table, she started shouting his name. Him, trying to be nice, went over to say hi to her. Not because he likes her because truthfully he can't stand her and has never had a kind thing to say about her (or anyone else in the family), but to be nice. He was in a great mood, it was his birthday, and he didn't want problems.
I am not sure what was said while he was over there, but he came back irritated. I guess she was making inappropriate comments to him as well and he doesn't put up with shit like that at all. And I don't blame him at all. We were minding our own business and enjoying the time with our friends while the kids played and that is when things escalated. We were informed by one of the people at our table that his exes mom was taking pictures of us. So Eli picked up the phone and did the same back and told her to grow up. My back was to the other table, so I have no idea what sent him over the edge, but he was done. He was done with all the nonsense bullshit that had ever arose from dating his ex. Her mom came over and was saying stuff to him, he was saying things back. Was he drunk? Nope, quite the opposite. He isn't stupid. We had the kids and he doesn't get drunk when we have them. He was pissed. He was pissed for the things his ex has done to me or said to me, for judging where his kids are concerned (no one messes with his kids), and the fact they wouldn't just let us be. Her mom came over and was trying to show him the camera to say she wasn't taking pictures of us, but he didn't want to see it and he kept telling her that and she kept insisting.
Due to the pushing, he finally let it all out. Everything that he had been wanting to say and had been holding back flowed out. Everything that he felt, thought, and never said, came out. The fact that I was even friends with his ex pissed him off to no extent. He absolutely despises her, loathes her, and literally has never said one kind word about her. I don't know exactly what happened between the two of them and truthfully, I could care less. It was many years ago and the fact that it seems to still be something that her and her family can't let go is quite sad. Yes, he said mean things to them. Do I blame him? Not so much. I was honestly shocked with how her mom kept pushing and the ugly, nasty things that came out of her mouth. It wasn't like we just sat down and then he flipped out. He was pushed to the limit and now it is all said and done.
I would never, ever forgive my mother for acting like that. If my mom ever got involved in my business like that and said the things that hers did, I would be mortified. And seriously, who on Earth goes up to someone and tries to make bets on how long a relationship is going to last? Yep, her mom. It wasn't until she made that comment to Eli about not putting a $100 on us lasting, that he told her that she was trailer trash, garbage, and to go back to the trailer park.
As all this was unfolding, I realized that it was far past the time that I should have let that friendship go. It was long over due. I realized that I have a great guy that is willing to stick up for his family - his kids and me and that he isn't going to let someone try to screw with us. After all was said and done, he just looked and me and told me how much he loved me and it was then I knew that I am a better person being with him. I am not meaner, bitchier, or weaker. In fact, I am stronger, I don't let the little things get to me, I don't let other people affect me. I am nice to those that are nice to me and are true friends. I am a bitch when it suits as are most other people. It is quite sad that someone that was a friend has used everything that was shared during our friendship to try to hurt me and our relationship.
I am thankful that Saturday night happened. I have been looking for an out in that 'relationship' for awhile and it just made it simple and easy and like I said before, it should have been done a long time ago. I don't need someone in my life that is constantly going to judge and ridicule me nor someone that sits and just waits to see if my relationship will unfold. Saturday night brought Eli and I closer than we were even earlier that day. I love him more and more each day and always will.
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