Progress

So I posted about my goals about working out and just wanted to give an update on how I have been doing. I worked out both Monday and Wednesday of last week. Then I did a class on Saturday morning at 8am. I have never been able to pull my ass out of bed for a workout before. But I got up and was in a good mood and had energy and then after my workout, I felt so good, I got so much stuff done. Then on Sunday, I participated in a 10K run in Minden. It was awesome. I don't know why I did the 10K rather than the 5K since I haven't been running, but I did better than I thought. I felt so amazing after. I worked out on Monday and then took the last two days off because I went camping on Tuesday night and was at the lake all day yesterday. I am however going to go tonight and will be going on Saturday for sure. I think I am doing quite well, but know I could still do better. I just love how I feel after I work out. It is the greatest feeling and I feel so much more healthy.

Happy Birthday Papa

Today is my Papa's birthday. I am still just in shock that it has been a year that he has been gone and the pain that I still fill in my heart.

I hope you know that you are always on my mind and in my heart. You are thought about and missed daily. I love you so much!

I have NEVER...

...been in a fight or been hit before. (we will come back to this point, but keep it in mind)

Getting together with Eli, I expected a ton of drama and just shit to come flying our way. Like I said before, I was worried about Shannon, but I was also worried about his ex wife. Obviously things with Shannon and I are fine and all is well there. Things with Kasey...well nothing has happened. I figured it was all too good to be true (you know, her keeping her mouth shut, not starting shit, being childish), but just didn't know what was going to happen and when. I figured it would just keep being low blows where his kids were concerned. Oh but I was wrong. I can't believe I forgot how absolutely crazy their entire family is.

Moving on. Last night Eli had the kids for a few hours. When we were getting ready to leave the house to go take them to Kasey's, he said we should go drop by Farmer's Market for a few. I was super tired, but figured what the hell. So we head there knowing that none of my friends were there and that just a couple of his were going to meet us. We stop in and get a drink and are standing outside of Cantina when I spot Kelly who is walking right towards us. Instantly I thought to myself, "Oh great..." I can't stand her, I really can't. So I just moved closer to Eli and looked away from her. Wrong thing to do. Bitch walks by me and next thing I hear is, "Fucking bitch!" My drink gets smacked out of my hand which goes all in my hair, face, down the front of me because it was still half full! Then she swings. She made contact with my right above my left eye, but I didn't really feel it. It all happened so fast that I didn't even get the chance to say anything to her. I couldn't see due to all the damn strawberry margarita in my eye and up my nose and every where else for that matter. The cops came over and we pointed them in her direction but I don't think that they got her. At that point, I just felt like a sticky mess and wanted nothing more than to go home and shower.

I am so pissed. First of all, who the fuck does she think she is and why the hell was she so chicken shit to wait until she was almost BEHIND be before she made any move on me?!?!! I am so mad. I wish that there was something that I could do and will look into my options today. I just hate knowing that she goes around and jacks people all the damn time and nothing is ever done about it. She should seriously have a ton of people that have filed stuff against her. Lucky for me though, she didn't leave a mark. It just goes to show that Kasey really doesn't like the situation, but is just holding her mouth shut where Eli and I are concerned. She is flapping her mouth to everyone else. The thing that they all need to realize is that doing shit like that isn't going to make me want to leave Eli and run the other way. It makes me want to make it work that much more (things have been going perfect anyway). Whatever she was trying to accomplish really didn't work. She didn't hurt me, she didn't leave a mark, she didn't effect our relationship...

Eli handled the situation great. I have never seen anyone so pissed before in all my life, but he was great. Without him, I probably would have broken down in tears, not because I was hurt, but because I was so mad at the situation in general. He was all about pampering me and making sure I was ok.

Now I can't say that I have never been hit before, but I can still say I have never been in a fight!

My Goal

My goal is to get back to the gym. Now I have enough time to do it since I am not working the other job AND still have a life. The gym doesn't take up much time and even if I go at night after work, I can still have time to do other things. That and my boss is on this big kick about losing weight...she is so cute seriously. So we went to the gym on Monday for the first time and are planning on going again tonight. Tonight we are going to do one of those classes that includes weights. I am so excited. Hers and my plan is to work out at least three times a week. We figure if we are going together, we are going to be motivation to each other. Like she said, she doesn't want me to be talking shit about her around the office for flaking out. I think that is a great way to look at it.

So there is my goal. If any of you catch wind that I am slacking from it, feel free to rip my ass (I know you will Shannon). She is the best at telling me I am being lazy and really pushing me to get off my ass and just do something.

Oh and I just got a new mountain bike yesterday! I was so excited. So no, I get to go bike riding!! =)

Stupid Doctor

Seriously, I hate going to the doctor, especially when I know that I am not going to get an answer about what the hell is going on with me. Take today for instance. I went to the doctor and walked away knowing nothing really more than what I did when I got there. For the last two weeks, I have been showing signs of a bladder infection. The weird thing is, the symptoms come and go. One day I could be so uncomfortable and in pain and then the next totally normal. Or I could be in pain for a could hours and then feel fine the next. Yes, this has been going on for two weeks and finally today was just too much for me.

So, I took my little self to the doctor. When asked what's wrong, I explained that I thought I could have a bladder infection...but it isn't your typical bladder infection. I couldn't think of any other way to explain it. I did the whole pee in a cup and wait for them to check it. They did their little text and told me, "It looks like the beginning stages of a bladder infection." I just started laughing. I said, "Wow, that is a long beginning stage since the problem has been going on for two weeks now." The doctor just had a dumbfounded look on her face and was like, "Well, I guess we will go ahead and treat it as though it is a bladder infection. If it doesn't get better, then come back and we will try to figure out what else it could be." Right...ok. So, she fills out my prescription and sends me on my way knowing nothing more than I did when I walked in the place.

What I walked away with:
$51.00 bill for the doctor to tell me exactly what I told her and to pee in a cup.
$5.00 for my Rx

Lovely

Still Here

Well, I have been out of the blogging loop for a little bit. I have just been really busy at work and then when I do have a free second, I was trying to do some reading for school. Ah, school...not sure how happy I am to be back in class, but it is actually going well for now. I am finding it hard to get all wrapped up in the readings and finish the readings, which are necessary to do the discussions and journals, but am pulling it off. Hopefully this week, I can catch up on all I didn't finish the last two weeks and get this weeks done. What a novel idea that is.

My last day couple days that the restaurant went well. I was so super nervous going into work on Wednesday after the phone conversation and being hung up on, but all was smooth. Everyone was nice and I made decent money. Oh and not only that, but I served my music teacher that I had in elementary school. How crazy is that!? She even remembered my name and everything. It was fun. Thursday being my last day, I didn't even want to go. I had a shit ton of reading I needed to do for assignments do on Friday and my friends were all going to Farmer's Market. Lucky for me, the place was slow due to the rodeo and Farmer's Market and I was off the clock at 7:00pm. I only had one table (thanks to the hostess purposefully not seating me like I asked her!) and I gave half the tip away just so I could leave. I am going to miss certain aspects of the job - like easy money, fun people to work with, free drinks - but I am already loving that I am able to plan things during the week and the weekend and not worry that I might be scheduled to work.

Oh and with not having to work so much I have been able to go grocery shopping, do laundry, hang out with my sister and family...all the stuff I had been missing out on since I started that job. Sunday was a tough day for me. I miss my Papa so much. I can't believe it has been a year since he left. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday and it still hurts just the same knowing he isn't around. Friday is his birthday too...so another emotional day. At least I know that he is peaceful and not in pain anymore. --I love you Papa--

Other than that, just been working. My computer at work sucks and is driving me absolutely nuts (THANK YOU SHANNON FOR LETTING ME VENT). I am surprised the damn thing is still in one piece to be honest. I almost have them convinced to let me get a new one. Hhhhmmm, what else? That is all that I can think of for right now. I will try to be better about posting though.

Beyond Frustrated

And that is no lie. I am shocked even. As I wrote, I gave my part time job my notice and the reasoning behind it. They did try to work with me by changing the schedule so I have Friday off this week and realized they needed to have someone else work Saturday. Well, they had me scheduled for 4pm tomorrow, but I don't get out of my full time job until 4:30pm. I tried telling them yesterday that I couldn't be there at that time, but they were too busy to talk to me and had to get off the phone. So I figured I needed to call today to let them know and also try to talk to them about Sunday. I went into the conversation wanting to explain why Sunday is going to be hard for me and that I would be emotional, BUT if they still needed me, I would be there. This is how my conversation went with one of the bosses:

Me: "I just wanted to let you know that you guys have me scheduled to be in tomorrow at 4, but I don't get off work til 4:30."

Boss (with a shit ton of attitude): "Then get here at 5." --at this point he gets ready to hang up--

Me: "I also needed to talk to you about Sunday. I don't know if I am going to be able to make it..."

-before I could go any further-

Boss: "You are really going to do this to me on Father's Day weekend."

Me: "It's not that I am trying to..."

-before I could finish-

Boss: "Don't come in and don't bother showing up Wednesday." CLICK

I was seriously dumbfounded. My boss literally hung up on me. He didn't listen to a word I had to say. I sat there just stewing. My blood pressure was seriously through the roof. I was sitting here in my little skirt all freezing and had to strip off my little sweat jacket my blood was pumping so hard! I was thinking, well at least I don't have to worry about working anymore, but then also feeling very bad. That was a job that I used to love and could still love if I didn't feel like I was being taken advantage of. I am sure they are probably wondering what is going on with me. Why all of a sudden I am not picking up all the extra shifts and wanting to spend all my time up there. So after thinking on it for a few, I picked up the phone and called back.

I am not going to go into the whole phone conversation, but I made it clear that I didn't appreciate being hung up on, that I wasn't try to screw them over by not going in on Sunday, that had I been given a chance I would have explained why Sunday was going to be hard on me. I said that I wasn't trying to get out of work, but know that it is going to be extremely hard on me emotionally. I was told that they have a business to run and it can't be stopped just because something happened in my life a year ago. I was so upset. I told him to look at it from my perspective and see that I have worked every single holiday since I have started there WITHOUT complaining and have pulled doubles. I reminded him that I wasn't allowed to take Mother's Day off even though I requested it and made it fully aware that I would be missing out on my sisters 16th birthday, my cousins 18th birthday, AND Mother's Day. After all my explanation I said that I would work on Wednesday and Thursday and even Sunday if I was needed. It ended with me working the next two nights, and having Thursday be my last day.

I got off the phone feeling completely defeated. No matter what I said or what I did, it didn't seem to make anything better. Like I said to him, I don't want to leave there on bad terms or with tension. I don't want it to be left to where I don't feel comfortable going up there for dinner or drinks or whatever. And I don't want my last two nights to be completely uncomfortable...and I really have a feeling that is how it is going to be. Oh well. I am going to go in these next two nights with my head held high. I will work and do a good job and all the while have a smile on my face. I just hate that it came to what it did. I am also completely shocked that my boss hung up on me and treated me the way that he did. I know it is out of frustration, but still.

I just feel bad now.

I did it

I gave the restaurant my notice. Initially I had the intention of just saying I could only work a couple days DURING the week because working on weekends wasn't an option anymore. Keep in mind, this is after I put in an updated availability a few weeks ago stating that I can't work on Saturday's and that I only wanted two shifts a week. Oh and I had told them I couldn't close during the week because it made my days too long. So I went into work last Thursday and the managers had changed the schedule around and some how one of them was me closing...and yet, no one bothered to ask if that was ok or even tell me. Just did it. Fucking great. Not a good way to start off the night. So then I go and look at the schedule for this week and about freaked out. They scheduled me: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night AND all day on Sunday. Seriously? Who fucking does that? That was when I realized I couldn't work there anymore. I didn't want it to come to that because I truly like serving. I like the people and it is easy money.

So I talked to one of the owners and she told me that I had to work this Saturday. And I told her that I put in my availability change awhile ago and that I had plans on Saturday that I couldn't and wouldn't change. I feel bad, but I knew when I told them I could and couldn't work and that is why I planned to go to the rodeo with my friends. It is a group thing and I am not going to change every body else's schedule just because of that. I felt horrible giving my notice, but I just don't think it is going to work out. I need more time for me. Not to mention, now that I have someone in my life that I want to spend time with, I don't want to be up working. It was alright when I was single and doing my own thing. But things are different now.

Now here is where I am having a dilemma. I am scheduled to work on Sunday which is Father's Day. Normally I wouldn't mind. But I have worked every holiday since I have been working there. I pulled a double on New Year's Eve, worked all day on Easter, and all day on Mother's Day. I want to spend time with my dad. But really, that is going to be a hard day for me in general. The 17th marks 1 year since my Papa passed away. I was talking to my mom about it this morning and started crying. I know I am going to be a wreck. First of all, I can't believe that it has been a year, but to have to work and see all the grandpa's that come in to the restaurant will just rip out my heart. And it would take one person doing or saying one thing and I would either flip or have a serious break down. I just don't want to have to deal with it. I just don't know how I am going to tell them I can't work it. Any suggestions??

Definitely a Monday

I have been doing some of the stupidest things today. I don't know where the hell my head and brain are at today, but they are definitely not firing on all cylinders. I am dialing wrong numbers even though I am looking at the right one, heading my ear piece while holding the phone receiver up to my ear and the latest is I forgot to hang my phone up after helping a guy and it has just been sitting there off the hook for over ten minutes. I am a moron I tell you. I think I might need more sleep!

A bit more info

So I guess to give you all a better understanding of my relationship and how I have known my guy, I need to fill you in on a little bit of my past (the short version). See, I actually met Eli through his ex-wife, Kasey. Now when I met him, they weren't even dating. In fact, she was dating another guy. Anyhow. Her and I became friends because her brother worked with my best friend Kara's boyfriend and somehow (I truthfully don't know how) I ended up dating her brother. If I let myself regret things, that would be one to regret, but I learned a ton from it. So her and I became super close. I think it was more because I spent a lot of time around her and I fell in love with her daughter. Well the more I was around her, the more close we became and she was still a close friend to me long after her brother and I broke up. Somewhere in all that time, her and Eli got back together and decided that they were going to get married (they were engaged before this). Since her and I were so close, I was always over at their place and always around. In fact, I was in their wedding. Yep, weird, I know.

Kasey and I did pretty much everything together. Her and I would instant message all day long, talk about anything and everything, and just really seemed to get along really well. From the beginning of our friendship, everyone in my life always questioned why I was friends with her and would ask me why I wanted to be around someone like her. Me being the person that I am over looked a lot of what other people saw in her. The beginning of last year, her and Eli went through their divorce and I was there for her. I listened to her shit talk Eli and try to place blame on him and fabricate stories to make herself look good and kept my mouth shut all the while thinking she was stupid and knowing the truth. I helped her move her stuff out, I watched after both kids while she ran and took care of things, and listened to her complain incessantly. With the divorce though, I couldn't very well talk to Eli because that would have betrayed her and I was after all her friend before Eli's.

Last summer, things started to really bother me. I was tired of listening to her make herself out to be a saint. I was tired of hearing how selfish she was and watching what she was doing to someone else while trying to make herself look and feel better. She kept saying the things she was doing was for the "kids" but I always knew better. I started catching her in a bunch of lies...and that is just something you don't do. You don't like to your friends, especially if you think of them as your best friend. And it wasn't just one lie, it was numerous lies. It was like she was constantly playing games and I was always a pawn in them. It got to the point where I felt like we were competing against each other and knew there was absolutely no need for such a thing. She started dating a guy. This guy was 22, mind you she was 31 at the time with two kids. This guy lived at home with his parents because he got himself into some serious debt and had to have his finances monitored. She herself was living at home. It was the strangest relationship that I have ever witnessed, but whatever. She thought they were so in love and actually thought that they had a future together. Well after hanging out and getting to know said guy and getting close to his friends, I quickly found out he didn't think like she did. In fact, he spent a good part of the time lying to her about things.

I could go on forever about her and him, but I will spare you all and just say that the reason her and my friendship came to an end is because she actually accused me of trying to get with her 22 year old boyfriend. I still find it rather amusing. The only reason he had my phone number was because of her, the only time I ever was at the house (which was one time) was with her, and the only time I was ever around him when she wasn't was when I was hanging out with his best friend. Not only that, this guy is not in the slightest bit attractive and not someone I would waste any of my time with. Yes, he would call and he would talk to me about him and her, but I was loyal to Kasey. Oh and a little side note...this is all after she went home with a guy that I had dated and lied to me about what went on with them. When she confronted me about the whole thing, I seriously almost died laughing because I couldn't believe that someone who called themselves my friend would actually think I would do something like that. No matter what I said to her though, she wouldn't listen and it was then that I realized I was fighting a losing battle. It was then that I realized that this friendship we supposedly had wasn't a "friendship" whatsoever. So when she would say, "I know that you guys did this" or "I know that this happened," I would just agree with her and say, "Yea, you're right." And that was the last time her and I talked. It was the end of September last year.

Since then, the only thing that I have missed wasn't her or the friendship, but the kids. I definitely got attached to them since I was literally around them at least four days a week. Being away from her I realized how incredibly draining she was and exactly what everyone else saw in her. She is such an unhappy person and feeds on bringing other people down.

Is it weird that I am with her ex? It was in the beginning. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong and immoral (and some might still think that I am). But then I realized that I can't worry about someone that isn't even a part of my life anymore. I can't let someone that can drop me like nothing have control over what happiness I could have in my life. Once I stopped thinking about her, I realized what a mistake it would have been to let her keep me from Eli. She actually wasn't that big of a concern to me. It was more Shannon's feelings since she was and still is a part of my life.

So it was Kasey that I was talking about when I was talking about hating stupid people because she is aware of Eli and I and is starting to use the kids against him. She is too stubborn to ever mention me to him and knows that the only way she can get to him is with the kids. That is the part that bothers me more than anything. I haven't had to see her yet and am not sure how that is going to be when that day actually comes. But that is something that I am not going to worry about and refuse to play her games. I am sure there will be things that she will do though that will make for some interesting posts later!

My New Man

Well, since I know pretty much everyone that reads my blog, reads Shannon’s blog and/is friends with her, it is no secret that I have a boyfriend…not that I was keeping it a secret...and he is great. The situation was a sticky one to get into. There are so many other factors that are involved in how him and I have been connected over the last three years, but I am not going to get into that right now. He and I started talking again after I text him asking how him and his kids were. Yes, he has two amazing kids. His daughter will be 5 tomorrow and his son, two the end of July. I have been around his daughter since right before she turned two and was around for the birth of his son. I was only not around for about six months. Anyhow, not seeing them or knowing how they were doing was really starting to get the best of me, so I text Eli one day asking how they were. After a few text messages went on he asked me to go to lunch with him. I figured he just wanted to catch up since it had been awhile since him and I had talked and a lot had gone on. So he picked me up and I ended up being at lunch with him for 2 hours. We had so much to talk about and catch up on. From there on, he has text and called every day. He told me that I could see the kids whenever I wanted to and I finally after about 4 days decided I had enough courage to go over there.

I seriously almost started crying the day I walked in the house and saw them. And to have the both of them come and run into my arms was so wonderful. Since that day, we have been hanging out and doing things with the kids and it quickly turned from a friendship, which we have always had, into a relationship. This came as a shock to most that are close me since they knew how anti-guy and anti-relationships I have been. But seriously, this one just felt right. I couldn’t just walk away because I know that if I did, I would have regretted it and I am so happy that I didn’t. I am so thankful that Shannon is the person that she is because it could have made the situation so crazy.

Seriously, it is just nice to have found someone that I get along with so well and want to be around. I wasn’t tired of him after a day. Still am no where near being tired of him. We have more fun together and have so very much in common. He treats me better than I have ever been treated before. It is so nice. He does cute little things too that make my heart melt…the latest was him just showing up at my work and surprising me today to say hi. He is who I went to Six Flags with as well. That was a spur of the moment idea by him and a great one at that. Things are going super well with him and I and truly enjoy spending time with him and kids also. There is tons more that I could write about, but I have to get some stuff done before my day ends.

Interview with Jen

I got interviewed by Jen and here is how it went:

1. What do you look for in someone of the opposite sex (for relationship purposes)?

Honestly, I didn’t really have anything specific really that I was looking for. More than anything I wanted someone that I got along with, could talk to, be friends with, and connect with. Someone that has a big heart and isn’t just a hard ass and can show their feelings. I wanted someone that I could have fun with and not always be serious. Someone that I had things in common with and made me feel special inside. I have never been with someone that has been an actual “boyfriend” and done all the nice little things and I kind of wanted someone that would do those things as well. I think my biggest thing was that I wanted to be treated well, like I would treat them and be made to feel like I was a priority and not just around for someone’s convenience. I have settled in the past and this time I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t settle for less than I deserved…if that makes sense.

2. How did you know you wanted to go into psychology? Do you ever feel like you need your own psychologist? : )

I didn’t actually know that I wanted to go into psychology until a semester before I graduated. I started my college career thinking that I would major in a science field and then use it to go to medical school and become a pediatrician. I have always wanted to work with kids. Anyhow, you had to have so many elective courses and somehow, all mine ended up being psychology classes. Looking at my transcripts you can easily see that those were the classes that I enjoyed because they are the ones that I did the best in. So when I was trying to figure out graduating and whatnot, I took as step back and really looked at what I wanted and I knew I wanted to do something that interested me and something that I was good at, so I chose psychology. I knew getting my bachelors in psychology would require me to get my masters if I wanted to do it, so I have been procrastinating and trying to figure out which route to go. I have finally narrowed it down to Marriage and Family Therapy or School Counseling. I know both will be rewarding and I would enjoy. I am in a class right now that will hopefully be the deciding factor on which avenue to pursue.

As for needing my own psychologist…I don’t think at this point in time I need one. There have been times in my life when things have happened where seeing someone and talking to them about things would have probably been very helpful, but I am fortunate to be close to my mom and have her to talk to and work through things with. So really her and my friends are my personal psychologists. I don’t think I am a whacko…but you never know! =)

3. If you could choose to live ANYWHERE in the world, but you had to live there forever, where would it be?

I would have to say then I would be stuck in Reno for the rest of my life. I would want to be somewhere where I was close to my family and right now, all my family except for one uncle lives in Reno (he lives in Fernley). I am far too close to my family to live far away from them. I couldn’t imagine not being around them for all holidays or just dropping in whenever like I do now.

Now, if the whole family was going to move, I would want to go someplace by the ocean, with warm weather and a relaxed setting. I would want somewhere chill and relaxed…Cabo, Caribbean, somewhere in Hawaii. Someplace like that.

4. If you could only eat one THING for the rest of your life what would it be? (I hate this question, but I am really into food right now- so I am curious)

Shoot, that is a long time to just eat one thing! I would seriously go insane and end up becoming anorexic I think. But if I had to choose one thing it would be…hhhmmm…probably pasta. That is one of my favorite things to eat and probably wouldn’t get as old as eating a certain meat all the time or something. It would be super hard to only eat one thing though for the rest of my life. Could you imagine the cravings you would get!?!?!

5. If you were given a million dollars, how would you spend it and why?

First I would buy me a house because that is what I really want and would pay off all my debt. Then I would pay off my parents house and their debt because then my parents could retire and not work and just relax and travel. I would also set up a fund for my sister so that she could have enough money to put a good down payment on a house when she was old enough and pay for her schooling without having to worry about working so much. And I would invest the rest of it for when I had kids I wouldn’t have to worry about getting them cars, college, and so on. Oh and I would want to use a little bit of it on something fun too cause you have to enjoy something like that!

Young Again

It is so easy to get wrapped up in being an adult and doing all adult things like working, doing chores, things that require being responsible before you play. Well yesterday, I got to feel young again. It was great. I went to Six Flags for the first time in years! A few friends and I have talked about going for a couple years now and just never go. I am a big roller coaster fan and got my fix yesterday. I don't know what it is about them, but I can't get enough of them. No matter how many times I ride them, I will still sit there in the seat waiting for them to go and be so nervous. My stomach will hurt and the anticipation gets to me. But once they start and the loops and twirls come, I am one happy camper. I love it. I have never had to worry about getting sick or anything like that. My stomach seems to be pretty strong. I can even eat and then jump right on.

I did have a close encounter though yesterday. I drank a margarita and it didn't sit well at all in my tummy. I immediately got on one of their new rides and it goes for 0-shit in .25 seconds and I really thought that margarita was going to come up, especially when I was just hanging upside down. Lucky for me, I was able to control it and not embarrass the shit out of myself.

It is amazing how going to a place like that can be so much fun and make you feel so young. You forget about everything else in your life that stresses you out (bills, work, etc.) and just get to let your hair down and have a great time. It is definitely something that I wouldn't mind doing more often. I think it would be fun to get a group of people to go. I was so lucky to be off yesterday so I could do something like that. Speaking of. The restaurant has really cut back my shifts. I am only working 1-2 nights a week. That is definitely a lot better for me. It was just getting to be too stressful and I was getting tired of missing out on so many things.

Ok, that is all for now.