I wasn't ever going to write this post, but then I saw that someone else was brave enough to write something similar and I figured I could be brave too.
See, things in my world while great have also been different on other levels. My family, our kids, this pregnancy, getting ready for the birth of our child are all great. Wonderful, couldn't be better. I am truly blessed and so very fortunate and I know this. I realize how lucky I am and am thankful every single day for everything that we have.
However, there are other things that have been kind of nagging at me. I have been missing my best friend that lives in Vegas like crazy. Things just aren't the same without her. I know I need to suck it up and get over it, but it really is hard when she was so much a part of my life and we did so much together all the time. It makes me feel like a part of me is missing. I am sad to be away from her, sad that she is missing things with my pregnancy and even more sad with the thought of her not being at the hospital when our baby girl is born. I just can't even imagine that...and yet, it is such a strong possibility that it will happen.
Then there are other people in my life that I feel things are just different with and that is something that has really been hard for me to swallow lately. I had some pretty strong relationships with a couple of the girls at work. For this I was happy because then I enjoyed coming to work. I enjoyed taking time out of my work day to chat and gossip and laugh and just enjoy. Lately though, something has changed and it very well could be me...I just don't know. All I know is that the chats don't happen. The popping into my office has stopped. The talks are very...generic, like something I would have with someone that I am not at all close to. It is so weird. I don't know what it is, but it is something that I notice and I notice it very much. I notice the little things like not getting a phone call when I am the only one at the office, or invited to go do something outside of work, or not getting a call back when I call on the weekend. None of this has gone unnoticed for me. Two weekends in a row I have been blown off and I am now at the point where I don't want to try anymore. My reaction to all this - sit in my office with my door mostly closed (also keeps it MUCH warmer) and keep to myself. I figure then I can't be disappointed or hurt. It just makes me sad when I know I have been and am still such a great friend to these people.
It makes me sad when people don't think about other people's feelings. I have done a lot of sitting back lately and watching how people interact with others and there have been many times when I have wanted to cry for someone else because I could only imagine how it would have made me feel if I were them. It is so amazing to me just how very selfish other people are.