Selfishness

I had every intention of blogging about my adventures playing Bunco with Eli's mom last night, but right now, it isn't going to happen. I have something for my important that my fun last night weighing on my mind.

Right now, I am beyond shocked. This post is probably going to be very scattered because that is exactly how my thoughts and feelings are at this point. First of all, I have to point out that my boyfriend is a wonderful father. He does anything and everything that he can for those kids. He is caring, loving, protective, and cherishes the time that he does get to spend with them. He craves more time with them since the time that he does have is limited. Any time that he has the opportunity to have them extra, he jumps on it no matter what else is going on. Those children are his prized possessions. He loves them more than anything else in this world and it is so very clear to see every time they are with him/us. And it is clear to see just how much they love their daddy.

When I see how he is and how he is with the kids, I realize just how lucky is ex-wife is. There are so many other dad's out there that are deadbeat pieces of shit. They don't follow through wit h paying their child support, they come up with excuses not to see the kids, they don't do shit with them or pawn them off for someone else to take care of. I am very good friends with a woman who has two kids and divorced. She is lucky if her ex pays her child support. And on the rare occasion that he does, it is late or not the full amount. Not to mention he pays jack shit, but that is beside the point. Not only does the sorry ass not pay, but he also never sees his kids. He was supposed to have them for a little bit over the holiday's and didn't even bother calling to arrange a time to see them. There are so many guys like that out there and it is really sad for the kids that are involved.

You would think that a woman with kids, who is split from their father, would be happy that the father wants to be a part of the kids life. I understand that there could be a lot of negative feelings for the guy considering you aren't together, but to let your own personal feelings control the decisions that are made in regards to the kids is just a little out of line - in my opinion. I think that decisions should be based on the well being of the children. It should have nothing to do with anger, jealousy, hatred, hurt, or whatever other feeling is seething through your body. Because when a woman does make a decision that is strictly based on their own personal feelings and don't take into account the children and only to try to stick it to their ex, is down right selfish, vindictive and fucked up. It shows nothing more than jealousy. That and that the children are used as a means of control - which of course is something that you don't want to lose.

In the long run, it hurts the kids and that is the saddest thing ever. There is no need for it. If the dad was a jackass and didn't give a fuck about spending time with their kids, then I would say by all means don't do them any favors. But if there is a legit father out there that loves more than anything being with their kids and you are doing bitchy things, then you should really step back and check yourself. It really isn't worth it and I feel bad for anyone in such a situation.