I am

I am so looking forward to this weekend. I get to spend it relaxing and spending time with my favorite people - Eli and the kids. It should be fun. I am not sure what exactly we have planned, but I know no matter what we do, we will have a good time. I have been looking forward all day to knowing when I get off work and get home, they will be there! :) It has helped me get through this day, that is for sure.

It hasn't been a bad day, even with the annoying headache. It has just been super long and very slow. And I have spent most of the time alone because everyone seems to either have called in or had trainings to go to or just left early for the day. That's alright though because I am getting a crap load done and I have something wonderful to look forward to.

Worst Headache!

I have got by far the worst headache ever today. I don't know what the hell is going on. It actually started yesterday. It was one of those dull nagging ones that aren't really bad, but just enough for you to notice. I didn't take anything for it or anything and figured that today I would wake up and it would be gone. WRONG! I woke up this morning and it is splitting. I have to squint my eyes practically it hurts so bad. I made sure to take the strongest stuff I could get my hands on this morning and it toned it down a bit, but now is back full force. Damn it! I hate headaches. Guess its time to load up on more pain meds!

What a Day

I have gotten so much accomplished. The stack that piled from last week has greatly decreased. I actually started posting on the other blog, have been able to post on this one and start to get to reading others. I just feel as though I have been very productive.

I am loving the office right now. It is all nice and peaceful and just me. Leaves me to do whatever I want and not really have to work for a whole half hour. Oh lucky me!

Tonight's agenda from what I have been told: making chicken wings and drinking wine. So looking forward to that. And I do so much love, love, LOVE wine!!! So I get to look forward to another great night of laundry, cooking, and hanging out. What a perfect end to my day!

No More Lurkers!!

The private blog is now up and running. No more lurking!!! You can find it here. Be sure to send me your emails so that I can add you to it.

Nosey People

I have come to realize that I still have wondering eyes on my blog that really have no business reading it, but do for the simple fact that they have nothing better to do with their time and are trying to get information that could be used probably later on. I will go into more detail later.

Anyhow, I am going to be starting another blog and it will be private so that certain individuals don't have to read about the private things that don't concern them. I would however like for all my true readers to read it because on that blog, I won't have to be so censored about what I write and can finally share all sorts of fun information that I have been holding back. So please, send me your emails so that I can add you to the blog (once it is created of course).

Also, so you have any ideas for a good title??

Refreshed

I am back and alive!

I came back to a ton of work which explains me not posting yesterday (nor reading any other blogs) and I shouldn't be posting this morning, but I figured it was long over due AND I wanted to say what a great night I had last night.

After my long day at work yesterday - literally it was non-stop - I got to spend a great evening with my ever so loving boyfriend. Shannon, you are going to die when you read this, but it is true. We went grocery shopping last night...and...I actually enjoyed it. It is so nice not having to do the shopping by myself and the fact that he I wants to go with me, makes it that much more enjoyable. We have more fun and we are able to spend time together. After our fun little shopping adventure, we made dinner together and then got to cuddle on the couch for some movie time. It was honestly a perfect night.

You all have to keep in mind that me grocery shopping or cooking is very foreign! I never shopped when I was on my own. Shannon was always ripping my ass telling me I would save money and it would be healthier if I would just get groceries and make my lunch and dinner. And now, I actually get what she is saying. I make our lunches every day and dinner most nights. I don't really care to grocery shop every week, so I try to get enough stuff to last for two weeks. I don't like going on my own either. It is definitely more fun when you have someone there with you.

So all is well with me...great actually. Now, it is time to get back to work and tackle the huge mound on my desk. Have a great day all! :)

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, yesterday afternoon I had my final evaluation to become "permanent" with the state. I know, should have happened a flippin' year ago. But I was stupid and transferred to a shitty ass job and then had to finish out probation yet again. Nonetheless, I am now official!! It's about freaking time. I have been a "state" employee for two years now. Crazy that I have been working a real job for that long and not going to school or anything.

Anyway, back to the evaluation. I don't know why, but I always get super anxious and nervous about evaluations. I knew that I didn't need to be for this one because I know how great I am (haha, kidding), but I still was. I was actually quite shocked and please when I read over it. It was so wonderful to see that my hard work was actually noticed and to see how much my boss appreciates me. I am used to the parts in the evaluation where your boss says, "you need to work on..." and was so pleased to see that I had NONE of that! :)

In other news, I will be gone all next week. I will be sure to catch up when I get back though and fill you in on my where-abouts!! So have a great weekend and week!!

Oh and Jen, totally missed that you tagged me. I will try to do that later today!

My Happiness

I really am so very lucky. I have the greatest man that I share my life with that is always by my side. I have come to rely and trust Eli so much and honestly couldn't imagine my life without him at this point.

Me making him take a picture before he could get out of the truck and eat some ribs.


My love and his kids. They really do light up my life and bring me so much joy and happiness. Just wanted to share.

How?

I don't get how you can buy two of the exact same pair of jeans (same size, same fit, everything) and have one pair fit you absolutely perfect and then the other pair fall off you. How the hell does that happen? I am so uncomfortable with how these jeans are wearing today, that I am ready to go take a break and change into something different. How frustrating. And I don't think they will let me exchange them either so I just have a pair of "fat" pants that will be taking up space in my drawer.

Kinda Sad...and Annoying

I was reading a blog and talking to a friend today about some stuff that is going on and it just hit me how sad it is that people use blogging as a means of escape and yet, drama keeps seeping in. I just don't understand. I mean, I blog for the simple fact that it is nice to get things that I would normally keep to myself out. It is nice to be able to get opinions from fellow bloggers and have support other than the people that surround you in your every day life. I have found that by blogging, I tend to get better feedback from blogging than I do from going to my friends because there isn't the typical unbiased that you receive when going to close friends and family. Blogging just makes sense.

I know that there are a few people that have had trouble with drama on their blog and honestly it just pisses me off. I had drama of my own. I understand that drama was brought on by insecure, jealous girls, but whatever. The thing of it is, people shouldn't be causing drama on blogs. People are free to talk about whatever they want. People should be able to speak freely and not have to worry about back lash that they get from other readers. It just really bothers me that such negativity needs to be brought into a place where you feel free to write and share thoughts and feelings, experiences, emotions, and some pretty personal things in your life.

I guess it all just made me step back and question whether or not I should continue writing/blogging. It makes me so glad I am not participating in another blog that I found so much pleasure reading and was actually considering taking a part of... Now I just feel kind of lost about blogging.

Is it just me?

Or do a lot of people seem to be in bad moods lately??? I mean, it seems like everyone that I am around today and the last few days has just been in crappy moods and cranky and so on. I know that I haven't been a peach myself with the pain I have been in, but when you are in pain, it is a little hard to be all bubbly and act like every thing is all roses. My goodness. I feel like any positive energy is getting ripped out of me right now with all the negative that is going on.

Catch 22

I got my injections yesterday and when I was there I asked for some medication that was different than vicadin that would be able to help with pain. So he hooked me up with two new meds on top of my ibuprofen that is super strength. Well let me just freaking say, I feel like super ass shit. So now, not only and I fucking sore, I am feeling like I am going to have to run down the hall to puke! And I made sure to eat before taking them like the directions said. I don't know what to do. But I feel like crap. =(

My Injections

So, I went in for my injections last night. I have been nervous about them since I made the appointment last week. My mom was super cute and actually met me there just because she didn't want me to be there alone. It wasn't that I could do it alone, but that she just wanted to be there to support me. I thought that was sweet. Eli would have been there, but couldn't make it since he was working out of town. Anyhow, I got there on time and ended up having to sit in my room for over 45 minutes before my doctor came in. Normally I am very impatient, but knowing that pain that was coming and having a chance to sit there and talk with my mom was nice.

The doctor came in and before he would even do the injections, he started talking about epidurals. I don't know why, but just talking about them scares me. He said that with as many injections as I have gotten and depending how long the ones I got yesterday lasted would depend on whether or not I needed to take the epidural route he has been pushing for the last two and a half years. He started putting pressure on different areas of my back and took a step back and looked at me and he said, "You sure did wait until it got to where you couldn't handle it. Maybe next time don't let it get so bad." Then walked out to get the shots and everything ready. The needles are fucking huge. I am not a big fan of needles. Its not that I am scared to get normal shots or my blood drawn or anything, I just don't like the whole thought of needles sticking in my body.

After another ten or so minutes, he was back in and pressing on my neck to determine where I was going to get poked. He found the two worst parts on my neck, the two worst in my shoulder blade area that was affecting my mid-upper back, and then the two that were the worst in my lower back that were affecting not just my back but my hips as well. He started with the left shoulder blade. The poke of the needle doesn't hurt, it is the freaking crap that is pumped into me that burns like a bitch. I swear, it sucks super ass bad. It is so hard not to tense up and keep breathing, but if you don't, then it hurts that much more. Its just a shit situation. Anyhow, the then moved to the left side of my neck...that one hurt a little more. It was now the right upper side. Holy shit did I want to pass the fuck out. I can handle pain. But my right upper neck was one of the worst I got. I was so tight and inflamed that he had a hard time pushing the medicine into me. Then it was my back. And I will tell you those are the ones that seem to bother me the most. I don't know why but in the past my back will spasm uncontrollably and my knees buckle. I have to stand up and bend over with my ables on the table for him to give them. So he did the left side since that side seemed to be easier for me and since my neck was just rough. Then the right side. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My back wouldn't stop spasming, my knees buckled, and it took me FOREVER to get the medicine in.

I was so happy it was over, but at the same time, I was still in pain. I only got six shots this time (last time it was eight), but I think they were more general to help with exactly what the pain has been. The shots already have relaxed the muscles and the pain, but I am still very sore from where I got them. It goes away though after a few days. I just hope it lasts for awhile. I was told that depending how long these shots help me will depend whether they will even bother giving me the shots again. My doctor is dead set the epidural for my neck and back are the way to go. He didn't say anything about a chiropractor at all. Just therapy. So that is the update. I should be good hopefully by this weekend.