Thursday, July 12, 2007

Enough is enough

I realize that there are people out there that don't like me and have a problem with me, but being down right mean and rude is just really uncalled for. I have never intentionally tried to hurt anyone or get at them. It seems whoever you are really wanted people to know about the STD that was given to me by someone that I was with for years and loved. Well, the secret is out. I used to be so upset when I first found out about this little thing that had now become a part of my life thinking that it would forever ruin me and keep me from being with anyone. Since I have had it, I have been with two people...yes, two people in two years. Both of them were fully aware of it and both of them still decided to be intimate with me. I am open about it because I know what it is like to live with it and I would not wish it on anyone...not even the people that are being down right mean right now.

I have never tried to take someone's boyfriend from them. That just isn't how I am. Yes, I have done some stupid things in the past, but that was in the past. And I know that I am not the same person that I was in high school or even two years ago. It bothers me to know that people have such issues that they would deliberately be vindictive and destructive to someone else. I would never do that to someone. Yes, I have formed my own opinions about people over the years of knowing them and events that have take place. People form their opinions about me. Two each his own. Judge me if you want, I don't care. I live my life with no regrets. I am able to lay my head on my pillow at night guilt free.

Kasey (if you are reading this), I never did half the stuff that you accused me of when we stopped being friends. I was at a point that I wasn't going to argue with you to believe me because a "true" friend would never have had thought the things that you did. Do I hate you? No. I don't. I don't regret our friendship either. You have two amazing kids and we had some fun times. I didn't get with Eli to upset you, hurt you, or anything. In fact, Eli and I had nothing to do with you. It was just something that happened. I did think about you and how you would feel, but like I said in a previous blog, I couldn't let someone who wasn't a part of my life affect me being happy. It would be sad if it was you that is messing with Eli and I, but I can't stop you and neither can he. So, I will say that I am sorry if I hurt you being with him, but I didn't do it to purposefully get to you.

Kelly...after our last run in, I really don't have much to say to you. We haven't been friends since me and Mike half-ass dated. Again, me being with him had nothing to do with you at all. In fact, I didn't even really know that you guys had any relations until after. I never thought that you guys dated. I don't have any respect for you, but again, that is my opinion. Just as you have your opinion of me. I get that you are protective of your sister and your family, but they can handle their own. Your reputation around Reno is very well known. So I didn't drag you through the mud at all. What I did say, I probably shouldn't have, but after our run in, I didn't care. I know that you and I will never be friends or get along and I am ok with that.

Anyone else who is writing things anonymously: please stop being anonymous. If you are going to air my personal business, take credit for it. Let me and everyone else know who you are. I can guarantee you that I never intentionally tried to hurt you either or do anything mean to you. And if you have things that you would like to discuss with me, feel free.

I have tried to handle all this as maturely as possible even while having plenty of other stuff that I was dealing with where Eli and I were concerned. I am fortunate to have great friends and good blog friends that completely support me. Rather than have all of this continue to get out of hand, please keep your beef with me with me. Again, I never meant to hurt anyone. Now that you have aired my personal secret, I hope you feel better. Just know, you didn't get me down. I am still a very strong person. I am not looking for an argument or a fight or anything along those lines. I am not a kid anymore and would rather handle all things in an adult matter.

As for Eli and I...we are none of anyone's business. What we were, what happened, nothing.

6 comments:

angie said...

I think that you are handling this very well. Good for you for staying strong and dealing with them.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all this crap... You're definitely handling it really well. Just stay strong and don't let it bring you down.

Jen said...

You tell 'em Steph! Stay strong. You are handling this the right way!

Anonymous said...

Well said my blog friend! Stay strong!

Lindz said...

Way to go Steph! I'm proud of you.

angie said...

Well it looks like things have settled down...I hope things are getting a little better!!