Excellent Lake Day

Thank goodness we went to the lake yesterday. So far, it already seems like today is going to not be near as nice. And the wind, ugh. How I hate the wind. Yesterday was absolutely fabulous. We all had a blast. When we first got up there, the beach was damn near empty - not something I am used to seeing up there. It didn't take long for it to get packed though! The kids played ALL-DAY-LONG!!!!!! Even when we left to come home at 5:30, they were still wanting to stay and play. The water was cold, but they braved being in there many times. Mostly, they loved playing in the sand and running around, oh yes, and splashing. It was great.

I was glad for a the breeze yesterday because sitting in the sun for that long would have been very hard. I enjoyed talking with Wendy, and spending time with the twins. It felt like old times being up there with Kara and Tara. We used to go up there all the time. Kara seemed to really enjoy herself. I think she has really been homesick and feels like she is missing out on so much being in Vegas now. Poor thing. I know it will get better once her and Paul are settled in more of a routine. Until then (and even after), she will be visiting often.

We all enjoyed some tasty snacks, some yummy lunch, and got a kick out of watching the college kids around us. There were a couple groups that were just partying away. One was doing beer Olympics. It was hysterical. The other group was just drinking constantly and enjoying numerous beer bongs. I enjoyed tons of water and didn't miss at all getting so drunk that I would feel miserable.

By the time we left, we were all spent...even if the kids didn't realize it. Seth was asleep within five minutes, if that, with a HUGE smile on his face. Swae tried to fight her heavy eyes for a quite awhile, but eventually lost the fight and caught some z's as well. I didn't let them sleep too long though because I wanted them to get a good night sleep. So once home, we jumped in the shower, ate, and then were off to watch part of a movie and get some rest.

I am not sure what today has in store for us just yet, but I am sure whatever it is will be great. The little ones woke up in happy moods and it is now time to get some breakfast. I hope everyone is enjoying their Labor Day Weekend so far.

Oh and I have pictures that I will post, but it won't be til Tuesday.

Happy Happy

I had a fabulous night last night. Lots of snuggles with the kiddos and Eli, then it was off with Tara to go pick up Kara from the airport. We played a trick on Kara saying I was home sick and she wouldn't be able to see me so when she went to get in the car she was super surprised because I was right there! It was awesome to see her. I can't believe it has been since the day after her wedding. Far too long in my book. She looks gorgeous still and has a nice glowing tan...welcome to living in Vegas and having friends with pools!!! The three of us then went and enjoyed and lovely dinner at Olive Garden for old times sake and just talked and enjoyed each other's company. It was so wonderful. Man, I miss her. Thank goodness I still have Tara around. :) They ordered some yummy drinks - Tara some yummy wine (jealous!!!!), Kara a pomegranate martini, and me a VIRGIN strawberry daiquiri.

Today Eli, the kids, my sister and I are off to the lake with our friends that has a little boy the same age as Seth and the twins will be meeting us up there. I couldn't be more happy or excited.

Hope everyone has a lovely Saturday!!!!

The Smell

Normally, I don't write about things that would have the potential to embarrass me. But there is a first time for everything. I honestly can't believe that I am about to write what I am...but here it goes.

Since being pregnant I have been on a natural pre-natal vitamin. Then after going to the doctor, I was given a sample one to try that also had DHA. I am not out of the ones that I had been taking, but have heard wonderful things about DHA, so I started taking those ones. I have found nothing wrong with them at all. The only thing that I have noticed since taking them is that they make my pee smell...weird. I have to admit that I normally don't ever notice a scent unless of course I eat asparagus, but now I do. And I am not too sure I like it at all.

Has any mommy's had this happen to them?

11 weeks 5 days

Checking in again with another picture. I filled my mom in on what I am doing with taking the weekly belly pics and she is excited and thinks it is a wonderful idea. I think it will be more fun when I actually look like I have something that I am taking a picture of! I am starting to be not as tired, which I am enjoying. However, if I don't go to bed at a decent hour, I am shot the next day. So, I have been trying to get to bed at a decent hour. I am still getting up at least once a night to pee, but I have no problem falling back to sleep after, so I can't really complain too much.

Still no sickness, which is absolutely wonderful and I am so thankful for. I was just talking to a guy at work who's wife is pregnant and just a week ahead of me. The poor girl has been so sick she has lost 12 pounds (he says she had weight to lose...but still!). I just couldn't imagine. I can tell that my body is changing, but it is nothing drastic by any means. To me, I think I look just bloated. You definitely can't tell that I am pregnant. It was funny, we were sitting at dinner last night (mom, sister, and me) and my mom, out of no where, started talking about how big my boobs are getting. Let me just tell you, my boobs are not BIG by any means. They are just a lot bigger than what they were...and that isn't saying much since they were non-existent before!

Just a couple more weeks until the next doctor appointment. I read yesterday that the baby should be about the size of a fig right now (1 1/2 inches). That is so incredible to even think about. It is even more insane to think that the baby is kicking, stretching, and moving all over and yet I can't feel the movement. Man, how I long to feel my little one move.

Alright, there is this weeks check-in. Enjoy the rest of your week all!

Flowers, Cake, Dinner

Today after work, my mom and I went to the Cake & Flower Shoppe to get ideas. OMG!!!! I am so excited. I have such a great idea of what flowers I am going to go with for my bouquet and for my bridesmaids. I am so anxious to see them...haha, I have a long time to wait for that! I will be going in in a few months though to look at some actual samples of the flowers to get a better idea, but I am pretty sure I will love and go with what I have picked out so far.

I also got a good idea about how much my cake is going to be, even if we use someone else. I already have an idea of what I want it to look like, the shape, and the decorations. So that is exciting too!

It really is so insane how expensive things are. We have been trying to help pay for things, even though my mom fights me on it. I did, however, make it clear to my mom tonight that we will be buying the cake and flowers. I appreciate my parents so much for all that they are doing, but I don't for a second expect them to pay for everything and I don't want them to feel obligated to pay for it all. I want to help and show my mom and dad that we aren't just relying on them.

After our time looking at cakes and flowers, my mom and I met up with my little sister, who started her Senior year on Monday, for dinner at BJ's. Yummy!!!! I didn't think I was hungry until I got my food and then plowed it down. I haven't really been feeling good today and eating really felt good. And no, I wasn't starving myself or the little bambino in me. Plus we had a kiler dessert! It was so nice spending time with my mom and sister and just chatting...about everything. There wasn't a lot of wedding or baby talk, it was a lot of just life talk and what is going on. I miss those times. Everything has been so much about the upcoming events, that I feel like I am missing out on the every day lives of my family. So it was great to catch up with them. I am so amazed by my sister and how big she is. I am floored she is a senior already and can't believe that she will be graduating in 9 months!!! Time flies I tell you!

Now I am home and getting ready to snuggle with my man. Mmmmm, gotta love it!

Back To School Night

Swae's school has their shit together! We had her back to school night last night. Eli didn't go last year because it was on Tuesday, which was a night we had the kids. This year, I called way ahead of time to find out when it would be and then we asked his parents to watch the kids for a couple hours and feed them so that we could both be there. I think that him not going last year screwed him because he was kept from everything and not told about anything that was going on with Swae in her kindergarten class. He was never informed of field trips, conferences, nothing. Which is horrible and sad considering he does care, but his ex wanted to be the "sole" parent.

He never discussed that we would be going with the kids mom and didn't think that we really needed to. The meeting last night was for parents only, which is why we had to leave the little ones. Her classroom was so cute. It was nice to see it for myself and just through a picture. When we walked in, one of her teachers walked up to us and introduced herself. Turns out, she used to work with Eli's mom for years! So that is awesome. She was an absolute sweetheart. She told us to take a seat at Swae's spot and we started reading over the papers they handed out. She then brought over a handout that was sent home with the kids on the first day and said, "Here is a copy for you. I didn't think you guys saw this." It is so nice to know that already we are being kept in the loop.

I really like both of her teachers. The male seems like he really knows what he is doing. He loves teaching first grade and you can totally tell. I am sure all the kids love him. I think that he has a lot to offer and there is no doubt Swae will really do well this year. I am so excited to watch the learning and growing. I am so excited to actually be a part and for it to be known that her dad and I are interested and are a part of her life and will be involved.

Ooooohhhhh, Big Brother

Every week I get a little more hooked to Big Brother. I swear, the things that go on absolutely shock and amaze me. It is quite entertaining.

Right now I am most drawn to Dan getting away with all the stunts he is pulling. I have to give him a ton of credit because he really has been playing the game very strategic and staying below the radar. He has broken promises and mixed alliances and yet, everyone still trusts him. What is even more crazy to think is how that sort of thing can relate to real life!! And how people really can be vindictive and hurtful.

I am not super anxious to watch Thursday night's episode to see what happens. I think things will only get more interesting from here!

First Day of 1st Grade!!!!!!!!!!!! 8-25-08

Yesterday, our sweet angel started first grade! I still am finding it hard to believe. It seems like it was just yesterday that she was little, let alone starting kindergarten. I was terribly sad not to be there yesterday to see her before school, but was so happy that Eli was able to make it and was sure to send the camera off with him. From what I heard, both Swae and Seth were overly excited to see their daddy.

Here is the beautiful first grader! I love her cute little backpack. Eli and I picked it out. It is so cute and it is full of her favorite colors!
The sweet babies. Oh the love I have for the two of them.
My three favorite people - Eli with his babies. Moments like these are precious to him.
Definitely daddy's girl here. So sad how much she is growing! She is such an angel and such a pleasure to be around.
She found her desk and claimed it. She made sure to keep her daddy in sight!
Aw, look at her. I like how they have groups and not desks where junk and trash gets collected.

We got to talk to her last night. She was very happy about her first day and likes both of her teachers. It is funny, one of her teachers (in the pink-ish shirt) used to work with Eli's mom. They emailed yesterday and she was sure to let us know that Swae was doing well without us even asking. I had no doubt in my mind. Swae was also very excited because instead of only getting recess three times, they were able to go out four times because they were being such good listeners. To hear her, so happy and excited and full of life, was absolutely mind blowing exciting. I am looking forward to watching her progress this year. She is such a fast learner and I know that she is really going to do well.

Water Works

It's official. I have already cried because Eli is gone. I am such a baby!

A Weekend Apart

Weekends like this are tough for me. The last weekend Eli and I spent apart was when I went to Park City for my best friends wedding. It was also the weekend I got back and was proposed to and found out we would be welcoming a beautiful child into the world in the Spring. This weekend wasn't at all by choice. One of the greatest things about Eli and I and our relationship is how much we enjoy being together, spending time together, and sharing the same interests.

This weekend, my uncle and his brother went up on their antelope hunt. That means, the all the guys in the family were on their way as well. My family lives for the shit. It really is a great experience - being out in the wilderness, seeing all the wildlife. Plus there is an art to getting your animal and it takes help from all that go. One person alone can fuck up your whole hunt. Everyone loves being together and the stories that come out of these hunts are fantastic. Last weekend, my uncle invited Eli to go this weekend...HUGE. My family doesn't invite just anyone to hunt with them. He instantly looked at me and was like, "And you are coming too right?" Immediately I wanted to go. I love going and doing stuff like that. But, my mom piped up before I could saying that we had to go to the flower warehouse or some shit on Saturday to get ideas for the wedding. Her and Eli went back and forth (they really crack me up) and Eli finally gave in that he could go one weekend without me. My mom and him are too funny and constantly give each other shit. I love it.

So my decision was made for me. I am not mad or upset. However, today I am sad. I always have a hard time being separated from him. It is so hard. Everyone says that it makes them sick and that we should be over that by now, but it is the truth. I know that he is going to have a wonderful time and I am so excited for him to be spending some time with my family. My family loves him already, but I think that him being out with just them, they may see even another side of him. I on the other hand, will be missing him like crazy. In fact, I already do and it has only been 1 hour and 35 minutes since I was with him. Saying good bye sucked. I always cry like a baby...just like I did when he dropped me off at the airport last month. I won't even be able to talk to him while gone due to no cell service. :(

It will be okay though. It is only a couple days and I will be busy myself. My mom and grandma have my day planned for tomorrow and then tomorrow night all the girls in the family are getting together for dinner and a movie at my aunts house, which should be fun. You get my mom and aunts together, give them a margarita (or two) and it is a laugh a minute. They get all loopy and loony. It's great. Tonight my little sister is going to come stay the night with me. She might even stay tomorrow night too. She has been texting me and telling me how much she misses me, so it will be good for us. We need some one on one time. She is going through a tough time right now. Her boyfriend just left for Colorado to go to college. Ugh, her first love and her first broken heart.

**I walked away from this post and now coming back, I have lost all train of thought. THANK YOU PREGNANCY! Bottom line, I miss Eli and will all weekend. I can't wait to be wrapped in his arms again. I will also be missing the little ones and longing for Tuesday.

My Favorite Boys

The weekend I did all my dress shopping, Swae and I spent a TON of time together, which left Seth and Eli to bond and have guy time. The actual day I bought my dress, Swae and I left the boys at home. We were gone longer than we expected. I thought it would be a quick process ,but when you have your mom, both aunts, and Shannon there...you have to try on the top three dresses each at least twice. And then there was all the time taken for the pictures...which are priceless. I don't want to post them and ruin them. You all get to wait until next year! There are pictures of Swae and I that literally bring tears to my eyes every single time I see them. I am just so happy that she was there with me...what an experience for her and I to share together.

Well, after our dress shopping we headed home. I had tried calling Eli and he didn't answer. The following pictures explain why.

My boys were sacked out! They had put on a movie to wait for Swae and I to get home and this is what happened. My heart melted when I walked in the door. Seth is definitely a daddy's boy.

River Time!!!

Last Thursday when we had the kids, we wanted to do something fun but different with them. We are always trying to change things up a little bit so we aren't just at home and we wanted something that wouldn't kill the pocket book! Eli had been talking about the river for a while and when the idea was presented to the kids they started shouting for joy. The river it was. We grabbed some dinner and off we went. The place we went was a nice little quiet spot. There was a bridge close by so we were able to see all the runners, bikers, and walkers go by. The kids loved the dogs that were with the people more than anything. They had a wonderful time and didn't want to leave when we did...but we had to get them to their mom's on time. Eli fished for a little bit and then started looking for crawdads. He was successful in finding them and the kids were stoked to see them.

The three of them looking for crawdads.

Me. Look how tired I look! I remember this day very well. I was dragging ass and wanted so bad to take a nap. But spending time with the little ones having a great time was more important.
The little man with quite the personality!
Hammin' it up as usual.
The pretty girl. Man I love this girl. She made my heart melt on Tuesday of this week. She wanted to be by my side. She even said, "Can I just do everything that you do with you please?" She is always so curious and learning. She is the smartest little girl I have ever met and one of the sweetest. Her beautiful smile and bear hugs make my day (and I am looking forward to them tonight!!!!).
They play so well together. They had so much fun. They were throwing rocks and finding all sorts of neat things.
Eli looking for crawdads and the kiddos exploring.
This is definitely fun. It is so nice to be out with nature and so very relaxing. The kids even hung out with another little boy just a little younger than Seth. They had fun splashing around...even with the water freezing! It is so wonderful that they enjoy the outdoors as much as Eli and I do. They are up for anything and are begging to go ice fishing again. Looks like we will be making that trip, even if I am 6 months pregnant!

An Update

But you have to come over here to see it!

10 weeks 5 days

Still going strong. I am thinking (or maybe just hoping!!) that since I still haven't gotten sick, I won't be having to worry about it. I feel very fortunate. The tiredness is still kicking my butt and naps are my new best friend. Tuesday night I had Swae draw pictures on my back and I fell asleep...she is so cute. The kids seems to be getting more and more excited about this upcoming baby. I am so looking forward to when they can feel the baby kick. I can just imagine their little faces lighting up. It is going to be wonderful. Everything is still going great. Figured I would keep trying to do the weekly picture, so here she be!

Big Brother

I have never really gotten into the show previous seasons, but this season I have been following really close. If I miss an episode at night, I am sure to watch it online so that I am geared up for the next episode. I have to say that it is very interesting and it always intrigues me. I just couldn't imagine leaving my friends and family for that length of time and being cut off from the outside world. That would just be insane. Even more insane is not knowing anyone and not knowing who to trust. Then again, who can you trust? It is a game and you are playing for money.

It is funny to me how worked up these people get. My goodness. There is so much fighting, yelling, screaming, shit-talking, and back stabbing. Wow. It blows my mind. It is amusing for me to watch, but I definitely couldn't imagine living that at all. I have to say after watching it, I have picked out my favorites and I am cheering for them. It is insane to see how well these people play the game. How manipulative they can be and how easy it is for them to hide their true colors from their housemates. I guess it is like real life, we are just able to see the other side of things.

I am looking forward to watching tonight. I always enjoy when I find something I am interested in watching but doesn't take a huge chunk of time out of my night.

Just Lovely

And I am not even being sarcastic. That is exactly how my weekend was, lovely.

Saturday, after an awesome morning, we headed to Coconut Bowl for the kids to run around and have fun. Swae was spending time with my little cousin for her birthday and they ended up having a sleep over. Seth was lucky to get to play with the big girls and oh the fun he had. Oh and can I just tell you all what a big boy he is becoming? He woke up Saturday morning asking for big boy undies. He then had them on all day even while we were at the jungle gym. And guess what?? No accidents. I was so proud and happy. He is really doing so good. It was tons of fun to watch the little ones run around and to spend some time with my Unlce. We almost didn't let Swae have the sleep over considering we only get them for the weekend, but then didn't feel it was right for her to have to miss out on fun. So, although it was hard, she had her little sleep over. And the girls had a blast. Over at my uncle's house they found rolly pollys, watched a movie, played with dolls, played with dogs, and plenty more. Seth of course got all the attention from daddy and Stephie and was loving it.

Sunday morning we were up and at 'em. Breakfast and showers and off to get Swae to spend some time with her. I love so much when the just snuggle knowing that their time at our house is ending. But we did get in a lot of quality time, which is so important. On the way home, Seth told Eli that he just wanted to stay with his daddy. Always hard for us to hear. Luckily, we only have to go one day until we get to see them again.

Then last night we had a BBQ at my parents. I love spending time with my family. They are all so cute. All they talk about is the baby and what it is going to be. It cracks me up. My grandpa has his only little nickname and argues when anyone tries to call the baby anything different. My dad calls the baby a little acorn. It just fills me with so much joy to know that my family is so happy and supportive. I am so freaking lucky.

So the weekend was good. This coming weekend already looks like some more wedding planning. My mom wants to go look at a flower place and a couple other things. I don't really know, but have to be there. It should be fun. And I think that my grandma will be going and she is just hysterical. Her and my mom kill me. So it should be a good time.

Alright, that is all for now. The belly is growling, so I best go feed this little one!

Perfect Start to My Saturday

I'm not going to lie, last night was a splendid night. One filled with two kiddos running around laughing and playing, a family sit down dinner (which is pretty standard), more playing, and then some snuggle time before bed. Those kind of nights are the most special and beat any night out on the town by far.

Waking up this morning was great. I heard both of them stirring and got up. Swae was in the bathroom and Seth was just laying on his bed waking up. I walked in there and when he saw me, my whole day was made with the huge smile that crossed his face and having his arms reach up for me to grab him. Then his little arms wrapped around my neck. What a way to melt my heart first thing. The three of us snuggled for a good 45 minutes. I adore times like that, I really do.

Breakfast has been served, now it is more play time and then Swae gets to go to a birthday party. Plans for the day? Whatever comes up. All I know is it will be great because I will be surrounded by my family and around the people that I love.

Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!

9 weeks 5 days

I didn't have time to go downstairs and get my real camera, so you are stuck with one from my cell phone. There is starting to be a little pooch. It looks more fat to me than anything! Eli loves it and is always touching it.

Enough is Enough

You know what breaks my heart? Is when two little kids get screwed out of spending a little extra time with their dad just because their mom has a problem with who the dad is with. And is also upset that the dad finally had some courage to stick up for himself and stop getting screwed and is fighting for more time legally. I pray every single day that he is granted it. He is a great father and it wouldn't just be good for him, it would be good for Swae and Seth also.

There have been two, yes TWO, times now that Eli has asked for the kids to stay the night on a Thursday night. The first time we would have been dropping them off at 8:30, only to pick them up at 10am the next day. Her excuse for saying no? "We have something to do in the morning before you get them." Seriously? What the hell can you do with them before 10? Nothing. They ask all the time to stay with us when we have them during the week. It was funny too. When we picked them up on that Friday morning at 10, the only thing they did was get up, eat breakfast and wait for us to get there. A flat out lie is what he was told. Why??? Because she doesn't think of the kids ever and just herself. What would it hurt to let the kids stay with their FATHER an extra night? Nothing. Nothing at all. But because she feels she has "control" of the situation, she uses it. It is sickening. Absolutely disgusting.

He asked her again today if they could stay the night tonight because he is off work tomorrow. He told me he did it. I told him, you know she will say no. He said, "I know, but I want to try. I want to have more time with them." Guess what? No again. And there is absolutely no reason for it.

I am very careful about what I say in these situations considering they are in the middle of a custody case right now, but I am beside myself. I have never met anyone that has used their kids so much. I mean, she is mad at Eli, she is mad at me, she is mad at us and the wedding and the baby. That has NOTHING to do with the children and they shouldn't be the ones being punished for it. How on Earth does any mother deny her children time with their father? What the hell is she trying to prove?? What is she benefiting? I can't imagine that any judge would look at what I just wrote and think anything but negative about her and the way she is handling the divorce and the visitation.

If Kasey wants to hurt Eli, she should come after him directly and leave the kids out of it. I realize that she are upset we are together, getting married, having a baby...but it is time to get over it. We have been together for well over a year. Yes, we've had a rocky few times, but those times have made us nothing but closer, stronger, and better people. Not to mention, there have been A LOT of things given up on his part that were the cause of the problems. Please, just stop taking it out on the kids. Let them see their dad. They long for more time with him. Also, Eli isn't out to hurt Kasey in any way with the custody battle. He just wants what is fair. Right now he doesn't feel that it is fair and he knows that trying to work it out with her would have gone no where (hence why she denied that he should get more time with them). So he is doing it the best way that he knows how and just wants what is best for the kids.

Using the kids as a pawn is sick and twisted. It will be seen in the court room and is already seen by the lawyers and everyone else that knows the situation. Be fair to the kids.

Too Cute

The other day the four of us were driving in the truck and I asked the kids, "Do you think Stephie is having a boy or a girl?"

Instantly, in unison, they replied (well, more yelled with excitement), "GIRL!!!!!!"

Eli fired back, "No, it's gonna be a boy!" (he is so adamant about that!!)

I was laughing because Seth sat there arguing with Eli on what it was going to be for a good two minutes. And since he was so adamant that the baby is going to be a girl, I asked him, "Are you going to take good care if it's a baby sister."

"No! I don't like a baby sister! I only like boys."

And there you have it. If we have a girl, he wants nothing to do with it. :) He is by far the cutest little boy ever. Just seeing him and Swae from a distance warms my heart and brings a smile to my face. I am so very, very fortunate that I text Eli and was able to become a part of not only his life, but theirs (again) as well. It has changed me in so many ways and all for the better. It makes me feel so good when they get excited when talking about the baby and they ask questions. There is no doubt in my mind they will be good older siblings. I am just so thankful for a wonderful family and look forward to our future.

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, there the little one is!!!! Sorry if it is hard to see. You get the point. You can see the little leg and the sprout of the arm and the little bum and the head. I can't get enough, I have to keep looking at it. It is sitting right on my desk and is my desktop on my computer. I am still just elated. That is about all I can think about right now (other than work goings on). But it definitely is my main priority. I am so thankful that I was so lucky to have an ultrasound and be able to see my baby moving and the tiny, fast beating heart. Enjoy. I definitely am!!

Thank you to everyone for all your support and good wishes. It really means a lot to me!

We Have Ourselves A Baby

I am floating right now with excitement and happiness. Today's appointment was fantastic. At first I was a little annoyed about the wait but then when time was taken with me, I felt much better. Sitting in the waiting room, my mom started joking around with Eli and I that we could be having twins. That was not something I could comprehend at all. Could you imagine?? I sure couldn't. Having both of them there with me was awesome. I was sad that his mom couldn't make it, but she will be at the next one.

We were taken back and first thing that was done was getting weighed. I don't think there was any change from when I was in there back in June. Then I got to pee in a lovely cup. Don't you just love that?? It was then time to strip from the bottom down and wait for the nurse practitioner. My doctor is out on maternity leave, but will be back in about 5 weeks. Let me just tell you that getting undressed infront of my mom AND fiance was interesting. Next thing I knew, the nurse practitioner was in there checking something and then it was time to get the little wand ready to shove up me. It honestly wasn't that uncomfortable. It is a lot better than the duck bill thing they shove in and open you with. It didn't take her long at all to find the little sucker. My heart stopped. It was by far the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. There were legs and arms and a little bum and a head. I couldn't stop smiling and neither could Eli. She has to check my ovaries and she could tell that it was my left one that was used. It was significantly bigger than the other one and had two small cysts on it which she said was normal. She then went back to the baby. She was really trying to get the little one to move and all of a sudden, the sweet thing started moving all around. Legs and arms were all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Tears instantly hit my eyes and I didn't want her to stop. I just kept thinking, "Wow that is really a baby in me! Eli and I have made a baby together." What an incredible feeling!!!

Then the whole thing ended. Seems I was very close on my calculation of how far along I was. I was figuring I was just at 10 weeks. The nurse practitioner figured I am 9 weeks and 4 days...give or take on either end. She also calculated the same due date that I did, but we will get a better tell of that at my 20 week appointment. Turns out the little one is 2.81cm. That figures out to be 1.1 inches. That is so little. And to see the little one moving all over and flailing its limbs...ugh, insane.

Today is one of the best days ever. Our next appointment is in September. I will post the ultrasound picture tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!! Out little one is so cute.

It's Finally Here

Yep, the day that I have been waiting for since July 14 when I made the call. It's our first trip to the doctor! I can't really even begin to explain how I feel other than excited, nervous, anxious, ready. I can't wait to finally have a better idea of how far along I am, a more set due date. Just some answers to some questions we have. Not only that, but this is starting to make it all real. Not that it hasn't been real before now...but I honestly have had it so easy that I haven't really felt pregnant. Well, other than the constant hunger and being tired...and my boobs! Ugh they are still so sore. And more and more people are commenting on their size which is crazy. I am just used to hearing things about how they are no bigger than mosquito bites. My dad was the worst at teasing me while I was growing up.

Anyway! When I talked to the doctors office, they said they would be doing an ultrasound today. This made me happy because I would be annoyed if I just went in, peed on a stick and then had to come back. I've done that lots of times and they all keep saying the same thing. So it is time to see the little one. I was reading in my pregnancy book last night and I was just overcome with happiness and excitement. It just all seems to be hitting me and becoming more of a reality.

The appointment is at 3 today. I am so happy that Eli is going to be there. Sometimes with his work schedule it is hard, but I made sure that his parents knew right away and they have been awesome and planned around it. After the appointment, I am meeting up with my mom and grandma. My grandma wants to go check out the location of the wedding. She is the most creative, crafty person, so I know as soon as she sees the place she will have a million ideas running through her head to help make that day gorgeous. I will be sure to post tonight about it. And if I get a picture, I will scan it and post it tomorrow at work.

Have a great day everyone!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! =)

I am so excited, I am about to pee my pants. Come see why, HERE!!!!

Decent Weekend, How about You?

For a Monday, today went rather smooth. Nothing crazy happened and it was mostly relaxing. Couldn't ask for anything better.

The weekend was good. We got to Hawthorne late on Friday night and hung out with everyone. Then it was up early on Saturday morning, had breakfast, and were off for a long quad ride. There was eight of us that went and it was a blast. I was filthy dirty by the time we got back, but it was well worth it. As soon as we were back it was time to shower and off to the wedding. The wedding was...definitely not well planned out. There weren't enough seats for everyone, no one could hear what was going on, it seemed rushed, there wasn't enough seating or food for everyone at the reception...it was sad. Things definitely weren't planned out at all. I feel bad for the bride because I would assume that she wanted more.

Sunday was spent driving home, stopping for some yummy breakfast - biscuits and gravy. Yummy! Once back we unpacked and then took off to watch a movie. Then it was off to dinner at my parents and getting more ideas for wedding planning. We have been going through a ton of wedding magazines and getting a lot of ideas. It has really been a huge help. Plus, we got a splendid dinner out of it, so that was nice.

So that was our eventful, but not so eventful weekend. It was good but definitely not long enough and I didn't get near enough sleep. I think I might catch me a nap real quick before we take off to the store to get stuff for the week and lunches.

Now that I have taken a deep breath, think I finally got the point I was originally trying to make across, I am doing and feeling much better. Jeez. Mother's can be so difficult sometimes. My mother is amazing, just sometimes drives me crazy. I guess mom's do that at times though. I am truly thankful for her but when we argue and she doesn't listen and only hears what she wants, I want to scream along with rip my hair out. I am sure her not feeling well (ear infection and sinus infection) isn't helping much. Poor momma.

Looking forward to the weekend. Although we don't have the little ones, we will still have some fun. A friend of ours is getting married, so we are heading to Hawthorne for that. That was the same place we went horse back riding not long ago, but I don't think there will be any of that. Breaks my heart. But we will spend some time quad riding, which I also LOVE, and then enjoy the beautiful wedding. It will definitely be very nice to get out of town for the weekend and away from it all. To relax and just enjoy.

There has been some very interesting things going on at work lately. I swear, if you ever need a laugh, come sit in here for a few and you will realize that most everyone is loony! Most of it frustrates the hell out of me, but I am really trying to make light of it and see people at face value. I tell you, working with people for as long as I have, you really get to see the different layers they like to show and who they really are.

I am really missing Kara. My bestest friend moved to Vegas and I haven't seen her since the wedding. She hasn't seen my ring in person. I haven't seen her in almost a month. That to me is just insane. We used to have girls night every week and this week, it was just Tara and I. No Kara. Now that was strange. It just wasn't the same, although it was still nice and I enjoyed it. I guess I took for granted her being here, being so close, a five minute drive away. The place she is living at right now doesn't have good cell phone service so getting ahold of her even on the phone is not very easy at all. It is just weird/hard not having her here. I was so sad she wasn't able to go wedding shopping with me and experience that with me, like I did with her. I just feel her being so far away, she is going to miss out on so much. She won't get to do our girls night, we can't just go to coffee, dinner or lunch whenever the mood strikes. She won't be here to see my belly grow or feel the baby move. It just...makes me sad.

On top of her leaving, our other good friends leave tomorrow morning. They are moving to Vegas as well. Ugh. It sucks when people move away. Especially people that you are close with and enjoy spending time with. I told Tara the other night that she is probably next. I couldn't imagine!

I am working late today. I am not complaining though. That is an hour and a half of extra vacation time on the books. Can't beat that and I definitely will be able to use it for upcoming doctor appointments and stuff.

Hhhmmmmm, what else? I think that is about it. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

F-U-C-K

Sometimes it would be a shit ton easier if people would just LISTEN instead of thinking they know what is going to be said and reading their own way into shit rather than taking it exactly how it was said. Ugh, I want to scream.

Out Of the Mouth's of Babes

One day, I can't really remember what we were doing, or what Eli did, but I looked at both of the kids and I said, "Your daddy is crazy!" And Swae looked at me, got the cutest grin ever and says, "...in L-O-V-E!"

How freaking cute is that! No, no matter what happens or what is said, she always tacks that on to the end. She is always humming the wedding march song and she is constantly talking about the wedding and baby. The baby she thinks is going to be a girl...although Seth begs to differ.

Wedding Idea...

I swear there is more wedding talk going around that my head is swimming. I love it all, but man-o-man can it be overwhelming. I feel like we are getting so much accomplished, which is helpful. I knew from the beginning that Swae and Seth would both be in the wedding. There would be no way around it. But then I was thinking that it might benefit us to add one more flower girl, to stick on the other side of Seth. I remember being in a wedding when I was little and I got totally freaked to walk down the isle by myself with everyone staring at me. So I was thinking that having Swae and my cousin, Madisen, that is the same age as Swae walk with him, it would make him feel more comfortable. Eli definitely agreed. Now, I want to be sure that Swae stands out from Maddy since she is our sweet angel princess, so she will have an extra "something" to let that happen. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

Our Sweet Angel Princess Girl = Flower Girl 1
My beautifuly cousin, Madisen = Flower Girl 2
The sweet monkey boy = Ring Bearer
I think the three of them are going to look absolutely precious walking together!!!!

Seth's Birthday - July 27 - Big 3!!!

Back on July 27, Seth turned 3. I can't believe it. The way that he has changed and grown in the last year is just remarkable and I know that Eli and I couldn't be more happy or more proud of him. He is quite the little man with such a unique, wonderful personality. I am mesmerized by this little boy every day and love him more than I ever imagined possible. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for him. We had a great birthday party and are so happy that Swae was there because without her, it wouldn't have been the same at all. The following show how his special day was spent.
Seth picked out the Spider Man cake on his own. He had a hard time making up his mind.

Our sweet babies playing in their new pool.
Loving the water!
Look at what a happy girl she is. She is so gorgeous.
Each going down a slide. (not sure why it didn't load right)
Pulling all the toys out of his goody bag.

Being the silly monkey that he is waiting to blow his candle out.
He has the sweetest little face. He is definitely going to be a heart breaker!
He enjoyed opening his presents and getting new toys to play with.

His last present he got was from Eli and I. We got him a little power wheels ranger type thing. His face was priceless. I really wish I could have got it on camera. At first he didn't really didn't know what to think and then it was all smiles after that.

The cousins and best friend Connor taking a spin.
Happy little birthday boy.
Best buds. Only 5 days apart. They have so much fun together.
Checking things out. So cute.
The day couldn't have turned out more perfect. Family and friends. Two wonderful kids with huge smiles. I am so very blessed and am so thankful each and every day. Seth is still pulling out new things that he got from his birthday and gets so excited. I love it.

Peace Offering

Over the weekend I hurt a friends feelings and that is something that I hate doing. I hate when I know that I let someone down. I hate when I don't keep my word. It isn't the person that I am and then I feel like a big piece of shit for quite some time. Rather than let myself feel like that for too long, I made sure to rectify the situation as best as I could. Granted, it still doesn't make up for not being there on the special day, I think it at least helped a little.

I not only took a present for the birthday that was missed, but I brought my good friend some chocolate. I tried to have sad eyes too because I heard she can't be mad at sad eyes. Shannon, I am truly sorry for letting you down. I know no matter what I do, it doesn't excuse it, but I hope today at least helped a little. I really enjoyed the time that we spent and playing with Brandon. He is such a little man and reminds me so much of Seth in so many ways. I can't wait to get the two of them together. In fact, I enjoyed tonight so much, that I had a hard time leaving to go to a BBQ with Eli and our kids. I honestly can't wait until the next time. It was a blast. And hopefully you enjoy your little peace offering. I know I enjoyed my share already!!!!

What the Heck?

Hopefully I didn't speak too soon. This morning was going great. I munched on some pretzels on the way to work and then ate some yogurt. Wasn't too long after the yogurt that I was sitting at my desk and a huge wave of nausea came over me and I knew I needed to get my ass down the hall to the bathroom. Sure enough, up came the yogurt. What the hell?? I have been feeling so great, no sickness and then that just randomly out of no where. I do hope that this isn't an all the time thing!

Productive Weekend

After I got through the viewing, service, burial, and wake, I was exhausted. I do have to say that my Grams had the most beautiful casket I have ever seen. Everything turned out perfect. As a family we were all able to mourn, comfort each other, and then share stories to remember the most wonderful lady of all time.

Before I knew it, Saturday morning was here and it was time to get up and focus on wedding planning. With the baby on the way, we have a lot to get done. My mom is a stresser. She can't wait until the last minute on anything and is really striving to have all the wedding planning stuff done and set before the baby comes. We definitely have a busy year ahead of us that is for sure. My mom, although controlling at times, always has my best interest in mind. And I have to thank her. She took it upon herself to schedule all of my Saturday. She had appointments to look at wedding locations at 10 and 12, lunch, and then dress shopping. Holy crap, it was a LONG day. We fell in love with the first place that we went to. It is absolutely perfect and definitely matches both Eli and my style. It was absolutely gorgeous and it was easy to imagine the wedding and how everything would be laid out. The second place we went to was an easy no. I liked nothing about it. It was too...I don't know, not us AT ALL. But we got an excellent lunch out of it. That is one thing they do have it yummy food and I was starving by that point.

Then my mom, sister, Swae and I were off to dress shop. I have been dress shopping with other people and participated in modeling wedding dresses, but shopping for my own was such an incredible experience. The wave of emotion that runs through your body when you have on the "right" dress is indescribable. It was the best feeling I have ever felt before. I tried on a ton of dresses but definitely found the perfect one. It happened to be the first dress that I tried on too. Swae tried on flower girl dresses and there is one that definitely stands out above the rest and she looks like quite the angel in it. I spent Saturday night thinking about the dress. I couldn't get it out of my mind. So Sunday I had my mom, two aunts, and Shannon meet me to get their opinions before I bought it. Most everyone was torn between two dresses. Both were beautiful in different ways, but my dress, is the perfect one for me. And I think that everyone agreed on that. The decision was made and we ordered the dress!!!!

What a huge step down and out of the way. I knew that I needed to get that as soon as possible with weight on the way and I am just so happy that it worked out so well and went so easy and smooth. I am also so very thankful for my aunt's and Shannon being there to help me and being so supportive. I am truly grateful and so very much appreciative. I am stoked to have so much done already. I know that it is really going to help out since there is baby planning going on as well. So...YAY!!!!