Friday, April 27, 2007
No gold digging
I just have to say real quick, if you see me and it looks like I am picking my nose, I am not. Chances are I am just screwing around with my nose ring because it feels fun when I do. And I do it most of the time without even realizing it. So no, I am not digging for gold or scratching my brain or anything like that. I am just screwing around with my ring.
Change is good
Even though today has been one of those days, it has been one that is all about change. They aren't huge changes like I chopped all my hair off, died it brown, new fashion style or anything like that. Just subtle things to make me a better person and make my life better and for that, I am happy.
One of those days
It seems like everyone in the office today is just having, one of "those" days. Everyone seems to be going through some issue and the moral is just kind of down. I am very thankful that today is Friday. It sucks because I hate to see the people I work in such close quarters with upset over things. And since we do work in such a tight knit office, we all share and ask opinions and are there for one another. Both women (both older than me) are having problems with their significant other. One knows that the relationship she is in is going no where, yet is having a hard time getting to the point of breaking it off. She knows it is for the best, but is scared to do it. Scared not for the reason of being on her own, but other reasons that I won't get into. Not to mention, she doesn't want to hurt him. He is a good person, just not for her. And as everyone knows, every breakup is hard, even if you are the one that wants it.
The other woman is newly married and her and her husband are having an issue over something that happened back in December, before they got married - but it is something that was just found out. I almost feel bad for the husband (not cause I am on his side) but because this woman is the most hard headed, strong willed person. She knows that she doesn't need him or anyone else and will be the first to tell you that and doesn't take any shit.
With all this going on, it makes me thankful to be where I am not. I have no guy drama at all and it is so nice. I think that is what scares the hell out of me when it comes to getting involved with someone new. I don't want to go through any bullshit. I have been there and done that. I know that not everything is easy, but I don't want to find myself in a crappy ass situation. I guess that is why I am so picky and make sure to not get involved with anyone unless I feel they could be worth while (and even then, I know I would be taking a chance). It is nice to see situations that other people are going through because even though it isn't me going through it directly, I am learning from it still. It is amazing how much you learn in a day just by listening and watching other people.
I do know that I am ready for today to be over. I am not so much looking forward to going to the other job, but know I will be just fine once I get there. Like I said, it has just been one of those days.
The other woman is newly married and her and her husband are having an issue over something that happened back in December, before they got married - but it is something that was just found out. I almost feel bad for the husband (not cause I am on his side) but because this woman is the most hard headed, strong willed person. She knows that she doesn't need him or anyone else and will be the first to tell you that and doesn't take any shit.
With all this going on, it makes me thankful to be where I am not. I have no guy drama at all and it is so nice. I think that is what scares the hell out of me when it comes to getting involved with someone new. I don't want to go through any bullshit. I have been there and done that. I know that not everything is easy, but I don't want to find myself in a crappy ass situation. I guess that is why I am so picky and make sure to not get involved with anyone unless I feel they could be worth while (and even then, I know I would be taking a chance). It is nice to see situations that other people are going through because even though it isn't me going through it directly, I am learning from it still. It is amazing how much you learn in a day just by listening and watching other people.
I do know that I am ready for today to be over. I am not so much looking forward to going to the other job, but know I will be just fine once I get there. Like I said, it has just been one of those days.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Change of Pace
Today is take your daughter to work day, so there are two little girls here. They are 9 and 10 and so cute. At first they were all super quiet and just kind of kept to themselves and their moms. It didn't take them long at all to migrate towards me and my desk asking a bunch of questions and just trying to figure out all that I have going on. I now have 4 new pictures hanging up. I left to go to the doctor to find them both sitting in my chair pretending to do my job and even answering the phones like, "Facility Operations, this is Stephanie." So cute!!!
Oh and as the day has been going on, a supervisor for one of our departments has been feeding them candy. It started off on an hourly basis and now has progressed to like every half hour and you can see the sugar high increasing. The moms are stressing over it and I get to just sit over here and laugh about it. It has helped make the day go by faster and it is nice that it is something different.
Oh and as the day has been going on, a supervisor for one of our departments has been feeding them candy. It started off on an hourly basis and now has progressed to like every half hour and you can see the sugar high increasing. The moms are stressing over it and I get to just sit over here and laugh about it. It has helped make the day go by faster and it is nice that it is something different.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Smooth again...
Since before I left for Cabo, Kylen and I have seen to be on edge around each other...not just me towards him. But him towards me as well. I thought the night before I left was just cause he was jealous and drunk, but then when I got home he totally apologized and things seemed to be fine. But since then, they haven't been fine. He has been moody with me, short, even kind of mean. That is so unlike him. Him and I are so super close. We talk usually about anything and everything and when he is mad at the world, he is still super nice and sweet to me. Definitely not the case the past few days.
Last night him and I both went to dinner at my parents house. They absolutely love him and he is always down there for dinner even without me. Things were a little tense between the two of us again, but I just let it roll off my back. I had a long day and was super tired and started to not feel good. So I bailed before him. I guess he left right after me because he called and I am so happy that he did. His mood toward me had really nothing to do with me at all. He just has been having a tough time with a lot of things and I guess since I have been so busy since I got back, he just thought I didn't really want him around. Made me feel bad, but it is all worked out. Poor guy...really is going through a lot.
Honestly, I think I made the best choice possible having him as a roommate. We have known each other for so long and have been through so much together and been there for each other, that we are able to talk about anything and be completely honest. He will tell me if I am being bitchy or throwing myself a pity party and I can flat out tell him he is being an ass and then all is better. It is just nice to have that out in the open and all to be better. And now that he opened up to me about what is going on with him, I am able to be there for him.
Last night him and I both went to dinner at my parents house. They absolutely love him and he is always down there for dinner even without me. Things were a little tense between the two of us again, but I just let it roll off my back. I had a long day and was super tired and started to not feel good. So I bailed before him. I guess he left right after me because he called and I am so happy that he did. His mood toward me had really nothing to do with me at all. He just has been having a tough time with a lot of things and I guess since I have been so busy since I got back, he just thought I didn't really want him around. Made me feel bad, but it is all worked out. Poor guy...really is going through a lot.
Honestly, I think I made the best choice possible having him as a roommate. We have known each other for so long and have been through so much together and been there for each other, that we are able to talk about anything and be completely honest. He will tell me if I am being bitchy or throwing myself a pity party and I can flat out tell him he is being an ass and then all is better. It is just nice to have that out in the open and all to be better. And now that he opened up to me about what is going on with him, I am able to be there for him.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Huh?!?!
I may regret writing this later, but right now, I feel like I just need to let it out.
Right now I am between anger and hurt. A day that started out so good for me after a great night last night, an awesome nights sleep, and just a good mood has quickly turned to a bunch of shit. I have never felt like I have needed to defend myself more than I did today. I am the first to admit that I am a different person than I was in high school...and I have changed for the better. I know that I wasn't nice, judged people, and was just a shit. I am not that person now. And I don't think that is a bad thing or something that I should have to explain. I am happier now in my life than I ever have been. Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that and sees that and are happy for me. I have a FEW close friends. I have learned that you can think people are your friend and then you get fucked over and stabbed in the back. And Ihave a very hard time trusting people. Does this mean that I close people off? No, because just because I am "friends" with them, doesn't mean I have to talk to them all the time or hang out with them. I can if I choose to, if not, I don't have to. My close friends are another story. They are people that I like to be in contact with ALL the time, whether it be by email, text message, or a phone call and I will go out of my way to see them even if it is just for five minutes because I have something else that I have to go do. I hope by making effort, they will realize that I care.
I want people to know that I don't give a shit about myspace and the only reason I still have one is because that is the only place I talk to them. Yes, I have a lot of "friends" on my page, but they aren't close friends. Do I talk to all of them? No, but I do talk to a lot of them. It may not be every day or every week. Hell some I talk to maybe once every six months. In no way should my page be taken as the person that I am because to me, that isn't shit to me. I do it to keep in touch with people. I may be weird for keeping people on there that I don't talk to all the time or adding people I don't really know and only kind of do...but I just don't see why it really matters or why it bothers anyone else. What is on my page and what I am doing shouldn't bother anyone else. I don't put anything on there that is personal for the simple fact that I keep personal stuff either to myself or just between me and my "close" friends.
At this point I don't really know where I was headed with this damn post. All I know is that I hate when some questions me about my friendship. I treat people like I want to be treated and that is why I am nice to people...until I have a reason not to be. When a friend or family member pisses me off, I don't yell at them. I tend to just get quiet and try to either defend myself and give my two cents on the situation. A lot of times I don't say things that are on my mind because I have learned to think before I speak. I have learned that words hurt and have a crazy affect on people and you are never able to take them back. I don't want people to judge me by my damn myspace page that isn't my life. Hell, I don't want people to judge me without getting to know me so they can judge me accurately.
Right now I am between anger and hurt. A day that started out so good for me after a great night last night, an awesome nights sleep, and just a good mood has quickly turned to a bunch of shit. I have never felt like I have needed to defend myself more than I did today. I am the first to admit that I am a different person than I was in high school...and I have changed for the better. I know that I wasn't nice, judged people, and was just a shit. I am not that person now. And I don't think that is a bad thing or something that I should have to explain. I am happier now in my life than I ever have been. Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that and sees that and are happy for me. I have a FEW close friends. I have learned that you can think people are your friend and then you get fucked over and stabbed in the back. And Ihave a very hard time trusting people. Does this mean that I close people off? No, because just because I am "friends" with them, doesn't mean I have to talk to them all the time or hang out with them. I can if I choose to, if not, I don't have to. My close friends are another story. They are people that I like to be in contact with ALL the time, whether it be by email, text message, or a phone call and I will go out of my way to see them even if it is just for five minutes because I have something else that I have to go do. I hope by making effort, they will realize that I care.
I want people to know that I don't give a shit about myspace and the only reason I still have one is because that is the only place I talk to them. Yes, I have a lot of "friends" on my page, but they aren't close friends. Do I talk to all of them? No, but I do talk to a lot of them. It may not be every day or every week. Hell some I talk to maybe once every six months. In no way should my page be taken as the person that I am because to me, that isn't shit to me. I do it to keep in touch with people. I may be weird for keeping people on there that I don't talk to all the time or adding people I don't really know and only kind of do...but I just don't see why it really matters or why it bothers anyone else. What is on my page and what I am doing shouldn't bother anyone else. I don't put anything on there that is personal for the simple fact that I keep personal stuff either to myself or just between me and my "close" friends.
At this point I don't really know where I was headed with this damn post. All I know is that I hate when some questions me about my friendship. I treat people like I want to be treated and that is why I am nice to people...until I have a reason not to be. When a friend or family member pisses me off, I don't yell at them. I tend to just get quiet and try to either defend myself and give my two cents on the situation. A lot of times I don't say things that are on my mind because I have learned to think before I speak. I have learned that words hurt and have a crazy affect on people and you are never able to take them back. I don't want people to judge me by my damn myspace page that isn't my life. Hell, I don't want people to judge me without getting to know me so they can judge me accurately.
Last night...
Turned out awesome! I can't even explain it. We met at On the Border and seriously just sat there talking. The conversation at no point drug on and I never got an uncomfortable feeling. That is a major step for me. And when I saw him into the restaurant, I got all excited and couldn't get over how great he looked. It was nice to spend time with him. We have a lot in common (other than him loving snow and skiing!!), but that is minor. In fact, him and I are even looking into getting our master's in the same thing. Crazy...
After dinner we walked over to Barnes and Noble and got a coffee and just walked around looking at books and talking about movies. Then we walked down to Best Buy for awhile. I didn't want the night to end. He walked me to my truck and gave me a huge hug and told me he wanted to see my on my next night off.
It was a perfect first date in my opinion and I can't wait to hang out with him again!
After dinner we walked over to Barnes and Noble and got a coffee and just walked around looking at books and talking about movies. Then we walked down to Best Buy for awhile. I didn't want the night to end. He walked me to my truck and gave me a huge hug and told me he wanted to see my on my next night off.
It was a perfect first date in my opinion and I can't wait to hang out with him again!
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