Struggling

I am sure this is going to be frustrating, but I have to get it out even if I can disclose all the information.

I was informed something last night that really is super sad for me (if it were to actually happen) and also for who it will affect...although there are benefits as well. Again sorry because I know it doesn't really make sense. Things are still so up in the air and there won't be any more clarification until after the weekend...but it is something that could affect so much if it actually happens. I feel guilty thinking about how the possible change will affect me when it will most certainly affect my friend's life and others...but it is so hard not to.

Right now, I am trying not to think about it. And I definitely can't really talk about it. When I do think about it, my eyes well up with tears...and they just happen to keep flowing down my cheeks. I have to admit that this is the hardest part of growing up, getting in a relationship, and living our lives. I am so anxious for answers and only hope my patience will help keep me strong and calm.

**I am ok and this is something that I will adjust to. It is just shocking. It isn't life or death or anything like that. Sorry for being so vague.**