Time To Mourn

Tonight is the beginning of laying my Sweet Grams to rest. 4pm starts the family viewing, then 5pm for everyone else and then the Rosary. I don't know how ready I am for tonight at all. I know that my mom is an absolute wreck and that is super hard for me considering she is the strong one of the family. Not only that, I have such a strong vivid picture of her healthy in my mind. Not when she was sick and not doing well. Man-o-man. Thank God I will be surrounded by my family, the people that matter most in this world. Our family is full of so much love, I am seriously blessed.

Tomorrow morning at 10, is the funeral, followed by the burial at our family cemetery, and then the wake after. It is going to be an emotional rest of the week.

Just For You Lindz

I don't know how far along I am. I would say between 6-8 or something like that, but will know more when I go to the doctor in two weeks. I do know I am very bloated and a little stopped up. I feel great. I get tired a lot, but I can live with that. I am still super blessed not having any morning sickness or anything. So that is great. I have noticed that my boobs are killing me! I am not used to this at all. My little itty bitty's never have felt like this. Hugs even hurt! It's crazy. I ran down the hall the other day and almost died. I found myself grasping for my mosquito bites to make sure they made as little movement as possible! I had a couple co-workers get a good chuckle watching me.

Some Amazing News

It may not be that new to some, but to most it will be. Not only am I engaged and planning a wedding, Eli and I are expecting our first child together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't think I could handle any more good news after Eli proposed, but then I went home and took a test since I didn't start while I was at Kara's wedding like I was supposed to and it was positive. I thought my head was going to fall off. I mean, that is A LOT of good news to take in all in one night!!! We are both beyond excited. Like Eli said, that couldn't have been a more special, perfect day, ever. I have waited to post it due to the fact that we owed it to the kids and the family to tell them first. My mom and dad are hysterical. My dad calls almost daily to make sure that I am eating and feeding his 'grandbaby'. Mom is always just calling to check up and ask questions. It is cute. Eli's mom cried when we told her from excitement and his dad is pretty stoked as well. He is a man of few words, but the way that he is and the few things he has said, you know that he is excited. This is my families first grandchild, other than Swae and Seth being a part of the family.

Swae and Seth are elated. Seth can't stop telling everyone that he is going to be a 'big broter' and beaming the whole time! The two them are constantly coming over to my belly and rubbing it, kissing it, and talking to the baby. I love it. Swae will not leave my side without kissing my tummy first and giving it a little rub. And she is already coming up with names. And they are sure to tell everyone they see that they have a baby on the way.

So there you have it. All my dreams are coming true and I couldn't be more excited and happy over it. Eli is absolutely amazing and has already started limiting me on EVERYTHING. He is all about me pampering myself and the baby, which is thinks is going to be a boy. Both our families are guessing a girl. I am so looking forward to this journey. So far it has been great, even if I am tired all the time. I am not sick though and couldn't be more thankful for that. First doctor appointment is in a couple weeks, so we will hopefully know more then.

The Beautiful Grams

Now that I am at work, I was fortunate enough to find a couple pictures of my Grams. These were taken last summer at our family reunion. She always dressed so nice and never missed out on anything to do with family...even if it was roasting outside and she was uncomfortable.

Everyone loved to be around her. Her presence just warmed the heart. Like my cousin mentioned this morning, Grams has left footprints on all our hearts.

The following is a poem that my cousin sent out today to the family that she read to Grams just a few days ago. I think it is beautiful and holds very true for my Grams.

Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Pure Saddness

I got a phone call tonight that no one likes to get. My great-grandmother, Nora, passed away this evening around 7pm. We have all known that she has been going downhill, but no matter how much you think you prepare yourself for the time to come, it still isn't easy at all. She was one of the most beautiful, wonderful women I have ever known. She had a heart of gold and loved more than anyone else I have ever known. She is amazing. She fought breast cancer. Her hair was so thin, she wore wigs and loved so much when we would braid her read hair because it felt good...even if she did hide it. Her nails were always long, strong and painted red. And boy did she give the best tickle rubs in all the world. Maybe that is why I am still addicted to them to this day. No matter how bad a situation, she was there to smile and pick you up. Ugh, am I going to miss her smile. And the way that she calls us all 'honey'. And the the tickle rubs. To have her presence at family function...mainly holidays.

It breaks my heart because I didn't get the chance to tell her two things. One being that I was engaged. But like Eli said, she will watching over all our life now and enjoying. And she will be there with us next year on our special day.

I am thankful that she isn't in pain or suffering and knowing she is in a peaceful place. I just wish I would have had one more time with her. To tell her I love her.

I love you Grandma Nora. And I will miss you dearly...and so will the rest of the family.

Know what I love??

When Eli makes me a yummy sandwich to bring to work and I fill it with Doritos. Yum yum!!!

What a Difference

I am in shock at what a difference a year makes!!! My goodness. It is insane to me to look at pictures of the kiddos from when Eli and I first got together til now! Seth no longer looks like a baby and is starting to look like a little man. Ugh, I want to squeeze him. And Swae, that angel just gets more and more beautiful with time.


I fall more and more in love with them every time I see them and every time they run over to just snuggle me. I love every single minute that I get to spend with them and am so lucky to be a part of their lives and a part of their growth. Eli and I are very blessed.

Happiest Day Ever!!! July 13, 2008

The day started off a little low. It was the day after the gorgeous wedding, but also the day that I was saying goodbye to my best friend who will now be living in Vegas. And I have no idea when I will be seeing her again. Oh the tears that flowed when I had to leave for the airport. We were both quite the mess. Eli text me how I was doing and I told him I was sad, but excited to see him. He reassured me he would be at the airport to pick me up and he would do what he could to cheer me up. The flight took forever, or so it seemed. As soon as the plane landed, I text him letting him know and that I couldn't wait to see him. Haha...then we had to sit on the runway for twenty minutes waiting for a plane to leave the gate we needed to pull into. Longest twenty minutes!!!!! Thankfully I sat close to the front of the plane (3rd row!) and was off quick.

One of my friends was on the flight back and I told him that I would meet him at baggage claim. I had major butterflies walking down the long hallway past security to get to Eli. I could see him from a distance. His height is wonderful like that! I saw his face as I was getting closer and I couldn't stop smiling. About fifteen feet from him, I couldn't take it anymore and just started running and jumped in his arms. See look!

It wasn't until after being in his arms for a bit that I noticed that my parents were standing behind him and his parents behind them. Then I noticed my sister and roommate videoing and taking pictures. I remember saying, "What the fuck is everyone doing here?" And yes, it is on video. I didn't mean to say it, but it slipped. I was so shocked. And I think at the point it hit me what was about to happen. Next thing I knew, Eli was down on one knee. I was so happy, excited, shocked and caught off guard that I almost forgot to say yes! Just kidding. It just took me a minute to get my breath to say it.I was however so overwhelmed that I didn't really get a good look at the ring, but knew that it fit just right. You can see from my face just how much shock I was in!
He couldn't stop smiling either. I think this was the point after I said yes when I was saying what an emotional weekend it had been for me and couldn't stop smiling!!
Then it was time to kiss my fiance! It still really hadn't set in and still is setting in. What an amazing feeling.

Clearly still overwhelmed, but completely happy.
Needing much more love from him! Finally getting around to hug everyone there. My dad was pretty happy!
Me hugging my mom while dad shook Eli's hand and congratulated him.
Hugging Eli's mom...she looks super happy! She even cried.
Giving Sr. some love!
Look at that smile. He was a happy camper and still is. Wakes up happier than ever in the morning and just has a different beat to him every day all day. My parents look pretty happy.
More squeezes.
Still trying to take it in.
Completely in shock still and trying to catch my breath.
The engaged couple. Aren't we cute!?!??!!!!
Such a dark picture you can't see the ring. I will post pictures later of it.
Going to get my bags.
The two families at dinner and them toasting us!

I couldn't be more happy. We told the little ones last night. They were stoked. Swae asked if it could be this August because she doesn't want to have to wait until next year! She is so cute. I even let her wear the ring for a few. She is too freaking cute. Seth kept talking about being in the wedding. Eli did a fantastic job and I am still glowing!!!

Holy SHIT!!!!!!

Come see HERE what has me in an uproar!!!

I had a fabulous weekend. The wedding turned out absolutely gorgeous. It was definitely hard saying goodbye to Kara and not knowing when I would see her again. But overall, what a happy time. The wedding was full of tons of love and all sorts of happiness. My best friend looked like an absolute princess and was glowing the whole time. I am so honored that I was a part of it. More to come on that! :)

Happy 28 year Anniversary Mom & Dad!

These two are the most amazing people that I know. They have been the most wonderful, loving, caring parents anyone could ask for. 28 years they have put up with each other and made it!! And they are still happy. I look up to these two so very much. They have been through good times and the bad and are still happy and so in love. I am so thankful to be blessed with such a wonderful family and great parents.

Congratulations for making it this far. Two more years and its the big 3-0!!! :) Enjoy your special day. I love you both with all my heart.

It's Finally Here

I can't believe that this weekend is already here. It's been two years that we have been planning and waiting! Two years ago on May 1, 2006, my best friend got engaged. It was a fabulous day. It took months of planning for Paul to pull off the engagement and the best thing was, all their friends were there and got to witness the WHOLE thing (Kara of course had no idea until after). It was perfect. They didn't plan to have such a long engagement, but had to in order for them to get married in the beautiful place that they are: Park City, UT. Paul's godfather just built a gorgeous home and the landscaping is phenomenal. It's been two years of dress shopping, finding the perfect colors, the perfect flowers, making trips to Park City, and so much more. And today is the day that we fly there for the wedding on Saturday!!!! I can't wait.

I am not only excited for the wedding, but I am excited to see my best friend. She has been in Europe for the past three and a half weeks and then was only in town for a day before her and Paul headed to Vegas...their new home. :( Before they left on their trip, they packed up their whole house and it was rented. So many big things going on at once. It has been forever (at least it seems like it) since I have seen her and I just can't wait to give her a big hug.

I am not sure what we have planned to do this afternoon once we land. I think it will be more of just a dinner thing. Then tomorrow we are going to get mani's and pedi's! Tomorrow night we might go out in downtown Park City for her final night out before getting married. Friday will bring the rehearsal brunch and who knows what else. Saturday = THE BIG DAY!!! There is no doubt in my mind that the entire thing will be perfect and beautiful. I will definitely be taking a ton of pictures and will share them when I get back.

My Sweet Best Friend

My P-Bizzle, Paul
I love this girl!!
The Threesome
It is very hard for me right now to put words to how I feel. This trip will definitely be amazing, but I know the end of it is going to be very tough. We will be going our separate ways...them to Vegas, us to Reno. I can't even imagine what it is going to be like not to have her down the street. To not be able to call and say, "Let's go get coffee real quick." To have all the BBQ's, the movie nights, the nights out for a couple drinks. I know that Vegas isn't across the country, but it is still change. It is still different. And I am going to miss her so very much. Looks like my next trip will be to Vegas to visit. Cause I know I can't go too long in between seeing her and hanging out with her.

Congratulations Paul and Kara. What an amazing journey and one that I am so lucky and proud to be a part of!!! I love you both!

Going Going...GONE!

Yesterday, I watched my baby drive away with someone other than me behind the wheel. ~tear~ It was really sad. I didn't think that it would be that hard, but it was. My truck was my baby. Before I turned 16, all I wanted was a Toyota Tacoma. All that we found were too expensive for my parents, so I settled with a Ford Ranger as my first vehicle. I was definitely a truck girl. More days than not after school I would go off roading with my friend. It was always so much fun.

About a year later, the truck just wasn't cutting it for me and I was ready for something else. So I looked and looked and ended up at a car show one weekend. The very next day, I took my parents down to the Dodge dealership where we leased me a Neon. It was brand new. At first I was in love it and then I realized, it just wasn't what I wanted. I kept it for quite awhile though and then started looking around. I have a friend that owns Saturn and talked to him constantly about what it would take for me to get out of my car and into something else. That something else I wanted was still a Tacoma. He told me it was pretty much impossible.

April 12, 2004 - my 22nd birthday, I got a call from my friend telling me to get down to the dealership. He informed me they took in a nice looking Tacoma on trade and warned me that it hadn't been through detail yet, but it was very nice and clean looking. I didn't hesitate. I got down there as quick as I could and I fell in love. Even not all shiny clean, it was still beautiful. My friend and I talked back and forth about how we could make it work. The next day or the day after he was saying that it wasn't going to work out because of my car and that the payments would be too much. Then...

April 16, 2004 I was in an accident. The one that totally has fucked up my back and neck and will forever be something that I live with. The accident was not my fault, but my car was totaled none the less. It was devestating and one of the most scary experiences ever. But I survived and so did Tara (who was in front of me). That night sitting in the emergency room, I realized, I needed a new car. I knew there was no way that my car was worth more than the damage done to it. So the very next morning (a Friday), I called and told my friend I would be picking up the truck. I called my back, did all the loan paperwork and all was good to go. I remember going down to the dealership to test drive it and one of the salesmen told me I couldn't because the truck was sold. My heart sunk. I must have looked devasted and deflated because he then asked if I was the one buying it and handed me the keys.

It has been a wonderful vehicle. I would have loved to keep it because there is nothing wrong with it at all and it runs like a champ. But having a family now, it isn't very logical. The "family car" is a much better option for us. Watching the truck drive off yesterday tugged at my heart strings and brought so many memories, but I know that I did the right thing for my family by selling it.

My Aunt - Update

It is hard to believe that the woman in this picture has cancer. Ugh, it breaks my heart. I went last night to watch my cousin play in her volleyball tournament and I couldn't help but shower my aunt with love an affection. I could tell that she wasn't herself and that it was on her mind. And I know that she is scared and she was trying to hide it and be strong.

She tried getting in to see the surgeon last week, but wasn't able to. So she had to wait until this morning. Those days were very long for her and made her very anxious and nervous as well. I loved hanging out with her last night and talking to her.

This morning was a bit stressful. Mom talked to her before her appointment this morning and said that she was super nervous. My uncle was there for her, so she wasn't alone and she knew she had support. The appointment was at 9. Around 10:30 I still hadn't heard anything, so I called my mom and she said that it might be awhile. The waiting game sucked.

My phone rang a little before noon and it was my mom. She had just got off the phone with my aunt who was crying. Heart = broken. I hate that. She is scheduled for surgery July 16 at noon. The doctor seems to be pretty optimistic, so that is a positive. He will be taking a good part of her bronchial tube and hopefully not as much lung as he initially thought, but won't know until he is in there. She will be in the hospital for 4-5 days. :(

She is upset because she is scared. And to add to it, we have our big family vacation starting the 18th. She feels like she is screwing up the plans and letting people down because her and my uncle won't go and my cousins probably won't either. And at that point, I don't know if the rest of us will go either. I mean, she will be done with her surgery, but it won't be the same without her there and everyone is just going to be thinking about her and worrying about her. So we will see. She is just so bummed and feels like she is a burden...which is so not the truth at all.

I hate that she is going through this, but know that she is strong enough to take it on. I know that she can beat this. She has so much love and support. She is such a wonderful, loving person. I will continue to pray for her and send lots of love. I know she needs it right now.

Rodeo Pics!!!! Finally (June 26)

As mentioned, we took the little ones to the rodeo last week on Thursday and had the greatest time. We were sure to get down there early so they could ride some rides. I really got a LOT of great pictures, but picked out the better ones so I didn't overwhelm all of you. Enjoy the little babies. It is clear to see they had a great time!!!

Ok, the little one is growing up. Swae used the last of her tickets to go down the slide and Seth was dead set on riding the "little" roller coaster...and he did it all on his own!!! I was a little worried he would be scared. Not so much. He loved it.

These horses are gorgeous.

All four of us had a wonderful time. Seth was way tuckered though and was out like a light almost before we got to the car. Swae was high off excitement and talked our ears off the whole way to their mom's. I love experiencing so many things with them. And we have some fun coming up this weekend!!!