This and That

I don't know what is going on, but as the day progresses, I feel more and more like shit. Ugh... I really hope that I am not getting sick. I hate being sick. I can't decided if it is my stomach or my throat. At times my throat will feel like it is getting scratchy and sore and then other times it feels fine. My stomach, well it just hasn't been right all day. And I definitely think that the flu is the worst ever and am praying that I am not getting the flu. Swae had the flu and was sick Tuesday when we had them and Eli is sick today. Poor thing woke up getting sick first thing this morning. He is a trooper though because he made it to work for at least half the day (still getting sick). Now he is home and resting. I hope my pain is just sympathy for him!!

I am so excited for tonight. While Eli lays around at home, I will be meeting up with the guy I used to coach with and two of our old volleyball girls. We are going to pizza and then the UNR basketball game. I haven't seen my volleyball girls in forever. They were by far my favorites. I was always told that I couldn't have favorites, but I couldn't help it. These girls are freaking awesome. And even though they graduated and are in college now, we still keep in touch. It makes me feel like I had some sort of an impact on their life. I was invited by them and their families to go on their graduation trip to Mexico. I didn't go, but that just goes to show how close I was with them. Plus, I love watching the game. I just hope that I feel better than I do right now. If I wasn't so excited and hadn't had these plans for over a month, I would definitely not go.

Oh!! Last night after work I got a facial. I don't get them very often and the only time that I do get them is when I get a gift certificate for them (which is usually from my mom). Well, when I was moving offices, I was going through a drawer and found a gift certificate that my parents got me for Christmas. But it wasn't the Christmas we just had, it was Christmas 2006!!!!!!! Yea, I suck. When I called them, they said that it had expired and asked if the gift certificate showed and expiration date. Lucky for me, it didn't and I was able to use it. It was wonderful. So relaxing. The lady that I had was cute. She was older and was very into disclosing a ton of information about herself and her life. When it got to the part where she massaged my neck and arms and stuff, I was out! I was so comfortable that I just couldn't stay awake. It was a very nice little pampering session. My face feels great and has a little extra glow.

Ok, back to getting just a couple more things done before my fun night out!

Still Kickin'

I am totally still here, but have been so crazy busy that the thought of blogging is just out of the question. Even right now, I shouldn't be taking even the couple minutes that I am to just check in, but I am. I don't want any of you thinking that I fell off the planet or something.

Nope, still here, still kicking and just busy as ever. I don't have any down time at work right now. It is kind of nice having work to do and being busy all the time, but I do miss a little down time where I am able to blog about random things with me or read other blogs. I did start writing a post the other day and the stupid thing got erased some how. The damn auto save thing wasn't working and it just pissed me off. I didn't even re-write the post or anything. Now I don't even remember what it was that I was writing about. Oh well.

Anyway, have to get back to work. I will try to write some more later or at least tomorrow.

Big Night Out

Last night was just what the Dr. ordered. A night out with my friends - dancing, cocktails, great people. Doesn't get much better than that. I hadn't been out downtown and dancing in forever. I think the last time was some time in February...maybe shortly there after. It isn't because of Eli either. I was getting tired of the going out scene. Doing the same thing ALL the time, seeing the same people, getting drunk, feeling like shit the next day, hangovers, spending too much money. I was just over it.

I was a little hesitant about going out last night. I mean, it had been months. I was all nervous getting ready and trying to figure out what to wear. Then I got all weirded out wondering what it was going to be like being out for the first time in forever, if I would fit in, if I would have fun or just absolutely hate it.

It turned out wonderful. Everyone that I used to party with made it out. Everyone was more than excited for me to be out and it was just a wonderful time. I danced and danced. Everyone was still raring to go at midnight and that was when I started to get tired and be ready to go home. But, I rallied and was able to pull off staying out with everyone til 3am. While it was a wonderful time, I don't think I will find myself going out again any time soon. It was fun, but something that would have to be in small doses. I guess I have just gotten to the point where I don't really want to party all the time. I enjoy my down time and home time very much.

I am super tired today. Thankfully I am not hungover though. So I plan on spending the rest of the day relaxing. It will be a nice end to my weekend. Ugh, work already tomorrow!

Weekend

So happy that it's Friday and my work day is over. YAY!!!! I really can't complain because it wasn't a bad day. It was just a long one and a very busy one. I was told mid-morning that a few more job duties were being added to my work performance standards, so there wasn't much down time. I definitely wasn't complaining either about the work being given to me because I would much rather have too much work, than not enough and be bored. That is really the worst.

This was one heck of a week in so many ways. I am now looking forward to some down time, relaxing time this weekend. Only have my Grandma's birthday planned on Sunday and that is it so far. Lately, there hasn't been any time at all to breathe on the weekend, let alone relax. Always running here and there and having this and that to do. While it is fun and I enjoy it all, some down time is always great too.

Enjoy the weekend all.

Office Move

My goodness. For this week only being a 4 day work week due to the holiday on Monday, it sure has been a long one! That is how it always seems to work out though - the short weeks last longer than a normal work week. I have been incredibly busy this week. I finally got to move over into the new office, my own office, on Tuesday afternoon. I am still in between jobs and am still doing the work of both, but I am starting to not feel so misplaced. It is nice having my things with me and adjusting to life in a single office.

Ever since I have started working, I have always shared an office with at least one other person. For the last 10 months, I have been in an office with two others and my boss close by since one wall is a door that opens to her office. That office gets a lot of traffic. The phone is always ringing, people are always coming in whether it be workers needing something or other people on campus dropping off/picking things up. I always had someone to talk to. Always had someone there even if there wasn't any words being spoken, they were still just feet away. Yes, there are plenty of times when I found myself alone in there, but there were still the other people coming in.

This new office is right next door to the old one. It is very small and a little cluttered at the moment. I have rearranged where the computer sits. I can't stand at all having my back to the door. I don't know how people can work like that. It almost gives me anxiety... Anyway. Moved the computer and am still in the process of rearranging other things. The job still isn't "official" so I really can't do too much or get too comfortable. I do know that one change I am going to make is get rid of a file cabinet that completely boxes me in and put in two lateral file cabinets in the corner of the room. This will significantly open the room up and not make me feel so claustrophobic.

Things are going very well at work. I have been busy and feel like I definitely have a purpose here. This would explain for my lack of posting. Hopefully I will have some more to say over the weekend/next week.

It's GROWING!

I was talking to Kara on her way home from work last night and my present got brought up. She says, "Oh, I haven't checked it in a couple days..." Come to find out, she had to hide it in a drawer because Tara's boyfriends dad came over and they didn't think it appropriate to have that lying on the counter. As soon as she got home though, she pulled it out of the drawer and sent me the picture!

I do have to admit we were both a little disappointed. We were hoping for it to be busting out of the bowl. Looking at it cracks me up!

Baby!!!!!

The girl who's babyshower I went to a couple weekends ago had her baby this morning! =) I am so happy for their family. The baby is absolutely beautiful. A sweet baby girl! They are already blessed with two boys. I was so excited to get the picture text this morning and now can't wait to go visit them in the hospital this afternoon. YAY!!! I love babies!

Looks Like...

I am not the only one that enjoyed our girl time last Thursday. From my talk with the girls, they seemed to enjoy it too and now we are making more and more plans together. This week, considering we all have different schedules, we will only be able to go to lunch the end of the week. That is ok with me though because I would rather that than not see them at all. And then I think next week we are going to plan on another dinner night. I seriously can't wait!!!

And this weekend, I get to see my family. not just my parents and sister, but my aunts and uncles and grandma. I am so excited. We are all getting together for my grandma's birthday. She had a bit of a scare last week. She went to the doctor because she was having some chest pain and a little trouble breathing and they ended up admitting her to the hospital. They didn't really find anything wrong with her. Just ran a couple tests. Bottom line is that she isn't active enough and she definitely needs to eat better. She lives alone and doesn't work, so really, she doesn't do much of anything all day but play on the computer and watch TV. She has way too much stress on her heart. The scare was so big that she is now moving in with my parents in March. I am just glad that it wasn't super serious and that she is ok. It is her birthday we will be celebrating and I am just so thankful that she is around for it. After last Friday, it really opens your eyes that something bad could happen out of no where. Some family time is going to be awesome.

My Gift from Kara

HAHAH! I am laughing just thinking about this, so I figure I will share. Kara got me a little gift that was supposed to be funny and a joke. She got me a "sex toy". I know fun huh? But it isn't one that you can use. It is one of those that starts out the size of say a paperclip, then you put it in water and in 10 days it grows to 600 times its size. I was rolling when I opened it and so was she. Come to find out, she got one for Tara, but hers was a little different than mine. We were definitely amused by this for a little while.

This is what it looked like in the package. The pictures are blurry because they were taken on my cell.

We had to put it in water. I didn't realize that it took 10 days to get to its max size. We were waiting and waiting and nothing really was changing. Then I read and realized why.

Here we are getting a little action from my new toy!

I don't know if Kara actually licked it, but it sure looks like it!!!

Tara just loves the toy in general...as you can see from her big smile.

I left the toy at Kara's in the bowl of water. We moved it from the cup it started out in to a tupperware bowl. When it started out it was just the size of the middle square and after three days, I got the following picture.

It's growing!!!! My friends crack me up. They look like they are so innocent, yet can be dirty! Oh the fun times that we have had!

Love My Girls

It's been a few days since my last post, but I have to say that I am feeling much better. I don't feel blah and I definitely am feeling more like me. Always a good thing. I really do attribute all that I was feeling to hormones and maybe a couple other things. I am just glad that I am on an even level right now!

My night with the girls was awesome! It has been far too long since I had seen them, yet it seemed like no time had passed. I got to Kara's before Tara did and her and had a glass of wine and just chatted. Once Tara was there, we started talking about wedding stuff for Kara's upcoming wedding and just talking. It is amazing how therapeutic talking with your best girl friends can be. Kara made us a yummy dinner that she just happened to throw together with a quickness and then we finally exchanged Christmas presents from each other. It really didn't take long at all before the two of them drowned out my BLAH mood. I was instantly cheered up, laughing, and feeling great. They were just what I needed. It left me wanting to spend more time with them. In fact, we ended up going to lunch on Friday. It was so nice, except for the hungover feeling I was feeling! Ugh, I don't know why I do that to myself. I really didn't even drink that much and think that mixing had something to do with it. We are now planning on meeting up again sometime later this week. I don't want there to be such a lapse in time before seeing them again. I truly couldn't ask for two better best friends.

BLAH

Let me just tell you all that I am a whole bundle of emotions right now. And I have no idea why or anything like that. Everything in my life is going good. I have a good job, I am good at what I do. I have a great boyfriend and his two wonderful kids, awesome home life. I have a wonderful family, great friends, work with good people. I have so much wonderful.

Then, I have this little black cloud that has been following me around all week. It is so weird. It is unexplainable. I think that I just have a lot on my mind, but I don't even know how to or where to start sorting everything out. I am feeling very anxious, overwhelmed, agitated, irritated, happy, sad, and the list goes on. I pretty much sound like a wreck and have no reason. If I wasn't ready to cry right now, I would probably start laughing at what a child I am acting like and how silly at the same time. I guess it being my time of the month could be adding too all this (sorry if TMI), but I don't know if that is it either. Normally, I don't ever feel any different when I am on other than sometimes being a little sensitive/emotional. This week: EXTREMELY sensitive and very emotional.

Tonight, I am going to go spend some time with my girlfriends. They always make me feel better. It has been far too long since the three of us have hung out and I realized today just how much I miss them. And from the emails that I have gotten today, they miss me as well. So it looks like a relaxed night with great company is in store and hopefully that will help kick whatever the hell is going on with me and my emotions.

Tomorrow is another day and I am hoping that it will be a more happy, lighter, better day all the way around.

Well Shit

Guess what?

Didn't go walk with mom. I got held up at work late and was still planning on going. I left her a message I would be a little late and she called back leaving a message saying that she would rather not do it tonight. She had a plethora of excuses: long day at work, stressful, tired, sore, feels like getting a sore throat. Oh well. Guess I will have to wait til Sunday to see her, but at least then I will get to see my dad and sister too. Gosh it has been too freaking long.

I probably should have took my happy ass to the gym today since mom couldn't make it. Should being the opportune word. I definitely didn't. Instead, Eli and I went out to dinner with his parents. Just what I needed. I wonder how many times I should run (literally) up and down the hall at work tomorrow to burn all them calories??? A lot, too many to think of and to get away with at work.

Maybe I should try to be one of those crazy people that gets up at 4am to go work out before going to work. I used to do that back when I was still going to college and working almost 40 hours a week. I lived far from the gym though and didn't like getting ready there at all. Now, I live about ten minutes away and really could still be able to get ready at home. Huh...something to think about.

Right now though I am so tired, I am going to put on a movie and curl myself up to Eli and snuggle. That is the only thing that sounds remotely good. I need some sleep...I am definitely tired and just a little bit cranky!

Walkin' w/Mom

I haven't seen my family since Christmas. Maybe it was right after, but I know I haven't seen them this year yet! That is so unlike me. It's not my fault though. Every time we have plans, something always comes up (and usually on their end) and its canceled. It ranges from mom being too tired, dad being up all night the night before working and too tired and most recently, my sister being sick. Well, I know that I don't want to get sick and I sure don't want the other three getting sick either. So I have steered clear until she is better.

But I miss them. My sister texts me daily telling me how much she loves and misses me. It is so cute. And my parents tell me all the time too when I am talking to them. Mom and I were emailing back and forth the other day and decided that we should have dinner on Sundays. It will be a standing thing that we all know about and can plan around. I thought that was a good idea. Not only that, but my mom is training for a marathon (she isn't going to run it, a mix of run/walk) and asked if I would start walking with her a couple days a week. Hell yes! Exercise and spending time with mom - can't beat it! This will be good for us. And definitely me. Remember the post about getting my ass in the gym?? Still hasn't happened. I did get some exercise hiking my ass back and forth from the truck over the weekend up a freaking hill. That felt good, but totally kicked my ass.

Best part will totally be seeing my family. They are so wonderful and I just love the shit out of them.

A Little Bit of Everything

Being caught up is the most wonderful feeling! It truly is. So much better than being stressed and running back and forth from office to office and feeling behind. It is job security though and it did help my days go by faster than this one is going.

Lately I have been very productive at home. I don't sit down when I walk in the door. The minute I set my purse down I am back on the go - here and there - always picking something up, wiping something up. It is such a great feeling and I love so much when my house is clean. I swear I don't just pick up after two kids, it is really three. And most the time I think Eli is the one that makes the bigger mess. Gotta love him!

Tonight might be a wine and pain pill night after we drop the kids back off to their mom. I am in so much pain. You would think that I would start to get use to it. Just doesn't happen though. The case is moving forward though. I have a meeting toward the end of the month and so hopefully I will know more after that. I was going to schedule my epidural for this month, but will now put it off til February. I am really trying to take off as little time as possible from work. I love seeing that my time is building. That damn cruise diminished it all! It was well worth it though.

That's all for today. I am going to wrap a few things up before I get out of here.

Ice Fishing

I got off work on Friday and on my drive home made sure to have in my mind all that I wanted/needed to pack for the big outing ice fishing. It is something that I have never done and was definitely looking forward to going. When I got home I was utterly surprised. Eli was completely packed and ready to go. And not just his stuff, mine as well. I was a little nervous leaving the house and not being able to see and know for sure what he packed for me, but he assured me that I would be plenty warm. I knew that the whole trip could be ruined if I were to be cold, but I trust Eli, so we walked out the house not even five minutes after I got there. We stopped and picked up his friend and his little boy and were on the road.

The trip there was nice...a little long but bearable. It is about a three hour drive and the stretch of highway we were on is really the loneliest ever! But the little boy was a chatter box and kept us laughing. Once there, we checked into our beauty of a motel and then hit the road to go out by the ranch where we went spot lighting a few months back. We drove and drove around, but didn't see any bunnies. We were just talking about turning around and heading back to the motel since we weren't seeing anything when all of a sudden a HUGE mountain lion ran across the road. And I am not even lying when I am saying this thing was HUGE!!! It was the craziest thing ever. I feel very fortunate seeing one because I know that seeing one is a rare thing. I had the spot light on him for awhile, but he was long gone. We definitely scared the shit out of him. On our way back out the road we were on, we saw one lonely bunny. Eli got a shot off and dropped it right in its tracks.

Back to the room we went. I am not much of a girly girl at all and don't have to stay in a 5 star hotel to be happy. I can stay in pretty much anything, but this motel that we stayed at was pushing my standards to the limit. I was scared to lay in the bed, walk on the floor without shoes on, definitely couldn't even form an opinion about the bathroom. I truly couldn't even believe that we were actually staying there and really think that we might have been better staying in the truck, but I was drunk when we got back and found the bed to be rather nice for my little ass to pass out in. Morning came and I was able to capture a couple pictures of our lovely little room. Let me just tell you that the heater didn't work and the light that you see is the only one that worked out of 3-4.

That is the bed that we decided to sleep in. It was a little smaller than the other one in the room, but it was away from the window.

The best shot of the whole room that I could get.

Just across the street was the Cafe/Bar in town. The food was...not so great. I even found a piece of plastic on my toast while eating it. The guy that was working in the cafe that morning was telling us that he has 13 dogs and 8 kids. If I ever wondered what people in that town did, I don't anymore. It is obvious they just drink and have sex. When leaving, I had to take a picture of the little dive that we stayed at. Ugh, I don't think that I will stay there again, but I don't think that either of the other two would be a better bet.

Ah, the lovely little dive motel in Austin, NV.

This right here was the office for that lovely motel. When you walk in, it is so tight and stuffy. There is only like four feet of room to move around in.

Here is the Cafe/Bar. The cafe is on the left and bar on the right. The outside looks a lot better than the inside!

Here is a shot of the beginning of where the little town starts.

And here is the end! It really is one of the smallest towns I have ever seen!

After we were done with breakfast, we were back in the truck and driving to this pond. Along the way we ran into some deer crossing the road. No, we didn't literally hit them. We slowed down to let them cross. There was at least 20 of them.

A bit further down the road, we saw a lonely crow perched. And dating the guy that I am, we were stopped and the gun was out and shooting.

There were black feathers everywhere after he shot...

A random turn off the road and we were headed up into the mountains that we completely covered with snow. It really was gorgeous. I never would have imagined in a million years that the road we were on would have led us to a pond.

The road up to one of the most peaceful spots ever! It was a little bit of a hike down to the pond, but so very worth it. When you got down on it and saw the whole thing completely iced over and the view all the way around it, it mesmerized me.

The boys getting on the pond and about to get the poles ready. They were definitely more brave than me. I really had to convince myself that I wasn't going to fall through into freezing ass cold water!

Pure beauty I tell you. This is one end of the pond.

And this is on the other side.

This is what one ice hole looks like. It looks smaller than what it really is. I believe that our holes were 8 inches.

Harold with the auger making our holes.

It is crazy. Once you break through the ice, water just comes spilling up. It was a good thing for him to have on water proof boots because he would have been soaked to the bone otherwise.

Eli getting the poles ready.

And here is the first fish of the day...caught by me! I was so very excited. I normally don't like fishing because it is so boring, but ice fishing is definitely a different story than normal. It is crazy to see the fish curl its body to come out of the hole.

The first four fish of the day...again, all caught by me. I was on fire the beginning of the day and then, it got very slow for me. But I was still having such a wonderful time!

I was across the pond from where Eli was and I couldn't help but pulling out my camera. He was so engrossed in watching his pole, just hoping that he would get a bite.

Just another shot of the pond.

He is so freaking cute!!!!!

This is the array of fish after being out for a couple hours. It really was one of the funnest experiences ever.

Still waiting for that fish to bite!

Oh how he hates pictures, but look how stinkin' cute he is!!!! This was the part of the day that you wanted all your layers on. The beginning part was super warm, like warm enough that you wanted to peel layers off. Then the cloud cover got thicker and the temperature started dropping. Not too much later, maybe ten minutes, and we started seeing little snow flurries.

I couldn't believe how clear it was and then how within minutes, the visibility was so much worse than what it had been. I didn't care though. I was having fun and didn't want to leave.

This is that same mountain range ten minutes later. Freaking crazy huh??? And it was starting to snow even more. We were warm though and didn't mind, so we stuck it out some more.

See, still sitting in the snow fishing. I never thought I would enjoy being out in the snow, ice fishing of all things. Let's all keep in mind, I HATE COLD!

Harold's little boy had fun putting all our fish in order from littlest to biggest. We caught 16 for the day. Not too bad. We would have had more too if it weren't for the weather.

The weather turned shitty and it was time to get out of there. It wasn't that it was cold, it was that it was snowing so hard and covering things so much that we didn't want to take any chance of not being able to get down the mountain. Could you imagine four people spending the night in a truck!? Ha, that would probably make for a good story.

Ah, he is me all bundled up. From the looks of this, it should be no wonder why I was so warm all day. The boy packed great for me. This is exactly what I was wearing: thermal pants, jeans, sweats, hunting pants, two thermal shirts, long sleeve shirt, t-shirt, two sweatshirts and then the coveralls over, two pair of socks, and my nice snow boots. Oh and I had on a neck warmer thing that also covered my head and ears. I felt like I was a 200 pound person with all those layers on. But I was warm and that is all that mattered.

Finally a picture of the two of us. He fought me all day and then finally gave in. My smile looks huge, but really it is just a snow flake!

It got even worse as we were taking pictures and packing up.


By the time we were ready to make the hike up the hill to the truck, you couldn't see any of the mountain that surrounded the lake. Not a single one. It felt like we were stuck in this snowing hole. It was so cool.

The adventure was amazing. Something that I definitely want to do again. I am no longer nervous about being warm enough. With enough layers, I know that I would be fine. Shit, if I wasn't at all cold with it snowing, there is no reason for me not to be going again. It is so fun that Eli and I are able to experience this stuff together. It is just so much fun and memories keep being made.

Stepping out of my Bubble

I didn't get near accomplished today what I wanted to or should have. Oh well, what can you do. I was very tired after being gone since right after work Friday (that story and pictures to come). I was excited thinking that I could sleep in today, but nope. I remembered I had a baby shower to go to. So I set an alarm and was up earlier than I wanted to be. And let me just tell you how hard it was getting out of bed this morning when I had Eli all snuggled up next to me. But I did.

Back to what I wanted to talk about. I used to be the type that hated going some where if I was alone. I always had to be with someone else. I wouldn't walk in some place (restaurant or gym) alone. I would always have whoever I was meeting meet me out front. If I was ever invited some place and didn't know anyone other than who invited me, I would make up and excuse not to go. It wasn't to be mean. It was just that I was never comfortable doing it. The twins could never understand it either. They always would ask, "How is it, you can be in a room and talk to anyone and everyone, but you can't walk into a restaurant to meet us by yourself?" I didn't know how to answer it. It was just how I was. Over the years though, I have really been trying hard to break that. I got to the point where I could walk into a club by myself to find my friends, I can walk into a restaurant to meet someone or get a table and wait for someone. I no longer need that other body next to me, that extra level of comfort.

That brings up the baby shower. I was invited to a baby shower today for one of the nicest people I know, but where I would know no one really. She is a sweetie. Well, after I told her I would be there, I started getting all bugged out like I would years ago and coming up with endless excuses on why I couldn't make it. But I knew that it would be so wrong on so many different levels if I didn't go. I was the first one to show up and I think that helped out my comfort level a lot. I did end up knowing a couple people just from meeting them at other get togethers with Eli. It turned out really nice. I met new people, I talked to the ones that I had met before and just really feel like I did well for stepping outside my little bubble and comfort zone. I was very happy that I went.

After, I came home and started doing stuff around the house - cleaning and laundry. I got a little bit of the way into it and then had Eli asking if I wanted to go to lunch with him and run a few errands. After not seeing him all day, I couldn't resist doing what I was and jumping in the truck next to him. When we got back to the house, I just finished up what I had started but now have some things that I am going to have to do during the week. Fine by me. Because I am tired and just want to chill and do a whole lot of nothing - well, other than blogging and hanging out with my honey. That is if I can get him off his computer. He is like a little kid in a candy store right now downloading music on his new computer. Gotta love him!

I have to tell you all about ice fishing, but will wait until I can put pictures up. I would do that tonight, but I don't have my cord with me. So, hopefully I will have time tomorrow!

TGIF

I don't think I can stress how excited I am that it is Friday and I have the weekend to look forward to. I don't know why, but this has been one of the longest weeks ever. Maybe it has to do with actually working a full 40 hour week - which is the first in about 3 weeks. Working for the State, I am quite spoiled with days off and being able to leave early around the holiday's. It is really nice and very appreciated.

Sitting here thinking about it, I started off the week tired and that never is a good start to a fresh week. And then since then, it has been a bunch of late nights, not a lot of sleep, a couple nights of not sleeping well. Work has been really stressing me out lately and that could account for some of my sleeping problems. I am still doing my old/normal job on top of doing the new job (which is still unofficial). And let me just tell you, that is quite a bit of work. It really seems to put a lot of pressure on me and the bouncing back and forth from office to office gets old. I just keep telling myself that I don't have much longer and everything will mellow out and become more settled. I do enjoy what I am doing. It just gets a bit overwhelming when I feel as though I am being pulled in twenty different directions.

This weekend is going to be very much enjoyed. I am going to have some cocktails, do some spot lighting, ice fishing, a baby shower on Sunday, and who knows what else. It will definitely be nice to get away from the office and all the doings going on around here.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Hopefully I come back Monday with some fun pictures!!

Selfishness

I had every intention of blogging about my adventures playing Bunco with Eli's mom last night, but right now, it isn't going to happen. I have something for my important that my fun last night weighing on my mind.

Right now, I am beyond shocked. This post is probably going to be very scattered because that is exactly how my thoughts and feelings are at this point. First of all, I have to point out that my boyfriend is a wonderful father. He does anything and everything that he can for those kids. He is caring, loving, protective, and cherishes the time that he does get to spend with them. He craves more time with them since the time that he does have is limited. Any time that he has the opportunity to have them extra, he jumps on it no matter what else is going on. Those children are his prized possessions. He loves them more than anything else in this world and it is so very clear to see every time they are with him/us. And it is clear to see just how much they love their daddy.

When I see how he is and how he is with the kids, I realize just how lucky is ex-wife is. There are so many other dad's out there that are deadbeat pieces of shit. They don't follow through wit h paying their child support, they come up with excuses not to see the kids, they don't do shit with them or pawn them off for someone else to take care of. I am very good friends with a woman who has two kids and divorced. She is lucky if her ex pays her child support. And on the rare occasion that he does, it is late or not the full amount. Not to mention he pays jack shit, but that is beside the point. Not only does the sorry ass not pay, but he also never sees his kids. He was supposed to have them for a little bit over the holiday's and didn't even bother calling to arrange a time to see them. There are so many guys like that out there and it is really sad for the kids that are involved.

You would think that a woman with kids, who is split from their father, would be happy that the father wants to be a part of the kids life. I understand that there could be a lot of negative feelings for the guy considering you aren't together, but to let your own personal feelings control the decisions that are made in regards to the kids is just a little out of line - in my opinion. I think that decisions should be based on the well being of the children. It should have nothing to do with anger, jealousy, hatred, hurt, or whatever other feeling is seething through your body. Because when a woman does make a decision that is strictly based on their own personal feelings and don't take into account the children and only to try to stick it to their ex, is down right selfish, vindictive and fucked up. It shows nothing more than jealousy. That and that the children are used as a means of control - which of course is something that you don't want to lose.

In the long run, it hurts the kids and that is the saddest thing ever. There is no need for it. If the dad was a jackass and didn't give a fuck about spending time with their kids, then I would say by all means don't do them any favors. But if there is a legit father out there that loves more than anything being with their kids and you are doing bitchy things, then you should really step back and check yourself. It really isn't worth it and I feel bad for anyone in such a situation.

I didn't...

Last night I didn't make it to the gym. I know, lazy asshole huh? But there was a reason. I was driving straight there from work and then is when I realized I packed everything but a sports bra. That is just not right. You can't work out in a regular bra. Far too uncomfortable. I was so bummed. Although I really wasn't in the mood to go the gym and work out alone, I was still going to go. Yes, I know I could have gone home, got my sports bra, then gone to the gym. But, I didn't feel like leaving the house once I was there. I love my home and get so side tracked once there will all that should be done.

However, I wasn't a complete lazy asshole. I did do lunges, squats, push ups, and crunches. And let me just say, I can actually feel the work that I did. So I wasn't just a huge waste of space. I didn't even sit down until after 8pm. I was busy doing things around the house, cooking dinner, dishes, laundry, anything that caught my eye really.

I was planning on going to the gym tonight. I found my sports bra buried under tons of clothes after being so completely frustrated. Then Eli's mom called me and asked me to go play Bunco. How can you say no to that??? I could go right after work, but her and I are working on some stuff at the shop after work. Maybe I will feel motivated enough to go work out after Bunco?? We will see. I have been up since 5:15am and will be going non-stop for the rest of the day. But I am still going to get my ass in gear and working out again!!!

I've Decided

I got to thinking yesterday. Ok not just yesterday. I have actually been thinking for awhile now that I need to stop censoring what I write. I need to branch out and be more open, write about all the crazy topics that come into my head but I don't write because I know that there are a couple people that have access to this blog that would love nothing more than to use what I write against me, my relationship, my boyfriend, etc. When I was openly writing about the kids and my relationship, comments would be made to Eli and that just isn't ok with me. That is why I starting blogging about certain things that pertain to him and all things that pertain to the kids on my Hidden Blog. I made it private so that I didn't have to worry about what might be said to Eli and to be sure that nothing could ever be used against him for any reason. If you are interested in reading that blog, leave a comment telling me. I moderate them, so I would be the only one that sees it and I will be sure to add you. It is sad that this is what it came down to, but that's what happens when there are immature, jealous people out there.

Anyhow, with my thinking, I figured that me not writing about things is going to stop. I am going to start writing about all the things that come to my head. I need to stop letting the worry of the backlash hold me back anymore. What I haven't decided is if I am just going to go ahead and post it all on this blog or if I will be posting it on the private one and just put on this one that I wrote a post about 'xyz' on the private blog. Maybe you guys could give me advice on what to do. Regardless, I am going to stop being so censored and so vague.

My Goal

Lately I have felt like a huge lazy ass. I know that I am not lazy by any means, but as far as being motivated enough to work out - LAZY ASS. I was doing so good about going to the gym and then some time in July, I just stopped going. There was no reason for it that I remember. Well, maybe it was because I was working out with my boss and her schedule changed and she couldn't make it when we would go. Not sure though. That and I hate working out by myself. I don't know why that is, but I do enjoy the company. Once I get into a groove though, it doesn't matter if I go alone or not.

With me feeling like a lazy ass, I have decided that I should probably get back into the gym. I love doing cardio (after the initial dread of starting). I used to be a big ole freak and work out 7 days a week, but right now, I think I can get by with at least 3 days. It will be nice too with me getting off work early because then I can get in and out of there before the rush. I just want to get in and get out. Today, even though I am dreading it, I am going to make my appearance and force myself to cardio. Just going will be a huge step. I am sure that after I go, I will feel so good and want to keep going.

I know that when I start going and get a routine down, I will make working out a priority. It is just the starting that routine that is so hard for me. I always tend to have a ton more energy, not ever be as tired, and sleep like a little baby. So there you have it. That is a goal of mine and I really need to stick to it. Not because I feel like I need to lose weight, but because I feel better about myself when I do.

Oh, and I just found out my mom and sister got a gym membership. So maybe the three of us can work out together sometimes. We live on opposite sides of town, so I won't drive to where they will be during the week, but I wouldn't mind making the drive at all on the weekend.

Thinking Award

This award was given to me by Valley Girl. If you haven't read her blog, you should. It is absolutely addicting and I LOVE it. Thank you very much for giving it out. I know you gave it to everyone on your blog roll, but it still means a lot.

Crazy Weather

After my last post, I left work only to walk out and find that it hadn't stopped raining. It just wasn't raining as hard. Not too much longer after I got home it started snowing. It was amazing and so absolutely beautiful. I was a moron though and didn't take pictures. I need to be better about that especially since I have a nice new camera that takes excellent pictures.

Today is nice and sunny and it just looks so beautiful with the snow that is covering campus. All the snow made for some super icy conditions driving this morning on my way to work. But I made it nice, safe, and on time! I enjoy looking at the snow, but not so much being in it or being cold. Just not a fan. I wouldn't mind going sledding though soon...as long as I am able to take breaks and get warm in the truck or something.

The weekend was very mellow, but great. Nice quality time with the fam. Now it is back to work! Not sure how excited I am about it, but I am here and plugging away. I have been so spoiled with days off and leaving early that the thought of working a full 40 hour week is just crazy!!! I'll get through it though.

Holy Water!

I haven't seen this much water in forever. The phone at work has been ringing off the dang hook. It has been unreal. We have double the work than we normally do on a normal day. In fact, we have done at least 50 work orders just since 12:30! That is just out of control. On a lighter note, I get to leave early. The big bosses don't want us driving when it starts turning to snow. So that is nice. At least they worry about our safety! So that is nice. I just can't believe the damage this storm has had so far. I hope it doesn't get worse!

Oh! Just as I was writing this, the rain has stopped. Good for all our leaks around the campus. But I wonder if this means that the snow is right on its way. I am glad that I am getting out of here and am going to be off the roads before rush hour traffic.

Be careful everyone driving!!! Have a wonderful weekend!

And the Rain Keeps Coming

It really has been raining non-stop since before I got up this morning. It is out of control. It isn't just a light rain either. It is dumping!!! It is out of control. It is so bad that most of our buildings at work have leaks or are starting to flood. Its very nuts!

I heard that the snow is supposed to come this afternoon...there are going to be some very icy driving conditions here. I am very thankful that it is Friday and I don't have to worry about driving around during the weekend. I have also heard that after our snow fall we are supposed to get some more rain. I wonder if we might flood too??!?! What a mess that would be!

To Be 16

My little sister is 16. And I would say over the last year or so she has gotten so into her looks. Always has to have her make-up done, her hair all done and perfect, dressed with everything skin tight and her little stomach showing. This is something I don't really understand. Yes, I wore the tight little clothes, but I never spent as much time in the bathroom getting ready as her. I do find it amusing to say the least because she frets about all the damn time primping and prodding. It seriously takes her double the time than me to get ready.

Anywho. With all that comes with her thinking that she is pretty hot shit. Don't get me wrong, my sister is fucking gorgeous. She is tall and skinny and just damn pretty. And right now, she is infatuated with her boobs. Well, actually this has been going on for awhile now. She is always wearing the lowest cut shirts that she can to show off her cleavage. Then there is me. I have never, and I mean NEVER, had boobs. They are tiny. In fact, it is really like they don't even exist. It is something that really used to bother me, but also something that I have come to terms with. I can't honestly say that there has never been a guy interested in my for my tits alone. HA! No, but for real. My sister thinks this is the funniest thing ever and is constantly trying to throw her boobs in my face. I understand being 16 and thinking like she does and being proud of her very cute little body, but it really gets old. I let her get her kicks in just because I know what it is like to be 16 and be like that.

So today I am sitting here working, in a decent mood and I get this text from her:

"my boobs grew...they're a C woop woop lol sorry"

Nice asshole! She is such a little shit. She must sit around watching them and constantly measuring or something. Whatever it is, she is very funny about her boobies!

Meltiness

He is the one that holds my heart and the one that makes me happy! I couldn't be more in love.

This past weekend I took him on a surprise vacation for his birthday (that was just days before Christmas). We had such a wonderful time and this is us at a Raiders game. Our first pro-football game and we shared it together just 18 rows from the field!!!

Storm Brewing

There is a really big storm warning in our area right now. I have heard that it is supposed to be one of our top 5 biggest storms or something like that. Anyhow, on my way to work I was listening to the radio and of course the storm was the topic of conversation. They are saying that there will be a blizzard in effect at 4am tomorrow and to be careful on the way to work because it is going to be slow go. This got me thinking...I would rather stay home than deal with all the stupid ass people that don't know how to drive in the snow. Any time there is any weather at all, people automatically get stuck on stupid. It is the most annoying thing. Even if it is just rain, you would think that there was feet of snow on the ground and that there are just inches of ice covering the roads.

I learned before I ever turned 16 how to drive in the snow. My dad was so good about making sure I was prepared. He always told me that the worst driver is a scared driver. He would make me start hauling ass and then slam on my brakes. Oh the things that we did while I was learning to drive. But I am so thankful for it. Because of him, I don't mind driving in any weather. I am confident in my driving abilities and know what to do in most situations. I grew up in Washoe Valley, so the drive from home to school, was a long one and the roads were always shitty in the winter.

What I do hate about driving in the snow, is just the other people. They are the ones that you really need to look out for. I have seen more people do more stupid shit in the snow. And if tomorrow is really going to be as bad as they say, I am really going to leave my house hours early so that I can beat all the morons that don't know shit about driving in the snow. I don't care how early I get to work and just have to sit here. It would definitely beat the aggravation of dealing with stupid drivers. I guess we will see what this storm brings. I am a little excited, but then not so much because I really, really don't like the cold! I am so ready for summer already!

New Year ~2008~

I seriously can't believe that it is 2008!!! The past year seriously flew by so quickly. But what a wonderful year it was. So many good things happened and my life has grown in so many ways. I am just so thankful!

We had a nice quiet New Year's Eve, just the four of us, and it was absolutely perfect. It was a nice change from how I used to spend them! Truthfully, I was ready for bed long before midnight, but somehow we managed to stay awake and kiss right at 12:00am!

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year. I am swamped at work and have so much to do, so will be catching up with everyone later.