As if

I can't remember if I have said it on my blog or not, but I am scared of the dark. That's right. I am 25 years old and HATE the dark. I used to cry when I was younger and had to take out the garbage. If I am camping and have to go the bathroom in the middle of the night, I will either hold it or wake someone up to get up with me. Oh it is so bad. Especially living where I do. Let me set the scene for you. I live in a house that is back in the trees (so essentially the forest) and there are no street lights, you can barely see the lights from your neighbors house, the porch light doesn't illuminate shit. Oh yea, and there are tons of little critters. You see bunnies, squirrels, lizards, and many other things regularly. Coyotes are always out as well and not far from the house. They are another fear of mine, but that isn't what we are talking about here. If you were to scream, you wouldn't be heard. Yes, it is super scary...especially in the night time. So scary that I tremble walking from my truck to my door and my eyes water trying to get the door open. It sucks. I wish I wasn't afraid of the dark, but it is just a fear of mine.

Alright, so last night Eli and I are at my house for the night, it is dark and we are watching a movie. I had my fan on so there wasn't much to hear other than it and he movie. All the sudden, I hear the outside garbage rattle around. I looked at Eli and was like, "there is an animal out there," and got up and looked out the window to see if I could see anything. Stupid me. It is far too dark to see shit. Just looking outside scares me and I crawl back in bed thinking it must be a raccoon. I get all settled and get absorbed back in the movie when I hear my name being yelled from outside. What the hell?? Last I knew, my roommate wasn't home. Sure enough, he was home and looking out the window he is standing there in his pj bottoms and holding in one hand a flash light and the other a crutch (as in one crutch our of a pair of crutches). I am mad at him, but that is another story, and so I snap at him asking what he wants. He says, "I need another flash light, hurry up."

Me: "What?"
Roommate: "A flash light. Can you bring me one please?" (giving attitude right back to me)
Me: "What the hell do you need a flash light for? I don't have one any way."
-look at Eli and give him one of my annoyed looks I am so good at giving!-
Roommate: "Cause the bear that keeps getting into our garbage is back."
Me: NOW SHITTING MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right, there is a fucking bear that visits our trash I guess nightly. In fact, the damn thing went after Kylen the other night and tries to get in our barn to eat his kittens! I knew we had a lot of wildlife around there, but BEARS!? Bears hurt people and are scary. After the shock wears off I start laughing to myself. How the hell is Kylen, my smart roommate, going to fight off a bear with a crutch!? Oh good grief.

I crawl back in bed, knowing I am safe in my house and that is when it hits me. I am already scared of the dark. I am already scared to walk from my truck to the house. How the hell am I going to be able to walk from my truck to the house and not shit myself thinking a bear is going to attack me!?!?!? This is so unfair. I think I might cry every night I get home and it is dark. Could you imagine if I saw this damn thing? I tell Eli, and he tries to comfort me, but it wasn't doing much good.

I called my dad this morning and asked if he had heard about our little visitor. He says, "Yea, she has been all around the neighborhood. You need to be careful she has a cub and therefore even more mean." THANKS DAD! Like I wasn't already scared enough. Needless to say, I am just a little freaked out. I don't want to have a run in with a Mama Bear!