Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Some Thoughts

With Skylar's arrival quickly approaching, there have been many things that have been going through my mind. There are so many different things that pass through my mind and none I have control over or will really know until she is actually here.

Right now around the house, I am Stephie. Eli and I both refer to me as this and the kids usually* do too. And it hit me the other day when I was talking to Skylar, that I am not Stephie. I am mommy. It was incredible the feeling that washed over me, the wave of emotion that I got when really thinking about it.

There is no doubt in my mind that I am a good mother to Swae and Seth. I don't try to replace their real mother, but when they are in our home and with Eli and I, I dote on them like I would if they were my own. I shower them with love and affection, the same way that I always dreamed of doing with my own children and will do with Skylar. I help make the rules, I help keeping them to follow them, I help discipline, I help with it all. I do everything that a 'mom' does. I just didn't give birth to them or nurse them. I know when they aren't feeling good, I have grown to know and pick up on their little cues that only parents would know and pick up on. This makes me feel wonderful and makes me feel like I really will be able to do it with Skylar.

I know that with Skylar, things are going to be much different. I was around Seth constantly for the first 6 months of his life and have been around my sister and all my cousins as well as babysat newborns for years. But even with all that, I know that life with a newborn, YOUR newborn is crazy, trying, difficult, yet wonderful and rewarding at the same time. I know that I have so much to learn, but I have confidence in myself to know that I will get the hang of it and do a good job. I will learn all Skylar's little cues. I will learn to distinguish between her cries. I will learn it all. And for this, I am excited. I am ready. I have always wanted to be a mom and have dreamed of it my entire life. I love babies, adore them, can't get enough of them. I can't get enough of Swae and Seth. I was made for this whole 'mommy' thing!

8 comments:

Jayla'sMommy said...

I think so too. You are such an amazing stepmom to Swae and Seth and I am sure you will be a wonderful mommy to Skylar :) Being a mom is not always easy but it is the most awarding and wonderful thing ever :) I was so scared and worried before Jayla was born because I had never really been around babies before but it all just came naturally as soon as she was born.

Danielle said...

You sound like a wonderful stepmom. Becoming a mom is such an adventure!

Christy said...

Being a mommy is hard, but it also beautiful and amazing. I can't wait until you get to experience your newborn baby girl.

~Billie~ said...

Aww! What a beautiful post. You sound like an amazing stepmom. Someone those kids are extremely lucky to have in their lives, and them in yours. But, the new mom experience is one that can not adequately be put into words.. all the different wonderful emotions. It's an amazing and unforgettable experience. I wish you the best of luck and hope you are getting the rest now, while you still can!

Megan said...

You are going to be an amazing Mom! Your post reminded me of Braelyn's unique little sound she makes when I am about to feed her. It is kinda like a laugh, but I think she is thinking "I know what is coming now YAY" It is great! I know you can't wait.

Jiff said...

You are definitely going to be an amazing mommy! And you're right... the realization that you're MOMMY now instead of Stephie is BIG. And there's no tip-toeing around to make sure you don't do anything to piss B.E.D. (email me if you don't know what that means) off. YOU are in charge!

Jeninacide said...

Haha- you know what is soo funny about the "mommy" thing? Ugh- Erick and I now refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy in the third person even when we aren't talking TO or ABOUT the baby!

OMG embarrassing!

angie said...

You are going to do a wonderful job when Skylar arrives!! Being a mommy just comes natural to you :)