With Skylar's arrival quickly approaching, there have been many things that have been going through my mind. There are so many different things that pass through my mind and none I have control over or will really know until she is actually here.
Right now around the house, I am Stephie. Eli and I both refer to me as this and the kids usually* do too. And it hit me the other day when I was talking to Skylar, that I am not Stephie. I am mommy. It was incredible the feeling that washed over me, the wave of emotion that I got when really thinking about it.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am a good mother to Swae and Seth. I don't try to replace their real mother, but when they are in our home and with Eli and I, I dote on them like I would if they were my own. I shower them with love and affection, the same way that I always dreamed of doing with my own children and will do with Skylar. I help make the rules, I help keeping them to follow them, I help discipline, I help with it all. I do everything that a 'mom' does. I just didn't give birth to them or nurse them. I know when they aren't feeling good, I have grown to know and pick up on their little cues that only parents would know and pick up on. This makes me feel wonderful and makes me feel like I really will be able to do it with Skylar.
I know that with Skylar, things are going to be much different. I was around Seth constantly for the first 6 months of his life and have been around my sister and all my cousins as well as babysat newborns for years. But even with all that, I know that life with a newborn, YOUR newborn is crazy, trying, difficult, yet wonderful and rewarding at the same time. I know that I have so much to learn, but I have confidence in myself to know that I will get the hang of it and do a good job. I will learn all Skylar's little cues. I will learn to distinguish between her cries. I will learn it all. And for this, I am excited. I am ready. I have always wanted to be a mom and have dreamed of it my entire life. I love babies, adore them, can't get enough of them. I can't get enough of Swae and Seth. I was made for this whole 'mommy' thing!